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Interesting to see this on the front page! I spent a year in a monetary mostly cloistered. While I'm glad now for the life I ultimately chose of having a family

Interesting to see this on the front page! I spent a year in a monetary mostly cloistered. While I'm glad now for the life I ultimately chose of having a family, I often draw from the experience, especially the discernment process (the Ignatius Exercises) and the meditation/contemplation practice.

h2odragon 6y ago
Say on; first hand experience in this is rare. What did you discover you missed most on returning to "the real world"? was a year enough time?
- hawktheslayer 6y ago
  Ironically I missed the structure that came from the vow of obedience that felt at times like I gave up all my individual freedom. I learned this gave me focus on the thing at hand, whether it was praying, meditating, cooking or cleaning. I still miss the sheer simplicity of that life.
  - jkepler 6y ago
    Amazing how form and freedom aren't antithetical, but are actually part and parcel of true liberty.
    - geerlingguy 6y ago
      It's a strange paradox, but one that I've found time and again; 'liberty' to do anything anytime can be much more restrictive than 'freedom' to choose one thing and then move on.
      - Thorentis 6y ago
        It is very saddening to see "modern" and "progressive" thinkers promote the idea of choice and freedom, while condemning those that choose particular lifestyles (monks, housewives, etc). Some of the happiest people in the world are the ones that choose a simple yet rewarding lifestyle. The unhappy ones, as I have invariably found, are those that are never happy with the choices of others.
        morsch 6y ago
        I don't condemn housewives, I think it's important that care work is recognised as, well, work. I'd say that calling it a simple yet rewarding lifestyle makes it sound a lot less difficult than it is, it comes off as dismissive. Having gotten a taste of both worlds, I can tell you working as a software developer is a lot more simple and, at times, more rewarding. Many people are in a situation where they can't make the choice to exclusively do care work, due to financial constraints, and much of the care work is done by women who also work for money alongside of it. So in a way, being wealthy enough to have one person concentrate on maintaining the house is lucky. At the same time, it's a risky choice, because it leads to financial dependency on the partner, and marriages tend to end.
        darkwater 6y ago
        A little problem with "housewives" here: many of them didn't choose anything, nor had a voice in choosing their lives. The same applied to monks centuries ago, if you weren't the first born, your destiny would be joining a monk life. But at least that stopped a while ago, while housewives by "force" are still a reality today in many situations.
        fakedang 6y ago
        But are they forced? Ancedotal evidence but the wife of one of my cousins explicitly chose not to work in spite of having the required qualifications as a dentist, simply because she doesn't want to work and just wants to raise her children. Even though they live in an expensive city. Of course, you'd be hard pressed to find such examples these days. On the other hand, I have cousins in marriages where both are forced to work because they live in an expensive city where one person's salary is often not enough to cover living expenses. And as trends go, I think we'll be seeing more of the workers by "force" example in the coming years. Increasingly the trend I've observed within my large extended family and my fiancée's family (different cultures altogether) is that the wives in more affluent families tend to work as either housewives or in less taxing roles where they can still take care of the house, even if they can afford servants and carers, while the less affluent ones are required to have two breadwinners.
        6y ago
      - JackFr 6y ago
        https://youtu.be/GqmsQeSzMdw https://youtu.be/GqmsQeSzMdw Liberties constrain, constraints liberate. The things we can lear from programming language theory!
      - Robin_Message 6y ago
        I like one of the Bene Gesserrit maxims in Frank Herbert's Dune series: Seek freedom and be a slave to your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.
  - 50 6y ago
    > I still miss the sheer simplicity of that life. Reminds me of this part of a Thomas Merton audio piece that I just listened to which you might enjoy (~22:50 to ~35:01): https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1370&v=Zr3V-BnENmA&feature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1370&v=Zr3V-BnENmA&feature=y...
  - trhway 6y ago
    sounds similar to military.
  - elcritch 6y ago
    I've visited a couple of Greek monasteries for a few days each over the years. Even that short time as a layman was very refreshing. Even "mundane" acts were contemplative.
christophilus 6y ago
I spent some time discerning as a Trappist, and now have a family. I’ve found the lack of silence to be the biggest challenge. How is your prayer life as a parent?
- galaxyLogic 6y ago
  Trappists make great beer right? It is strong beer and gets your head messed up. I've often wondered how such good religious folks would become producers of alcoholic drinks. I assume they didn't drink themselves, doesn't go well with meditation I assume. So are they more like thinking "Let the sinners drink this since they want, and it will pay for the rent of our meditation chambers?"
  - christophilus 6y ago
    Catholics have no problem with drinking, so yes. The monks who brew also drink.
  - pdw 6y ago
    They follow St Benedict's rule, the rule that OP linked to, but they understand "wine" to refer to alcoholic drinks in general.
  - Thorentis 6y ago
    There is no issue with alcohol in Catholicism. Indeed, some during the middle ages would live off beer alone during Lent, when they would abstain from food entirely. It is simply a question of moderation. There are many medevial images of monks drinking. "In Catholicsm, the Pint, the Pipe, and the Cross can all fit together." ~ GK Chesterton.
    - Stratoscope 6y ago
      Indeed, when I was a kid, I learned that when the parish priest stopped by our home, we always offered him a shot of whiskey.
      - 6y ago
afpx 6y ago
I would love to hear about your experiences. Do you have a blog?
simonebrunozzi 6y ago
I'm the poster. I've read the Rule of St. Benedict in Italian, a few years back (I'm from Italy, and specifically from Umbria, the region where St. Benedict was from [0]. Yesterday I saw this on Project Gutenberg and I felt inspired to share it here. I woke up and saw it on the front page, which is always an interesting little thing that kind of makes my day. I would be really interested in hearing more about your experience in the monastery, if you're willing to share. [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benedict_of_Nursia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benedict_of_Nursia

h2odragon 6y ago

Say on; first hand experience in this is rare. What did you discover you missed most on returning to "the real world"? was a year enough time?

