3 ms·

> Why? Why is a woman, just because she's a woman, supposed to be treated unfairly? Just because some people were treated badly (supposedly) by other women? Tha

> Why? Why is a woman, just because she's a woman, supposed to be treated unfairly? Just because some people were treated badly (supposedly) by other women? That's just... random. If I were treated badly by a blond person once, or even more times, that wouldn't make it OK for me to treat blonds badly, just because they're blond. I don't think you understand the magnitude to which this occurs. When a man has been rejected/ignored by EVERY SINGLE woman he has met thus far, you can't really blame him for not being very friendly towards the next woman he meets. This is a far cry from being "treated badly by a blond person once, or even more times". > They just don't put as much effort into "socializing" that they do into other things. Then perhaps women that want to be a part of the tech scene should put more effort into "socializing" as well. The high school social scene is every bit as brutal to nerds as the tech social scene is to women.

eropple 15y ago
When a man has been rejected/ignored by EVERY SINGLE woman he has met thus far, you can't really blame him for not being very friendly towards the next woman he meets. Of course and without question you can. The imposition here is that your constructed nerd is emotionally immature to the point where he cannot divorce the actions of one person from another. He may even be so emotionally immature--but that is his problem and nobody else's. Accepting and condoning it cannot be borne. Then perhaps women that want to be a part of the tech scene should put more effort into "socializing" as well. I am hoping I am reading this wrong, because the implication behind your use of the word "socializing" seems to not be the same as your post's parent. Please expound on this. What do you expect them to do?
- exit 15y ago
  > but that is his problem and nobody else's. lol, then why are we reading this article? you can have all the expectations you like towards realizing your gender-equality utopia. very few of them will ever be respected. whereas paul points out an actually addressable cultural issue.
  - eropple 15y ago
    then why are we reading this article? Because sufficient social pressure is not regularly and consistently brought to bear on said misogynists to grow up. Unfortunately.
- w1ntermute 15y ago
  > Of course and without question you can. The imposition here is that your constructed nerd is emotionally immature to the point where he cannot divorce the actions of one person from another. He may even be so emotionally immature--but that is his problem and nobody else's. Accepting and condoning it cannot be borne. Then what is your solution? When someone gets treated like shit by a group of people for years on end, you can't expect them to turn around and smile to that same group of people who are suddenly interested in him because he's overflowing with cash. It might be a surprise to you, but nerds are not unemotional robots. > I am hoping I am reading this wrong, because the implication behind your use of the word "socializing" seems to not be the same as your post's parent. Please expound on this. What do you expect them to do? Just as the quintessential nerd sticks out like a sore thumb in high school, women tend to stick out like a sore thumb in the tech industry. A lot of women in the tech industry tend to capitalize on their "otherness", just as nerds do in high school. In both cases, it's counterproductive.
  - eropple 15y ago
    Nobody's talking about "smiling" at them. They are, however, talking about not demanding sex from them and barring them from conferences because they refused. There's a pretty broad separation here. You don't have to like every person you meet. I certainly don't. But you do have to tolerate them.
    - w1ntermute 15y ago
      > Nobody's talking about "smiling" at them. They are, however, talking about not demanding sex from them and barring them from conferences because they refused. There's a pretty broad separation here. Like I said above, I am NOT condoning sexual harrassment or any other illegal activity in any way. I'm speaking in more general terms as to why the poor treatment women receive in the tech industry is not arbitrary or unfounded.
