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I can't disagree more strongly with the things you wrote. In fact, I'm pretty appalled by them. "Men who go into technical fields suffer serious scars from soc

by edanm 15y ago

I can't disagree more strongly with the things you wrote. In fact, I'm pretty appalled by them. "Men who go into technical fields suffer serious scars from social rejection that's every bit as painful as apartheid." I'm not really sure you get what apartheid is. "[A] woman is pretty presumptuous to think she will be treated fairly by technically oriented men" Why? Why is a woman, just because she's a woman, supposed to be treated unfairly? Just because some people were treated badly (supposedly) by other women? That's just... random. If I were treated badly by a blond person once, or even more times, that wouldn't make it OK for me to treat blonds badly, just because they're blond. On top of these points, you're also implying a lot of things that aren't true. "Men who go into technical fields suffer serious scars from social rejection" All men? Only in technical professions? Why are you giving weight to this not very accurate representations of anyone going into a technical career being socially scarred? Even if it has some basis in fact, it's nowhere near ubiquitous. And it's certainly not only people in technical professions - many people have scars from childhood. Besides, you're making it seem like the women are the problem, who "socially scar" and "completely shut out and exclude" technically-oriented men. In truth, it's often the men's fault. They just don't put as much effort into "socializing" that they do into other things. It might not always be conscious, but it's a choice they make. The worst thing to do is to "blame the women", both because it's inaccurate, and because it's unproductive.

w1ntermute 15y ago
> Why? Why is a woman, just because she's a woman, supposed to be treated unfairly? Just because some people were treated badly (supposedly) by other women? That's just... random. If I were treated badly by a blond person once, or even more times, that wouldn't make it OK for me to treat blonds badly, just because they're blond. I don't think you understand the magnitude to which this occurs. When a man has been rejected/ignored by EVERY SINGLE woman he has met thus far, you can't really blame him for not being very friendly towards the next woman he meets. This is a far cry from being "treated badly by a blond person once, or even more times". > They just don't put as much effort into "socializing" that they do into other things. Then perhaps women that want to be a part of the tech scene should put more effort into "socializing" as well. The high school social scene is every bit as brutal to nerds as the tech social scene is to women.
- eropple 15y ago
  When a man has been rejected/ignored by EVERY SINGLE woman he has met thus far, you can't really blame him for not being very friendly towards the next woman he meets. Of course and without question you can. The imposition here is that your constructed nerd is emotionally immature to the point where he cannot divorce the actions of one person from another. He may even be so emotionally immature--but that is his problem and nobody else's. Accepting and condoning it cannot be borne. Then perhaps women that want to be a part of the tech scene should put more effort into "socializing" as well. I am hoping I am reading this wrong, because the implication behind your use of the word "socializing" seems to not be the same as your post's parent. Please expound on this. What do you expect them to do?
  - exit 15y ago
    > but that is his problem and nobody else's. lol, then why are we reading this article? you can have all the expectations you like towards realizing your gender-equality utopia. very few of them will ever be respected. whereas paul points out an actually addressable cultural issue.
    - eropple 15y ago
      then why are we reading this article? Because sufficient social pressure is not regularly and consistently brought to bear on said misogynists to grow up. Unfortunately.
  - w1ntermute 15y ago
    > Of course and without question you can. The imposition here is that your constructed nerd is emotionally immature to the point where he cannot divorce the actions of one person from another. He may even be so emotionally immature--but that is his problem and nobody else's. Accepting and condoning it cannot be borne. Then what is your solution? When someone gets treated like shit by a group of people for years on end, you can't expect them to turn around and smile to that same group of people who are suddenly interested in him because he's overflowing with cash. It might be a surprise to you, but nerds are not unemotional robots. > I am hoping I am reading this wrong, because the implication behind your use of the word "socializing" seems to not be the same as your post's parent. Please expound on this. What do you expect them to do? Just as the quintessential nerd sticks out like a sore thumb in high school, women tend to stick out like a sore thumb in the tech industry. A lot of women in the tech industry tend to capitalize on their "otherness", just as nerds do in high school. In both cases, it's counterproductive.

by edanm 15y ago

w1ntermute 15y ago

> Why? Why is a woman, just because she's a woman, supposed to be treated unfairly? Just because some people were treated badly (supposedly) by other women? That's just... random. If I were treated badly by a blond person once, or even more times, that wouldn't make it OK for me to treat blonds badly, just because they're blond. I don't think you understand the magnitude to which this occurs. When a man has been rejected/ignored by EVERY SINGLE woman he has met thus far, you can't really blame him for not being very friendly towards the next woman he meets. This is a far cry from being "treated badly by a blond person once, or even more times". > They just don't put as much effort into "socializing" that they do into other things. Then perhaps women that want to be a part of the tech scene should put more effort into "socializing" as well. The high school social scene is every bit as brutal to nerds as the tech social scene is to women.

eropple 15y ago
When a man has been rejected/ignored by EVERY SINGLE woman he has met thus far, you can't really blame him for not being very friendly towards the next woman he meets. Of course and without question you can. The imposition here is that your constructed nerd is emotionally immature to the point where he cannot divorce the actions of one person from another. He may even be so emotionally immature--but that is his problem and nobody else's. Accepting and condoning it cannot be borne. Then perhaps women that want to be a part of the tech scene should put more effort into "socializing" as well. I am hoping I am reading this wrong, because the implication behind your use of the word "socializing" seems to not be the same as your post's parent. Please expound on this. What do you expect them to do?
- exit 15y ago
  > but that is his problem and nobody else's. lol, then why are we reading this article? you can have all the expectations you like towards realizing your gender-equality utopia. very few of them will ever be respected. whereas paul points out an actually addressable cultural issue.
  - eropple 15y ago
    then why are we reading this article? Because sufficient social pressure is not regularly and consistently brought to bear on said misogynists to grow up. Unfortunately.
- w1ntermute 15y ago
  > Of course and without question you can. The imposition here is that your constructed nerd is emotionally immature to the point where he cannot divorce the actions of one person from another. He may even be so emotionally immature--but that is his problem and nobody else's. Accepting and condoning it cannot be borne. Then what is your solution? When someone gets treated like shit by a group of people for years on end, you can't expect them to turn around and smile to that same group of people who are suddenly interested in him because he's overflowing with cash. It might be a surprise to you, but nerds are not unemotional robots. > I am hoping I am reading this wrong, because the implication behind your use of the word "socializing" seems to not be the same as your post's parent. Please expound on this. What do you expect them to do? Just as the quintessential nerd sticks out like a sore thumb in high school, women tend to stick out like a sore thumb in the tech industry. A lot of women in the tech industry tend to capitalize on their "otherness", just as nerds do in high school. In both cases, it's counterproductive.