I think at least some of the discomfort you (and I) are feeling with this is due to the fact that these private companies made exceptions to their terms of use

I think at least some of the discomfort you (and I) are feeling with this is due to the fact that these private companies made exceptions to their terms of use for so long, that now that they suddenly enforce them, it feels capricious. They should have banned Trump for violating their terms years ago, but they gave him a pass and now they’ve revoked that pass. As long as there are unambiguous rules that are evenly enforced regardless of what political position you happen to hold, I have no problem with it.