2 ms·

He did not present a dichotomy. He said one is more important than the other, and that is correct. We used to teach our children to "have a thick skin." "Stick

He did not present a dichotomy. He said one is more important than the other, and that is correct. We used to teach our children to "have a thick skin." "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me." When someone took offense we told them to "grow up." Being offended, especially on behalf of someone else, is useless. Teach people not to take offense. They'll be happier.

watwut 6y ago
Buy that saying is lie. It is simply not true. It is just something said to kids when adults don't want to deal with situation. It is good for adults to say that, because then they can continue to watch tv unbothered. Words to affect people and if you don't respond to insult, you will be bullied and insulted more and more. You will not have respect and you will lose ability to influence what is going on with and around you. In addition, men used to hold duels over words, so it was not even historical standards. > When someone took offense we told them to "grow up." Yes, some adults were enabling bullies like that. Especially if they themselves did not like the target. But it still was exactly that - enabling. Just letting it go or being submissive is not functional strategy to deal with these issues.
grahamburger 6y ago
We also teach children (still, I hope?) to not say anything if you don't have anything nice to say, and to walk a mile in someone's shoes before judging them, and to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So yes, teach people not to take offense, and also teach people not to be offensive. Being offended on someone else behalf helped us get rid of slavery, helped end the holocaust, gave us many of our social programs that support the poor - it's not wrong to see injustice and call it out, even if it's not happening to you.
JohnBooty 6y ago
Teach people not to take offense. They'll be happier. Nonsense. Again, not a dichotomy. You can have "thick skin", a strong sense of self, not easily be harmed by others' words and not be an asshole.
- happytoexplain 6y ago
  Yes - this notion is the actual thing that is becoming lost to many in our culture over time. People constantly excuse each other for being pointless assholes by lamenting that the 3rd party is just too sensitive, which can certainly be true, but usually the 3rd party is just reacting like any emotionally normal person, and may or may not have "thick skin", which is an independent quality.

watwut 6y ago

Buy that saying is lie. It is simply not true. It is just something said to kids when adults don't want to deal with situation. It is good for adults to say that, because then they can continue to watch tv unbothered. Words to affect people and if you don't respond to insult, you will be bullied and insulted more and more. You will not have respect and you will lose ability to influence what is going on with and around you. In addition, men used to hold duels over words, so it was not even historical standards. > When someone took offense we told them to "grow up." Yes, some adults were enabling bullies like that. Especially if they themselves did not like the target. But it still was exactly that - enabling. Just letting it go or being submissive is not functional strategy to deal with these issues.

grahamburger 6y ago

We also teach children (still, I hope?) to not say anything if you don't have anything nice to say, and to walk a mile in someone's shoes before judging them, and to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So yes, teach people not to take offense, and also teach people not to be offensive. Being offended on someone else behalf helped us get rid of slavery, helped end the holocaust, gave us many of our social programs that support the poor - it's not wrong to see injustice and call it out, even if it's not happening to you.

JohnBooty 6y ago

Teach people not to take offense. They'll be happier. Nonsense. Again, not a dichotomy. You can have "thick skin", a strong sense of self, not easily be harmed by others' words and not be an asshole.

happytoexplain 6y ago
Yes - this notion is the actual thing that is becoming lost to many in our culture over time. People constantly excuse each other for being pointless assholes by lamenting that the 3rd party is just too sensitive, which can certainly be true, but usually the 3rd party is just reacting like any emotionally normal person, and may or may not have "thick skin", which is an independent quality.