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If you like this line of thinking, I would suggest reading "Games People Play" [1] (also can find the original research paper if you look around for it). Basic

If you like this line of thinking, I would suggest reading "Games People Play" [1] (also can find the original research paper if you look around for it). Basic premise is how we fall into transactional games in social settings (talking about weather, sports, etc) and acknowledging that can help break out of that into more interesting conversation. [1] https://www.amazon.com/Games-People-Play-Psychology-Relationships/dp/0241257476/ https://www.amazon.com/Games-People-Play-Psychology-Relation...

filoleg 6y ago
Just bought the book based off your recommendation, thanks a lot for that. I was curious to read something along the lines of thinking the OP was musing on, but couldn't phrase it in a way that would help me find it. And neither did i suspect that it was an actual thing people wrote about, as opposed to just me having some random thoughts and wishing someone wrote about those. Reading the description of that book makes me believe that you absolutely nailed it with that recommendation.
senkora 6y ago
I second “Games People Play”. It’s a very enjoyable read and it has a lot of real insight.
wsinks 6y ago
I discovered Games People Play in 2017, and found it to be a fascinating exploration of how people communicate. I still refer to it. I don't have much info on this, but I brought it up to my mom who mentioned that the book had a period of popularity before my time, but had apparently been debunked as too rudimentary. I'm convinced that the framework is still relevant despite that, although I typically trust my mom's intuition on people's behind the scenes incentives -- she's proven to have theories about people that take months to play out but end up playing out.
- wombatmobile 6y ago
  > she's proven to have theories about people that take months to play out but end up playing out. All mothers have that - but they're different theories...
- Dracophoenix 6y ago
  Any examples?
moonchild 6y ago
Sounds like a derivative of Wittgenstein's work.
Paddywack 6y ago
Wow. I read this at around 16 in 1983 and it made a huge impression on me then. It helped me really understand a few things about myself, as I always felt very socially out of it... Time to re-read!!

filoleg 6y ago

Just bought the book based off your recommendation, thanks a lot for that. I was curious to read something along the lines of thinking the OP was musing on, but couldn't phrase it in a way that would help me find it. And neither did i suspect that it was an actual thing people wrote about, as opposed to just me having some random thoughts and wishing someone wrote about those. Reading the description of that book makes me believe that you absolutely nailed it with that recommendation.

senkora 6y ago

I second “Games People Play”. It’s a very enjoyable read and it has a lot of real insight.

wsinks 6y ago

I discovered Games People Play in 2017, and found it to be a fascinating exploration of how people communicate. I still refer to it. I don't have much info on this, but I brought it up to my mom who mentioned that the book had a period of popularity before my time, but had apparently been debunked as too rudimentary. I'm convinced that the framework is still relevant despite that, although I typically trust my mom's intuition on people's behind the scenes incentives -- she's proven to have theories about people that take months to play out but end up playing out.

wombatmobile 6y ago
> she's proven to have theories about people that take months to play out but end up playing out. All mothers have that - but they're different theories...
Dracophoenix 6y ago
Any examples?

moonchild 6y ago

Sounds like a derivative of Wittgenstein's work.

Paddywack 6y ago

Wow. I read this at around 16 in 1983 and it made a huge impression on me then. It helped me really understand a few things about myself, as I always felt very socially out of it... Time to re-read!!