5 ms·

I believe it's called a mask. People with some personality disorders gradually develop a sort of behavioral mask to wear in public in order to fit in into the w

I believe it's called a mask. People with some personality disorders gradually develop a sort of behavioral mask to wear in public in order to fit in into the wider society and be able to achieve one's goals. However, having it 'on' is apparently taxing, so it comes off around people who are in one way or another part of some inner circle for whom there's no point to pretend.

kayodelycaon 6y ago
That’s what I call it. I’ve been hiding being bipolar since I was nine years old. I had a significant personality change after a psychotic break and most people don’t think I’ve changed. I know I have.
- tartoran 6y ago
  How do you know you've changed and it's not just the perception of how you see yourself post the event? Did you change your thinking patterns as well? If you're uncomfortable to share that's more than okay and very understandable.
  - kayodelycaon 6y ago
    Love to. I’m a card-carrying member of the Over-sharers Club The way I think and care about people has changed. I no longer care what people think about me. At the same time, I have a depth of compassion and empathy I couldn’t have had before. I have no obligation to anyone. This lets me choose to care about someone without getting unnecessarily attracted. As a result, I can share my love and support freely without worrying about people taking advantage of me. I have no guilt showing people the door. As a result of this, my motivations have changed. To use a metaphor, I see myself as a light in a dark world. My goal is to make everyone’s day a little better. I’m not some kind of savior, though I have saved lives. I’m just a “good person” trying to do “good things”. My interests have changed in odd ways. I’d never have written erotica but sex is far more interesting to me now. This isn’t a result of me being repressed. I’ve always been asexual and been hypersexual since I was nine. But now I’m deeply exploring sexuality in my writing. The last one is both odd and the most fundamental to my being. Just take it at face value. I had a deep, spiritual connection with wolves from six years old until my break. That connection was a core part of me and without it, I wouldn’t have known who I was. That connection is gone and I really don’t care about it. As far as I’m concerned, it was delusional thinking. I no longer have the spirituality that was such a part of me. There is only the rational world now. (Side note: My faith in God had always been rational, not emotional or spiritual.) If I had to guess, I think sexuality took the place of spiritually in my brain. It’s quite possible I haven’t changed as much as I think, but the world inside my head is so vastly different, I can’t understand the person I was before.
    - kayodelycaon 6y ago
      Another note on masks. If you’ve always been known for your positive traits and your negative ones can be overlooked by people who like you, many people won’t notice if your positive traits get better and your negative ones become smoothed out. If they do notice, they chalk it up to maturity.
      - tartoran 6y ago
        Yes, this happens quite a bit as we can’t really see what’s going on inside other people’s minds. It is very interesting to say your sexuality took over spirituality in your case. How old were you when this happens? During puberty, adolescence and early adulthood we go trough transformations that are in a way not very well understood, in regard to sexuality I mean, think all the hormonal production going through the roof and stabilizing later on in life, but this is connected to mental health as well. Although I am not suffering of serious mental issues, just some anxiety and depression here and there for short periods of time, I remember first experiencing anxiety as an adolescent and didn’t know what it was then. It was mild though.
        kayodelycaon 6y ago
        > How old were you when this happens? I was 32 when this all happened.
holtalanm 6y ago
> However, having it 'on' is apparently taxing That just sounds like standard introvert, though. The hiker in the article, on the other hand, seems to be off-the-deep-end introvert.
- jgilias 6y ago
  It's... Not even close. What I had in mind was what clinical narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths do. Their brains are wired completely differently than what is regarded as normal, to the point where you can see that on CT scans. There was a story about a researcher who figured out he's a high-functioning psychopath by looking at his CT scans. I'm digressing. So, typically, starting from a very early age they'd learn the behaviors they need to do in order to not get into trouble. Down to 'make an upward arch with your mouth when you see someone who knows you'. Must be very hard to live like that, I don't think it's comparable to what introverts do. Because introverts simply amplify behaviors that they do have, or understand, or are at least able to relate to from parts of personal experience. Contrast that to literally coming up with an artificial persona that you can't even relate to in any way and having to always stick to that. This is why the masks ar pretty much always super charming and likeable. If you're acting anyway, might as well act like someone that's super likeable. Pretty much how you max out a player in some game.
- teclordphrack2 6y ago
  I assume you can be an introvert who has no mental issues. I also assume you can be an introvert who has some spectrum and type of mental illness, sexual and gender classification they choose, past exploitation and/or violence committed against you, etc. I just think it is interesting b/c the person underneath the shell is different person to person and I think we lump very granular groups into large piles for ease of discussion and use. I think he wanted a mental health, possibly a moral/spiritual awakening but he was toward the end or had completed the hike and was facing reality that there was a mental issue or past event in his life that he could not get past. Maybe just going back to the "real world" was just to much if it had to be in his own skin with his past.
dspillett 6y ago
> I believe it's called a mask ... a sort of behavioral mask to wear in public It is indeed fairly common. I'm affected (thankfully not strongly these days) by bipolar behaviour. I try to present a more average me as the mask. > in order to fit in into the wider society and be able to achieve one's goals. It can be more selfless than that. In work life it is about fitting in (or at least not standing out in an inconvenient way) but in personal life it is more that I don't people to worry overly. I have things well managed, I know I can push through, I know it will pass, there is no need to cause stress in others. > However having it 'on' is apparently taxing During a bad patch, the extra concentration adds up over time if you find yourself having to work at it for a while. I don't have many prolonged bad patches, I imagine it can get exponentially harder for those more severely affected than me. It is why a lot of people experiencing mental health issues retreat away from interaction even if they are not otherwise particularly introverted.

