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The unsettling truth is that he was deeply troubled, and, at times, an abusive asshole who didn’t necessarily warrant quite as much compassion from strangers as
by IfOnlyYouKnew 6y ago
The unsettling truth is that he was deeply troubled, and, at times, an abusive asshole who didn’t necessarily warrant quite as much compassion from strangers as he was given.
I’m open to the idea that it may not really matter, and everyone deserves the dignity to not be buried anonymously. But there were a lot of resources invested in this case because he looked very relatable in photos. He was very different from what people thought of him, and what motivated them, and therefore the truth is unsettling wrt that effort.
This doesn’t mean the effort was wrong, or that he was a monster not worthy of compassion. He was clearly fighting some demons, sometimes winning, sometimes losing, sometimes unleashing them on others. It defies easy moral judgements, and I believe the article does an excellent job saying as much.
But meanwhile, thousands die anonymously and unnoticed every year, and their photos and circumstances of death are far less compelling, but many if not most of them would have life stories that do not include multiple episodes of physically and psychologically abusing everyone close to them.
Compassionate efforts often cannot be shifted according to utilitarian calculations (which is one argument for getting together and making them someone’s actual job, in a process usually called “government”). But stories like this do maybe serve to make some people think about the best allocation of such efforts.
(The other unsettling truth is that HN can read this story and come away asking what people could possibly object to in his life story, and why one should believe the spouses (plural) that describe his dark side)
- throwaway56745 6y agoIt's a slippery slope (and mildly sociopathic) to start judging people's worthiness of being murdered (or sought justice for) based on whether they were a good or bad person. Allocating resources based on how charming someone's photo is is also wrong, and worthy of discussion, though presumably people at least aren't doing that consciously. Edit: I'm fairly disturbed that this appears to be controversial.
- zerocrates 6y agoI don't think there's any indication this person was murdered, nor that there's anybody to seek justice against.
- throwaway56745 6y agoAh, I guess that's on me for only skimming the article. Still, death is death. We shouldn't trivialize it just because the person in question wasn't a good person, which is what it felt like the GP was suggesting.
- renewiltord 6y agoThis is wholly platitudinous. There are individuals whose death is of near zero utility to me and individuals whose death is of positive utility to me even accounting for any knock-on effects of considering any human death trivial. I know one is usually meant to just nod when people say things like "all human life matters" and "no death is anything but horrible" and all that, but it's really not true. In fact, if I model people's actions I find that nearly everyone will nod along with those things but few people act in a manner that is consistent with that action.
- astura 6y agoThe article says one thing the investigators are sure of from the beginning is he died of "natural causes." Toward the end it seems like he might have starved to death or maybe of dehydration.
- f38zf5vdt 6y agoI think the most unsettling truth is about how titles are being assembled in search of ad revenue, since "Formerly anonymous hitchhiker who died alone lived troubled life" gets a lot less clicks -- since that seems almost like a non-story. Assembling dialogue around the divisive narrative of a misleading title is just something that plays into it and I think something we all need to avoid.
- IfOnlyYouKnew 6y agoyawn
- deeeeplearning 6y ago>The other unsettling truth is that HN can read this story and come away asking what people could possibly object to in his life story, and why one should believe the spouses (plural) that describe his dark side What's unsettling about thinking that hit pieces on a dead man with quotes from supposed "ex girlfriends" is obnoxious?
- ryandrake 6y agoYea that’s the first thing I thought. If I wanted to write an honest and fair assessment on someone, I probably would take the stories from ex-girlfriends (or anyone else with a potential ax to grind) with a grain of salt. A lot of us wouldn’t want our biographies to be written by ex’s. Unfortunately the author really didn’t have many more people to interview as the guy was a bit of a loner.
- renewiltord 6y agoSure, but how many of us have exes that would say we beat them? I would be very surprised if even the more acrimonious breakups of mine claimed that I hit them. Pretty sure most of us have never laid a hand in anger on our partners.
- deeeeplearning 6y agoWere there any police reports? Was he arrested for battery? Honestly it's pure hearsay otherwise. We can't really be expected to take the word of jilted ex lovers at face value, sorry.
- renewiltord 6y agoBelieve what you want. No one is really trying to convince you, specifically. It's just a human interest story at the end of it. For my part, I find it sufficient for me to conclude this guy hit his girlfriend.
- 6y ago
- iJohnDoe 6y ago@IfOnlyYouKnew Very level headed and great comment. It’s amazing how much victim blaming HN does on almost any topic. Separately, IMO, previous girlfriends or friends, etc. won’t go out of their way to spit on someone’s grave. I think the exception is when someone finally feels safe to speak out that they were abused or if the person was a true POS. Not sure why the default logic in this case is to automatically assume the exes are bad mouthing the deceased just because they can. Sure, it happens, but in this case there were two separate first-hand accounts and from the girl’s parents.