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Some woman. Is the reason the gender skew was realized on Tinder. Paving the way for the dating situation (and large vs. normal pool of incels) among youths tod

Some woman. Is the reason the gender skew was realized on Tinder. Paving the way for the dating situation (and large vs. normal pool of incels) among youths today. Then Bumble. By the same woman. Targeting women (first), but then better for males actually. As the skew is less via attracting more women. Funny.

blueline 6y ago
what?
cheriot 6y ago
America, like most countries, has slightly more women than men (51.1%). The "incel" phenomenon seems more about men that don't know how to have a healthy relationship with a women. Ironically, the term "incel" was created by a women before it was coopted https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45284455 https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45284455
- reducesuffering 6y ago
  It's a bit more nuanced than that. While there are more woman than men, that's because of women outliving men by many years. All of that abundance is due to women in their 50's and up. For people of a more typical dating age, under 50, there are more men than women.
  - mikeyouse 6y ago
    I don’t think that’s necessarily true either - Young men have much higher mortality rates as well - up to 3x in some age groups: https://www.statista.com/statistics/241572/death-rate-by-age-and-sex-in-the-us/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/241572/death-rate-by-age... Primarily from accidents and violence if I recall correctly.
    - reducesuffering 6y ago
      While true, that's still data that is secondary to the main point. These are the real stats that reflect the disparity. https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the...
  - cheriot 6y ago
    Yep, age is a big factor here. The gender ratio reaches parity around age 40[1]. After that there's more women than men. The point being that gender ratio is not a viable explanation for incel communities. [1] https://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-03.pdf https://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-03.pdf
- symlinkk 6y ago
  You can’t just dismiss it as “oh these guys are emotionally immature”. The average woman on dating sites gets hundreds of messages, and the average guy gets tens. That is a MASSIVE imbalance in favor of women. It’s not hard to imagine that this could cause problems that would lead to a group like incels being created. I think we need to look more into the cause (why are men so devalued on dating sites) and not the symptom (why are men getting bitter and becoming incels).
  - reducesuffering 6y ago
    I think most people would agree with what the cause is as it's quite intuitive based on how most societies in the world are structured. I would be surprised if the main cause ended up being different than this collective intuition. Men are generally lauded by society for casual dating and "spreading their seed," while women receive the opposite treatment. They are still generally honored for being very selective in their dating and only engaging in a monogamous relationship with the best mate. Hence, many men end up trying to sleep with most women on Tinder, while not committing to a monogamous relationship. While more women are trying to find the best mate that will commit to a monogamous relationship. Note: The above only applies to hetero dynamics. I'm ill informed on lgbtq+.
    - iamatworknow 6y ago
      >Men are generally lauded by society for casual dating and "spreading their seed," while women receive the opposite treatment. They are still generally honored for being very selective in their dating and only engaging in a monogamous relationship with the best mate. Anecdotally I don't believe this to be the case anymore. A good quarter or so of the women I see on dating apps pretty proudly claim they're polyamorous.
      - istorical 6y ago
        are you in the bay area? I have found that the prominence of poly seems to be a hyperlocal phenomenon in certain metro areas but especially the bay.
- baccheion 6y ago
  There are twice as many males on Tinder compared to women. Further, women swipe less often. 1 out of 2 people are at least unattractive, 1 out of 3 are outright attractive, and 1 out of 5 are hot. The top half is typically seen as viable by males when they stretch (and women explicitly seek the top 20%). That is, all viable 50/100 women are gobbled up by the top 50/200 (ie, 25%) males. Not even out of "attractive" males and the viable women are already gone. The top 20% of males then end up being enough due to the swipe skew.
  - cheriot 6y ago
    Yet there's just as many women in society trying to find partners.
    - baccheion 6y ago
      The online skew was brought to life. Most of those pairings aren't a committed relationship. That is, most people roam freely until older (and setup to realize that at most 5-10% of romantic pairings can be minimally mutually satisfying). The gender skew really made possible the accessing of the top 20% by the last slice of viable women. The top 80% of women have always gone after the top 20% of males. The top 20% (hot) and top 3rd (hot + outright attractive) generally succeeded, leaving the rest of the top 50% (viable) for everyone else. With this skew and overall warping of the mind/perception, now the top 50% often succeed at procuring a male in the top 20%. That is, all viable women are generally gone before getting to the other 80% of males. As it gets even clearer to women, it'll keep getting worse. Women want to be with AND to be impregnated by the top 20%. If they realize that longer-term relationships are bogus anyway and they start being able to financially support themselves (as the prevailing norm), the "bottom" 80% of males simply won't exist. Most of the action gotten by them came from the 1/6th above the line and below the top 3rd. Women like commitment, so maybe it'll linger anyway. It's already the case that 80% of white people over 40 have been married at least once. 80% of women over 40 have had at least 1 child. 57% for males over 40. Get it? During the roaming days, they ideally want the top 20% There doesn't have to be enough to gobble up ALL women, as only the top half are seen as viable by males anyway. Beyond that, the ideal choice for males (ie, top 3rd) are already gobbled up by the top 20%. Further, the rest are had by extending to the top 3rd. The bottom 2/3rds of males never existed. Now it's the bottom 80% and total inaccessibility of women in the top 50%. The last 1/6th deals the most noticeable blow. Confusion primarily stems from difference in measure used to create the top 20%. Women have a different measure, but males often assume they are primarily about aesthetics.