      - eropple 15y ago
        "Some people who had a vagina didn't like me, so I'm going to hate on all people with vaginas." Yeah, that's arbitrary (do you hate on all people with a high melanin count because you're mugged by an African-American?) and unfounded (is there any rational reason to believe all African-Americans are muggers?). You are desperately trying to rationalize shitty behavior by immature people. The answer's not in "but she wouldn't date me when I wasn't attractive or interesting or socially competent". . Again: you don't have to like everyone. You do have to tolerate them. This should be so basic as to be beyond argument.
crux_ 15y ago
> When a man has been rejected/ignored by EVERY SINGLE woman he has met thus far, you can't really blame him for not being very friendly towards the next woman he meets. a) "Not very friendly" is a different thing from assault and harassment. Don't use weasel words; you are writing a defence of the assaults and harassment in your comments, not "unfriendliness." b) Where do you think the rejections are coming from? I can't imagine that many women would want to date someone who resents their entire gender based upon some juvenile grudge. > The high school social scene is every bit as brutal to nerds as the tech social scene is to women. Thus the two evils are cancelled out, and everyone is absolved of all responsibility for their actions! Wait... that's not how it works? </sarcasm>
- w1ntermute 15y ago
  > "Not very friendly" is a different thing from assault and harassment. Don't use weasel words; you are writing a defence of the assaults and harassment in your comments, not "unfriendliness." I am not condoning sexual harrassment or any other illegal activity in any way. But I don't see a problem with giving what you get (i.e., not going out of your way to help out or be friendly to women in the industry). > I can't imagine that many women would want to date someone who resents their entire gender based upon some juvenile grudge. You're putting the cart before the horse. The grudge is a RESULT of women not wanting to date them, NOT the CAUSE. > Thus the two evils are cancelled out, and everyone is absolved of all responsibility for their actions! > Wait... that's not how it works? </sarcasm> You're still missing the point. People are not impartial and unemotional, even in a professional setting. Years of mental conditioning cannot be undone by just stating that certain rules of professional conduct must be followed.
  - eropple 15y ago
    I don't see a problem with giving what you get (i.e., not going out of your way to help out or be friendly to women in the industry) Who's talking about "helping women out"? They don't need help. We're talking about not attacking them. You continue to use weasel words, except when directly confronted with your acceptance of harassment and assault, that imply that--hey--it's just not that big a deal. You are wrong. It is that big a deal. And acceptance of these behaviors--you can say you're not, but to be entirely honest I suspect disingenuity--is also wrong. You're putting the cart before the horse. The grudge is a RESULT of women not wanting to date them, NOT the CAUSE. And if they're emotionally unstable and immature enough to hold that sort of grudge, why exactly would anyone want to date them in the first place? It does, at the end of the day, go back to people who are reasonable and well-adjusted having little interest in close personal relationships with people who are unreasonable and ill-adjusted. Why should they behave otherwise? Why can't the ill-adjusted people with the seething rage toward anyone who doesn't have a Y chromosome grow up a little? People are not impartial and unemotional, even in a professional setting. Years of mental conditioning cannot be undone by just stating that certain rules of professional conduct must be followed. It's hard, so they shouldn't do it?

