I've noticed in the replies below that you've said you don't have meaningful relationships with anyone. I firmly believe that this is a strong contributing fact

I've noticed in the replies below that you've said you don't have meaningful relationships with anyone. I firmly believe that this is a strong contributing factor to how you feel right now. I've been through similar situations in my life as well, very dark times that I have trouble believing I went through. Do you want to talk more? My email is in my profile. I'm happy to talk with you!