I think you can find people who are publicly abusive and privately kind in online communities. I just finished listening to a podcast called My Year in Mensa,

I think you can find people who are publicly abusive and privately kind in online communities. I just finished listening to a podcast called My Year in Mensa, which centers around an unmoderated Mensa facebook group, and the author's interactions with them. As you can imagine from an unmoderated community, it sucks and a lot of people say shitty things there. A common refrain the author heard from people defending the group is "They're the nicest people in real life!", which may absolutely be the case, but publicly, they are presenting abusive versions of themselves.