kayodelycaon 6y ago

That’s what I call it. I’ve been hiding being bipolar since I was nine years old. I had a significant personality change after a psychotic break and most people don’t think I’ve changed. I know I have.

tartoran 6y ago
How do you know you've changed and it's not just the perception of how you see yourself post the event? Did you change your thinking patterns as well? If you're uncomfortable to share that's more than okay and very understandable.
- kayodelycaon 6y ago
  Love to. I’m a card-carrying member of the Over-sharers Club The way I think and care about people has changed. I no longer care what people think about me. At the same time, I have a depth of compassion and empathy I couldn’t have had before. I have no obligation to anyone. This lets me choose to care about someone without getting unnecessarily attracted. As a result, I can share my love and support freely without worrying about people taking advantage of me. I have no guilt showing people the door. As a result of this, my motivations have changed. To use a metaphor, I see myself as a light in a dark world. My goal is to make everyone’s day a little better. I’m not some kind of savior, though I have saved lives. I’m just a “good person” trying to do “good things”. My interests have changed in odd ways. I’d never have written erotica but sex is far more interesting to me now. This isn’t a result of me being repressed. I’ve always been asexual and been hypersexual since I was nine. But now I’m deeply exploring sexuality in my writing. The last one is both odd and the most fundamental to my being. Just take it at face value. I had a deep, spiritual connection with wolves from six years old until my break. That connection was a core part of me and without it, I wouldn’t have known who I was. That connection is gone and I really don’t care about it. As far as I’m concerned, it was delusional thinking. I no longer have the spirituality that was such a part of me. There is only the rational world now. (Side note: My faith in God had always been rational, not emotional or spiritual.) If I had to guess, I think sexuality took the place of spiritually in my brain. It’s quite possible I haven’t changed as much as I think, but the world inside my head is so vastly different, I can’t understand the person I was before.
  - kayodelycaon 6y ago
    Another note on masks. If you’ve always been known for your positive traits and your negative ones can be overlooked by people who like you, many people won’t notice if your positive traits get better and your negative ones become smoothed out. If they do notice, they chalk it up to maturity.
    - tartoran 6y ago
      Yes, this happens quite a bit as we can’t really see what’s going on inside other people’s minds. It is very interesting to say your sexuality took over spirituality in your case. How old were you when this happens? During puberty, adolescence and early adulthood we go trough transformations that are in a way not very well understood, in regard to sexuality I mean, think all the hormonal production going through the roof and stabilizing later on in life, but this is connected to mental health as well. Although I am not suffering of serious mental issues, just some anxiety and depression here and there for short periods of time, I remember first experiencing anxiety as an adolescent and didn’t know what it was then. It was mild though.
      - kayodelycaon 6y ago
        > How old were you when this happens? I was 32 when this all happened.

holtalanm 6y ago

> However, having it 'on' is apparently taxing That just sounds like standard introvert, though. The hiker in the article, on the other hand, seems to be off-the-deep-end introvert.

jgilias 6y ago
It's... Not even close. What I had in mind was what clinical narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths do. Their brains are wired completely differently than what is regarded as normal, to the point where you can see that on CT scans. There was a story about a researcher who figured out he's a high-functioning psychopath by looking at his CT scans. I'm digressing. So, typically, starting from a very early age they'd learn the behaviors they need to do in order to not get into trouble. Down to 'make an upward arch with your mouth when you see someone who knows you'. Must be very hard to live like that, I don't think it's comparable to what introverts do. Because introverts simply amplify behaviors that they do have, or understand, or are at least able to relate to from parts of personal experience. Contrast that to literally coming up with an artificial persona that you can't even relate to in any way and having to always stick to that. This is why the masks ar pretty much always super charming and likeable. If you're acting anyway, might as well act like someone that's super likeable. Pretty much how you max out a player in some game.
teclordphrack2 6y ago
I assume you can be an introvert who has no mental issues. I also assume you can be an introvert who has some spectrum and type of mental illness, sexual and gender classification they choose, past exploitation and/or violence committed against you, etc. I just think it is interesting b/c the person underneath the shell is different person to person and I think we lump very granular groups into large piles for ease of discussion and use. I think he wanted a mental health, possibly a moral/spiritual awakening but he was toward the end or had completed the hike and was facing reality that there was a mental issue or past event in his life that he could not get past. Maybe just going back to the "real world" was just to much if it had to be in his own skin with his past.

dspillett 6y ago

> I believe it's called a mask ... a sort of behavioral mask to wear in public It is indeed fairly common. I'm affected (thankfully not strongly these days) by bipolar behaviour. I try to present a more average me as the mask. > in order to fit in into the wider society and be able to achieve one's goals. It can be more selfless than that. In work life it is about fitting in (or at least not standing out in an inconvenient way) but in personal life it is more that I don't people to worry overly. I have things well managed, I know I can push through, I know it will pass, there is no need to cause stress in others. > However having it 'on' is apparently taxing During a bad patch, the extra concentration adds up over time if you find yourself having to work at it for a while. I don't have many prolonged bad patches, I imagine it can get exponentially harder for those more severely affected than me. It is why a lot of people experiencing mental health issues retreat away from interaction even if they are not otherwise particularly introverted.