6 ms·

Maybe it was not a feeling of entitlement but rather a problem with dealing with rejection that caused the problem - like a nerd could hurt and hence find it un

by Tichy 15y ago

Maybe it was not a feeling of entitlement but rather a problem with dealing with rejection that caused the problem - like a nerd could hurt and hence find it unbearable to be around the desired woman. That would take some practice.

arkitaip 15y ago
But that's very different from the situation which Tammy Camp found herself in, i.e. requested to have sex or leave the conferences. Being socially inept is one thing, being a discriminating douchebag quite another.
- Tichy 15y ago
  Honestly, I don't think we really know that. We only know Tammy's interpretation. I think there must be some background story at least? Or do conference organizer just go through the photos attached to applications and say "hey, she's hot, let's blackmail her for sex"?
- exit 15y ago
  given that we've only heard tammy's one line summary of the encounter, maybe.
eropple 15y ago
And in a professional environment, they should be expected to deal with it responsibly and in a mature manner. Is propositioning Ms. Camp either responsible or mature?
- Tichy 15y ago
  I think the point of the sub-parent was that some nerds never got a chance to mature. This is not meant to defend such behavior.
  - eropple 15y ago
    I would change your statement to read "never chose to mature" rather than "never got a chance to mature." If you spend your formative years not taking advantage of the opportunities that exist, I have trouble mustering sympathy. (And like I said elsewhere in this thread, I certainly did that until the middle of high school. It's not easy to break out of it, but the only one who can is you.)
  - KuraFire 15y ago
    Every single rejection from a girl in high school or a woman after that is a chance to mature. In fact, it's a nearly-spoon-fed opportunity to mature. Anyone that doesn’t mature at least somewhat from such scenarios is actively choosing not to. Maybe not consciously, but they are making the decision to resent and blame, rather than regret and find out why they got rejected.
    - prodigal_erik 15y ago
      There is no why. Nerds think there should be an actionable reason, and that's part of the problem. It's just how she feels, and even she probably doesn't understand it. We accumulate years of damage from bad advice because better advice (rejections are too random to take personally, so forget your big doomed crushes, improve your odds where you can, and try everybody) is somewhat dehumanizing.

by Tichy 15y ago

arkitaip 15y ago

But that's very different from the situation which Tammy Camp found herself in, i.e. requested to have sex or leave the conferences. Being socially inept is one thing, being a discriminating douchebag quite another.

Tichy 15y ago
Honestly, I don't think we really know that. We only know Tammy's interpretation. I think there must be some background story at least? Or do conference organizer just go through the photos attached to applications and say "hey, she's hot, let's blackmail her for sex"?
exit 15y ago
given that we've only heard tammy's one line summary of the encounter, maybe.

eropple 15y ago

And in a professional environment, they should be expected to deal with it responsibly and in a mature manner. Is propositioning Ms. Camp either responsible or mature?

Tichy 15y ago
I think the point of the sub-parent was that some nerds never got a chance to mature. This is not meant to defend such behavior.
- eropple 15y ago
  I would change your statement to read "never chose to mature" rather than "never got a chance to mature." If you spend your formative years not taking advantage of the opportunities that exist, I have trouble mustering sympathy. (And like I said elsewhere in this thread, I certainly did that until the middle of high school. It's not easy to break out of it, but the only one who can is you.)
- KuraFire 15y ago
  Every single rejection from a girl in high school or a woman after that is a chance to mature. In fact, it's a nearly-spoon-fed opportunity to mature. Anyone that doesn’t mature at least somewhat from such scenarios is actively choosing not to. Maybe not consciously, but they are making the decision to resent and blame, rather than regret and find out why they got rejected.
  - prodigal_erik 15y ago
    There is no why. Nerds think there should be an actionable reason, and that's part of the problem. It's just how she feels, and even she probably doesn't understand it. We accumulate years of damage from bad advice because better advice (rejections are too random to take personally, so forget your big doomed crushes, improve your odds where you can, and try everybody) is somewhat dehumanizing.