> she has said that me being reluctant [...] is a form of emotional abuse > her grad school tuition that I had been saving to pay for her > she has not worked

> she has said that me being reluctant [...] is a form of emotional abuse > her grad school tuition that I had been saving to pay for her > she has not worked for >90% of our ~10 year marriage My friend, you are not abusing your wife. She is abusing you. She is also gaslighting you into thinking you are the problem. You're not. And she is using your child to blackmail you emotionally. > things she has anxiety about doing -- driving the car to new places, walking the dog when it is dark outside This isn't anxiety, it's laziness. But if you're merely reluctant about the exact same things, she calls it "a form of emotional abuse." Brilliant. Unfortunately, the way the law is currently applied, there is nothing you can do without violating it.