blueline 6y ago

what?

cheriot 6y ago

America, like most countries, has slightly more women than men (51.1%). The "incel" phenomenon seems more about men that don't know how to have a healthy relationship with a women. Ironically, the term "incel" was created by a women before it was coopted https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45284455 https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45284455

reducesuffering 6y ago
It's a bit more nuanced than that. While there are more woman than men, that's because of women outliving men by many years. All of that abundance is due to women in their 50's and up. For people of a more typical dating age, under 50, there are more men than women.
- mikeyouse 6y ago
  I don’t think that’s necessarily true either - Young men have much higher mortality rates as well - up to 3x in some age groups: https://www.statista.com/statistics/241572/death-rate-by-age-and-sex-in-the-us/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/241572/death-rate-by-age... Primarily from accidents and violence if I recall correctly.
  - reducesuffering 6y ago
    While true, that's still data that is secondary to the main point. These are the real stats that reflect the disparity. https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/241488/population-of-the...
- cheriot 6y ago
  Yep, age is a big factor here. The gender ratio reaches parity around age 40[1]. After that there's more women than men. The point being that gender ratio is not a viable explanation for incel communities. [1] https://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-03.pdf https://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-03.pdf
symlinkk 6y ago
You can’t just dismiss it as “oh these guys are emotionally immature”. The average woman on dating sites gets hundreds of messages, and the average guy gets tens. That is a MASSIVE imbalance in favor of women. It’s not hard to imagine that this could cause problems that would lead to a group like incels being created. I think we need to look more into the cause (why are men so devalued on dating sites) and not the symptom (why are men getting bitter and becoming incels).
- reducesuffering 6y ago
  I think most people would agree with what the cause is as it's quite intuitive based on how most societies in the world are structured. I would be surprised if the main cause ended up being different than this collective intuition. Men are generally lauded by society for casual dating and "spreading their seed," while women receive the opposite treatment. They are still generally honored for being very selective in their dating and only engaging in a monogamous relationship with the best mate. Hence, many men end up trying to sleep with most women on Tinder, while not committing to a monogamous relationship. While more women are trying to find the best mate that will commit to a monogamous relationship. Note: The above only applies to hetero dynamics. I'm ill informed on lgbtq+.
  - iamatworknow 6y ago
    >Men are generally lauded by society for casual dating and "spreading their seed," while women receive the opposite treatment. They are still generally honored for being very selective in their dating and only engaging in a monogamous relationship with the best mate. Anecdotally I don't believe this to be the case anymore. A good quarter or so of the women I see on dating apps pretty proudly claim they're polyamorous.
    - istorical 6y ago
      are you in the bay area? I have found that the prominence of poly seems to be a hyperlocal phenomenon in certain metro areas but especially the bay.
baccheion 6y ago
There are twice as many males on Tinder compared to women. Further, women swipe less often. 1 out of 2 people are at least unattractive, 1 out of 3 are outright attractive, and 1 out of 5 are hot. The top half is typically seen as viable by males when they stretch (and women explicitly seek the top 20%). That is, all viable 50/100 women are gobbled up by the top 50/200 (ie, 25%) males. Not even out of "attractive" males and the viable women are already gone. The top 20% of males then end up being enough due to the swipe skew.
- cheriot 6y ago
  Yet there's just as many women in society trying to find partners.
  - baccheion 6y ago
    The online skew was brought to life. Most of those pairings aren't a committed relationship. That is, most people roam freely until older (and setup to realize that at most 5-10% of romantic pairings can be minimally mutually satisfying). The gender skew really made possible the accessing of the top 20% by the last slice of viable women. The top 80% of women have always gone after the top 20% of males. The top 20% (hot) and top 3rd (hot + outright attractive) generally succeeded, leaving the rest of the top 50% (viable) for everyone else. With this skew and overall warping of the mind/perception, now the top 50% often succeed at procuring a male in the top 20%. That is, all viable women are generally gone before getting to the other 80% of males. As it gets even clearer to women, it'll keep getting worse. Women want to be with AND to be impregnated by the top 20%. If they realize that longer-term relationships are bogus anyway and they start being able to financially support themselves (as the prevailing norm), the "bottom" 80% of males simply won't exist. Most of the action gotten by them came from the 1/6th above the line and below the top 3rd. Women like commitment, so maybe it'll linger anyway. It's already the case that 80% of white people over 40 have been married at least once. 80% of women over 40 have had at least 1 child. 57% for males over 40. Get it? During the roaming days, they ideally want the top 20% There doesn't have to be enough to gobble up ALL women, as only the top half are seen as viable by males anyway. Beyond that, the ideal choice for males (ie, top 3rd) are already gobbled up by the top 20%. Further, the rest are had by extending to the top 3rd. The bottom 2/3rds of males never existed. Now it's the bottom 80% and total inaccessibility of women in the top 50%. The last 1/6th deals the most noticeable blow. Confusion primarily stems from difference in measure used to create the top 20%. Women have a different measure, but males often assume they are primarily about aesthetics.