eropple 15y ago

When a man has been rejected/ignored by EVERY SINGLE woman he has met thus far, you can't really blame him for not being very friendly towards the next woman he meets. Of course and without question you can. The imposition here is that your constructed nerd is emotionally immature to the point where he cannot divorce the actions of one person from another. He may even be so emotionally immature--but that is his problem and nobody else's. Accepting and condoning it cannot be borne. Then perhaps women that want to be a part of the tech scene should put more effort into "socializing" as well. I am hoping I am reading this wrong, because the implication behind your use of the word "socializing" seems to not be the same as your post's parent. Please expound on this. What do you expect them to do?

exit 15y ago
> but that is his problem and nobody else's. lol, then why are we reading this article? you can have all the expectations you like towards realizing your gender-equality utopia. very few of them will ever be respected. whereas paul points out an actually addressable cultural issue.
- eropple 15y ago
  then why are we reading this article? Because sufficient social pressure is not regularly and consistently brought to bear on said misogynists to grow up. Unfortunately.
w1ntermute 15y ago
> Of course and without question you can. The imposition here is that your constructed nerd is emotionally immature to the point where he cannot divorce the actions of one person from another. He may even be so emotionally immature--but that is his problem and nobody else's. Accepting and condoning it cannot be borne. Then what is your solution? When someone gets treated like shit by a group of people for years on end, you can't expect them to turn around and smile to that same group of people who are suddenly interested in him because he's overflowing with cash. It might be a surprise to you, but nerds are not unemotional robots. > I am hoping I am reading this wrong, because the implication behind your use of the word "socializing" seems to not be the same as your post's parent. Please expound on this. What do you expect them to do? Just as the quintessential nerd sticks out like a sore thumb in high school, women tend to stick out like a sore thumb in the tech industry. A lot of women in the tech industry tend to capitalize on their "otherness", just as nerds do in high school. In both cases, it's counterproductive.
- eropple 15y ago
  Nobody's talking about "smiling" at them. They are, however, talking about not demanding sex from them and barring them from conferences because they refused. There's a pretty broad separation here. You don't have to like every person you meet. I certainly don't. But you do have to tolerate them.
  - w1ntermute 15y ago
    > Nobody's talking about "smiling" at them. They are, however, talking about not demanding sex from them and barring them from conferences because they refused. There's a pretty broad separation here. Like I said above, I am NOT condoning sexual harrassment or any other illegal activity in any way. I'm speaking in more general terms as to why the poor treatment women receive in the tech industry is not arbitrary or unfounded.
    - eropple 15y ago
      "Some people who had a vagina didn't like me, so I'm going to hate on all people with vaginas." Yeah, that's arbitrary (do you hate on all people with a high melanin count because you're mugged by an African-American?) and unfounded (is there any rational reason to believe all African-Americans are muggers?). You are desperately trying to rationalize shitty behavior by immature people. The answer's not in "but she wouldn't date me when I wasn't attractive or interesting or socially competent". . Again: you don't have to like everyone. You do have to tolerate them. This should be so basic as to be beyond argument.

crux_ 15y ago

> When a man has been rejected/ignored by EVERY SINGLE woman he has met thus far, you can't really blame him for not being very friendly towards the next woman he meets. a) "Not very friendly" is a different thing from assault and harassment. Don't use weasel words; you are writing a defence of the assaults and harassment in your comments, not "unfriendliness." b) Where do you think the rejections are coming from? I can't imagine that many women would want to date someone who resents their entire gender based upon some juvenile grudge. > The high school social scene is every bit as brutal to nerds as the tech social scene is to women. Thus the two evils are cancelled out, and everyone is absolved of all responsibility for their actions! Wait... that's not how it works? </sarcasm>

w1ntermute 15y ago
> "Not very friendly" is a different thing from assault and harassment. Don't use weasel words; you are writing a defence of the assaults and harassment in your comments, not "unfriendliness." I am not condoning sexual harrassment or any other illegal activity in any way. But I don't see a problem with giving what you get (i.e., not going out of your way to help out or be friendly to women in the industry). > I can't imagine that many women would want to date someone who resents their entire gender based upon some juvenile grudge. You're putting the cart before the horse. The grudge is a RESULT of women not wanting to date them, NOT the CAUSE. > Thus the two evils are cancelled out, and everyone is absolved of all responsibility for their actions! > Wait... that's not how it works? </sarcasm> You're still missing the point. People are not impartial and unemotional, even in a professional setting. Years of mental conditioning cannot be undone by just stating that certain rules of professional conduct must be followed.
- eropple 15y ago
  I don't see a problem with giving what you get (i.e., not going out of your way to help out or be friendly to women in the industry) Who's talking about "helping women out"? They don't need help. We're talking about not attacking them. You continue to use weasel words, except when directly confronted with your acceptance of harassment and assault, that imply that--hey--it's just not that big a deal. You are wrong. It is that big a deal. And acceptance of these behaviors--you can say you're not, but to be entirely honest I suspect disingenuity--is also wrong. You're putting the cart before the horse. The grudge is a RESULT of women not wanting to date them, NOT the CAUSE. And if they're emotionally unstable and immature enough to hold that sort of grudge, why exactly would anyone want to date them in the first place? It does, at the end of the day, go back to people who are reasonable and well-adjusted having little interest in close personal relationships with people who are unreasonable and ill-adjusted. Why should they behave otherwise? Why can't the ill-adjusted people with the seething rage toward anyone who doesn't have a Y chromosome grow up a little? People are not impartial and unemotional, even in a professional setting. Years of mental conditioning cannot be undone by just stating that certain rules of professional conduct must be followed. It's hard, so they shouldn't do it?