4 ms·

This is indicative of a personality disorder. My father had BPD and behaved this way. My mother was borderline and behaved this way. People like this do not be

This is indicative of a personality disorder. My father had BPD and behaved this way. My mother was borderline and behaved this way. People like this do not behave abusively towards their loved ones all the time, it's pretty on-and-off. The loved one is typically a dependent or avoidant. They remain in the relationship because they need the positive affirmations, and healthy people do not want to be with a dependent or avoidant. So, no choice but to suffer the negativity also. It's clear that this man developed a personality disorder as the result of suffering abuse as a child.

tartoran 6y ago
> It's clear that this man developed a personality disorder as the result of suffering abuse as a child. I'd say that is pretty hard to tell from the hearsay and all these are just speculations, which are okay. We're learning more from these conversations anyway.
- typefourpd 6y ago
  Thank you for your gentle and respectful method of disagreement. I agree that my assumption was based on hearsay. Fundamentally, I don't believe that children who are loved and protected by their primary caregivers shoot themselves in the stomach in an attempt to die.
  - tartoran 6y ago
    You're welcome. Mental health is a very misunderstood topic because it is something we cannot directly peer into and the stigma associated with mental health makes people hide it very well. It is possible to have a who child goes off the rails in a very nurturing and a generally normal family. I've seen cases where one of the many siblings gets to become a sociopath and the family never understands why and they continue to be normal and consistently try to get their sibling back on track. It is clear that abuse in the family doesn't always play a role. But quite often it does and while mental health has a hereditary component, a bad environment only makes things worse. I recommend Ramsay's movie 'We need to talk about Kevin' to make an idea of how wrong it could go. Surely, it is a movie but it's not too far from reality.
TeaDrunk 6y ago
This is indicative only of specific personality disorders. There are several other personality disorders that don't behave this way and are defined by other actions entirely, eg. schizotypal personality disorder is mostly being defined by distorted perceptions and belief systems.
jandrese 6y ago
> It's clear that this man developed a personality disorder as the result of suffering abuse as a child. I don't think the causality is clear at all. If he treated his parents the way he treated his girlfriends then his childhood would have been rough no matter how loving they were. If he behaves like he did in the article: polite at first but increasingly hostile the longer the relationship lasted then he must have been a hellish teenager to wrangle. One part of the article mentions that his anger at his father may have been the result of putting him in an institution.

tartoran 6y ago

> It's clear that this man developed a personality disorder as the result of suffering abuse as a child. I'd say that is pretty hard to tell from the hearsay and all these are just speculations, which are okay. We're learning more from these conversations anyway.

typefourpd 6y ago
Thank you for your gentle and respectful method of disagreement. I agree that my assumption was based on hearsay. Fundamentally, I don't believe that children who are loved and protected by their primary caregivers shoot themselves in the stomach in an attempt to die.
- tartoran 6y ago
  You're welcome. Mental health is a very misunderstood topic because it is something we cannot directly peer into and the stigma associated with mental health makes people hide it very well. It is possible to have a who child goes off the rails in a very nurturing and a generally normal family. I've seen cases where one of the many siblings gets to become a sociopath and the family never understands why and they continue to be normal and consistently try to get their sibling back on track. It is clear that abuse in the family doesn't always play a role. But quite often it does and while mental health has a hereditary component, a bad environment only makes things worse. I recommend Ramsay's movie 'We need to talk about Kevin' to make an idea of how wrong it could go. Surely, it is a movie but it's not too far from reality.

TeaDrunk 6y ago

This is indicative only of specific personality disorders. There are several other personality disorders that don't behave this way and are defined by other actions entirely, eg. schizotypal personality disorder is mostly being defined by distorted perceptions and belief systems.

jandrese 6y ago

> It's clear that this man developed a personality disorder as the result of suffering abuse as a child. I don't think the causality is clear at all. If he treated his parents the way he treated his girlfriends then his childhood would have been rough no matter how loving they were. If he behaves like he did in the article: polite at first but increasingly hostile the longer the relationship lasted then he must have been a hellish teenager to wrangle. One part of the article mentions that his anger at his father may have been the result of putting him in an institution.