It's a good point, but perhaps mostly a semantic one. "Kindness" here was not meant to imply insincere but I think I get the distinction you are drawing. I gu

It's a good point, but perhaps mostly a semantic one. "Kindness" here was not meant to imply insincere but I think I get the distinction you are drawing. I guess I was mostly thinking along the lines that it's impossible to have a good model of the mental state of the person you are dealing with, so you simultaneously should be forgiving of rough edges in their treatment of you, and thoughtful about your treatment of them - absolutely I think this includes the sort of judgment you are talking about.