3 ms·

> Worse when you were planning on implementing it soon anyways, but now if you do it's "rewarding" their behaviour (in their eyes at least), and they become inv

by fn1 6y ago

> Worse when you were planning on implementing it soon anyways, but now if you do it's "rewarding" their behaviour (in their eyes at least), and they become invigorated to go and spread their toxicity even further. No, please don't think like that. Implement what you see fit when you planned to do it and you can ignore this. 1. You don't know how "toxic" people really are. Some of them are nice, but just put no time/understanding into their internet communication. They write and forgot what they wrote a minute later. 2. If they really need to learn something, talking to them politely "Thanks for the suggestion but...", "Could you please..." etc. will help over time. Not doing something in the fear of rewarding their behaviour is way too complex to understand.

folkrav 6y ago
> 1. You don't know how "toxic" people really are. Some of them are nice, but just put no time/understanding into their internet communication. They write and forgot what they wrote a minute later. A bit of a cop-out, IMHO. That's also true of real-life interactions: most people you'll talk to, you'll forget about 5 minutes later. I honestly don't remember if I said anything in particular to the corner store lady just yesterday, and I see her every other day. If I was a jerk to her, putting in thought or not, I was the asshole, final. Seriously, it's not that hard not being an asshole, just... don't be. > 2. If they really need to learn something, talking to them politely "Thanks for the suggestion but...", "Could you please..." etc. will help over time. Not doing something in the fear of rewarding their behaviour is way too complex to understand. Sure, treat people with respect. However, I'm not convinced it would be that guy's responsibility not to hurt someone's feelings, especially when that person was a jerk in the first place. I don't think we owe respect to someone who was disrespectful. The whole point is that dealing with it is a chore; having to take the time to educate people on their own behavior doesn't make it easier. I just think it shouldn't be _expected_ of maintainers to have to deal with it at all: simply closing the issue or ignoring the request should be seen as a fine response to asshole behavior.
meetups323 6y ago
End of the day yes I'll implement the thing I was planning on implementing -- I'm not going to let some random user dramatically change my planning process. But the added work of having that conversation if needed gets factored into my mental idea of the cost of the item (I didn't get into software engineering because interpersonal relations come easily and stress-free), and if that means that I prioritize lower cost items with the same impact, so be it.

by fn1 6y ago

folkrav 6y ago

> 1. You don't know how "toxic" people really are. Some of them are nice, but just put no time/understanding into their internet communication. They write and forgot what they wrote a minute later. A bit of a cop-out, IMHO. That's also true of real-life interactions: most people you'll talk to, you'll forget about 5 minutes later. I honestly don't remember if I said anything in particular to the corner store lady just yesterday, and I see her every other day. If I was a jerk to her, putting in thought or not, I was the asshole, final. Seriously, it's not that hard not being an asshole, just... don't be. > 2. If they really need to learn something, talking to them politely "Thanks for the suggestion but...", "Could you please..." etc. will help over time. Not doing something in the fear of rewarding their behaviour is way too complex to understand. Sure, treat people with respect. However, I'm not convinced it would be that guy's responsibility not to hurt someone's feelings, especially when that person was a jerk in the first place. I don't think we owe respect to someone who was disrespectful. The whole point is that dealing with it is a chore; having to take the time to educate people on their own behavior doesn't make it easier. I just think it shouldn't be _expected_ of maintainers to have to deal with it at all: simply closing the issue or ignoring the request should be seen as a fine response to asshole behavior.

meetups323 6y ago

End of the day yes I'll implement the thing I was planning on implementing -- I'm not going to let some random user dramatically change my planning process. But the added work of having that conversation if needed gets factored into my mental idea of the cost of the item (I didn't get into software engineering because interpersonal relations come easily and stress-free), and if that means that I prioritize lower cost items with the same impact, so be it.