hawktheslayer 6y ago
Ironically I missed the structure that came from the vow of obedience that felt at times like I gave up all my individual freedom. I learned this gave me focus on the thing at hand, whether it was praying, meditating, cooking or cleaning. I still miss the sheer simplicity of that life.
- jkepler 6y ago
  Amazing how form and freedom aren't antithetical, but are actually part and parcel of true liberty.
  - geerlingguy 6y ago
    It's a strange paradox, but one that I've found time and again; 'liberty' to do anything anytime can be much more restrictive than 'freedom' to choose one thing and then move on.
    - Thorentis 6y ago
      It is very saddening to see "modern" and "progressive" thinkers promote the idea of choice and freedom, while condemning those that choose particular lifestyles (monks, housewives, etc). Some of the happiest people in the world are the ones that choose a simple yet rewarding lifestyle. The unhappy ones, as I have invariably found, are those that are never happy with the choices of others.
      - morsch 6y ago
        I don't condemn housewives, I think it's important that care work is recognised as, well, work. I'd say that calling it a simple yet rewarding lifestyle makes it sound a lot less difficult than it is, it comes off as dismissive. Having gotten a taste of both worlds, I can tell you working as a software developer is a lot more simple and, at times, more rewarding. Many people are in a situation where they can't make the choice to exclusively do care work, due to financial constraints, and much of the care work is done by women who also work for money alongside of it. So in a way, being wealthy enough to have one person concentrate on maintaining the house is lucky. At the same time, it's a risky choice, because it leads to financial dependency on the partner, and marriages tend to end.
      - darkwater 6y ago
        A little problem with "housewives" here: many of them didn't choose anything, nor had a voice in choosing their lives. The same applied to monks centuries ago, if you weren't the first born, your destiny would be joining a monk life. But at least that stopped a while ago, while housewives by "force" are still a reality today in many situations.
        fakedang 6y ago
        But are they forced? Ancedotal evidence but the wife of one of my cousins explicitly chose not to work in spite of having the required qualifications as a dentist, simply because she doesn't want to work and just wants to raise her children. Even though they live in an expensive city. Of course, you'd be hard pressed to find such examples these days. On the other hand, I have cousins in marriages where both are forced to work because they live in an expensive city where one person's salary is often not enough to cover living expenses. And as trends go, I think we'll be seeing more of the workers by "force" example in the coming years. Increasingly the trend I've observed within my large extended family and my fiancée's family (different cultures altogether) is that the wives in more affluent families tend to work as either housewives or in less taxing roles where they can still take care of the house, even if they can afford servants and carers, while the less affluent ones are required to have two breadwinners.
        6y ago
    - JackFr 6y ago
      https://youtu.be/GqmsQeSzMdw https://youtu.be/GqmsQeSzMdw Liberties constrain, constraints liberate. The things we can lear from programming language theory!
    - Robin_Message 6y ago
      I like one of the Bene Gesserrit maxims in Frank Herbert's Dune series: Seek freedom and be a slave to your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.
- 50 6y ago
  > I still miss the sheer simplicity of that life. Reminds me of this part of a Thomas Merton audio piece that I just listened to which you might enjoy (~22:50 to ~35:01): https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1370&v=Zr3V-BnENmA&feature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1370&v=Zr3V-BnENmA&feature=y...
- trhway 6y ago
  sounds similar to military.
- elcritch 6y ago
  I've visited a couple of Greek monasteries for a few days each over the years. Even that short time as a layman was very refreshing. Even "mundane" acts were contemplative.

christophilus 6y ago

I spent some time discerning as a Trappist, and now have a family. I’ve found the lack of silence to be the biggest challenge. How is your prayer life as a parent?

galaxyLogic 6y ago
Trappists make great beer right? It is strong beer and gets your head messed up. I've often wondered how such good religious folks would become producers of alcoholic drinks. I assume they didn't drink themselves, doesn't go well with meditation I assume. So are they more like thinking "Let the sinners drink this since they want, and it will pay for the rent of our meditation chambers?"
- christophilus 6y ago
  Catholics have no problem with drinking, so yes. The monks who brew also drink.
- pdw 6y ago
  They follow St Benedict's rule, the rule that OP linked to, but they understand "wine" to refer to alcoholic drinks in general.
- Thorentis 6y ago
  There is no issue with alcohol in Catholicism. Indeed, some during the middle ages would live off beer alone during Lent, when they would abstain from food entirely. It is simply a question of moderation. There are many medevial images of monks drinking. "In Catholicsm, the Pint, the Pipe, and the Cross can all fit together." ~ GK Chesterton.
  - Stratoscope 6y ago
    Indeed, when I was a kid, I learned that when the parish priest stopped by our home, we always offered him a shot of whiskey.
    - 6y ago

afpx 6y ago

I would love to hear about your experiences. Do you have a blog?

simonebrunozzi 6y ago

I'm the poster. I've read the Rule of St. Benedict in Italian, a few years back (I'm from Italy, and specifically from Umbria, the region where St. Benedict was from [0]. Yesterday I saw this on Project Gutenberg and I felt inspired to share it here. I woke up and saw it on the front page, which is always an interesting little thing that kind of makes my day. I would be really interested in hearing more about your experience in the monastery, if you're willing to share. [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benedict_of_Nursia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benedict_of_Nursia