3 ms·

I have a habit of slogging through difficult patches that has, for the most part and with only perhaps two notable exceptions, served me well. However, I want t

I have a habit of slogging through difficult patches that has, for the most part and with only perhaps two notable exceptions, served me well. However, I want to tell the story of one of these exceptions as a counterpoint to other comments here. A few years ago I started a job where, within the first week or two, I had serious enough doubts about whether or not it was going to work that I spoke to my manager and said that I wanted to leave (even though I had nothing else lined up). He was really good about it and after we talked I decided to make more of a go of it, but it was the wrong decision and I've always regretted it. In the end I stayed for 8 months and was miserable and frustrated for the entire time. This was, I think, a contributory factor (though by no means the only factor) to the breakup of a relationship that I valued very deeply, and that I have also always regretted the end of. The end of that relationship was really the final straw: the moment I realised I needed to bail, and that I should have bailed long before. I still I didn't have anything definite lined up, although I did have three options on the table. In the end I chose one of them and started after taking a month off to recover. Even had I left at the beginning, I don't think I'd have struggled for work though. Every situation is different, and staying is not always the right thing to do especially not - as was the case in my situation - where the cultural and ways of working gulf is so large. I have no awkward explaining to do about my CV but there are sometimes more important concerns in life. (I've omitted a lot of specifics because I don't want to name either the organisation involved, or impugn the people either - many of them were great. There was certainly nothing unpleasant going on of the sort we've seen discussed a few times recently on HN. It was simply a case of an unresolvable culture clash. The commute was also a horrible slog - anything between 60 and 90 minutes each way even on a motorcycle, and I hadn't realised how exhausting that amount of riding every day would be.)

gautamdivgi 6y ago
About the commute. If you have a 45 minute commute which is allegedly "normal". It's an hour and a half. I would add another hour to that to make that a true door-to-door figure, i.e. from the time you decide to get ready (past breakfast/morning coffee) to when you're actually productive at your desk. Same in the evening from the time you shut work to when you're back home. If you sleep 7 hours a day, you have 21 waking hours. You're spending 15% of your time (2.5 hours) on a commute. That in my opinion is a lot of waste. My point being most people seriously underestimate the cost of the commute. It's almost like saying you have to work at least 2.5 more hours a day but you won't be paid for it.
- bartread 6y ago
  > It's almost like saying you have to work at least 2.5 more hours a day but you won't be paid for it. Exactly this. The way it worked for me is that on the way in just the ride itself would be 70 - 80 minutes, and then on the way home it would be anything between 90 and 115 minutes. The longer duration on the way home was firstly because the traffic was generally worse, and secondly because I'd always have to stop for fuel. My tank range was 160 - 180 miles, and I was doing around 115 for the round trip. In theory I could alternate fuel stops between morning and evening, stopping on every third trip, but I never like to run the tank that low in case - for whatever reason - something happens that means I need more fuel. The net result was between 2h40 and 3h05m of travel time every single day. And that's with filtering through traffic. If I weren't doing that you could probably add another 30 - 45 minutes on to both trips, which would mean spending up to 4h35m commuting. That's on top of 8 hours in the office. Riding a motorcycle is much more tiring than driving a car. Partly this is because it is more physical, and you are of course exposed to the elements so your body will be burning more energy to stay warm even wearing proper winter gear, but also because you have to concentrate a lot more and be a lot more aware of your surroundings because you're so much more vulnerable. That amounts to an 11 hour day where you're "on" - i.e., basically working. You're probably more "on" during the commute than you are in the office because, believe me, you cannot afford for your attention to waver for a second. This in itself suggests the commute is too damn dangerous and you probably shouldn't be doing it. A couple of minor incidents, and one that was more serious where somebody drove into the side of me, brought this starkly into focus, and also contributed to me moving on.

gautamdivgi 6y ago

About the commute. If you have a 45 minute commute which is allegedly "normal". It's an hour and a half. I would add another hour to that to make that a true door-to-door figure, i.e. from the time you decide to get ready (past breakfast/morning coffee) to when you're actually productive at your desk. Same in the evening from the time you shut work to when you're back home. If you sleep 7 hours a day, you have 21 waking hours. You're spending 15% of your time (2.5 hours) on a commute. That in my opinion is a lot of waste. My point being most people seriously underestimate the cost of the commute. It's almost like saying you have to work at least 2.5 more hours a day but you won't be paid for it.

bartread 6y ago
> It's almost like saying you have to work at least 2.5 more hours a day but you won't be paid for it. Exactly this. The way it worked for me is that on the way in just the ride itself would be 70 - 80 minutes, and then on the way home it would be anything between 90 and 115 minutes. The longer duration on the way home was firstly because the traffic was generally worse, and secondly because I'd always have to stop for fuel. My tank range was 160 - 180 miles, and I was doing around 115 for the round trip. In theory I could alternate fuel stops between morning and evening, stopping on every third trip, but I never like to run the tank that low in case - for whatever reason - something happens that means I need more fuel. The net result was between 2h40 and 3h05m of travel time every single day. And that's with filtering through traffic. If I weren't doing that you could probably add another 30 - 45 minutes on to both trips, which would mean spending up to 4h35m commuting. That's on top of 8 hours in the office. Riding a motorcycle is much more tiring than driving a car. Partly this is because it is more physical, and you are of course exposed to the elements so your body will be burning more energy to stay warm even wearing proper winter gear, but also because you have to concentrate a lot more and be a lot more aware of your surroundings because you're so much more vulnerable. That amounts to an 11 hour day where you're "on" - i.e., basically working. You're probably more "on" during the commute than you are in the office because, believe me, you cannot afford for your attention to waver for a second. This in itself suggests the commute is too damn dangerous and you probably shouldn't be doing it. A couple of minor incidents, and one that was more serious where somebody drove into the side of me, brought this starkly into focus, and also contributed to me moving on.