3 ms·

Playing with my kids. I mean that seriously, but in the spirit of the question I would (and am, since I’m in this position) still working part-time on labors o

Playing with my kids. I mean that seriously, but in the spirit of the question I would (and am, since I’m in this position) still working part-time on labors of love, and going back to school for my PhD.

GianFabien 6y ago
Once you commit to your PhD work, you won't have time to play with your kids. Believe me, I've gone down that path. It was an 8 year journey with lots and lots of roadblocks, challenges, mental and physical health issues, etc. For your own and your family's sake, read up (a lot) about other people's experiences with a PhD. It almost never is plain sailing, no matter how optimistic you are about it at the outset.
- garmaine 6y ago
  There’s a part-time PhD program I am looking at which would take a little longer but not compromise work/life balance. Lucky that it just happens to be the program I’m interested in anyway. My kids are in school from 9am-3pm every day anyway (or at least will be again when the pandemic is over), so I look at that as my work time anyway. Time outside of those bounds is sacred though.
  - GianFabien 6y ago
    I can relate to your optimistic view. I was there once. By all means do the PhD if it is in an area that you are passionate about. You should remember that getting tenure is extremely difficult, so a career in academia is a very long shot. Like many others, I have found that having a PhD has had a negative impact upon my career. So if you do decide to go ahead. Agree with your partner under what circumstances you will unconditionally abandon the programme. Without that you run the risk of falling into the sunk cost fallacy. A part-time PhD will easily take 10 years of your life. Your kids might be graduating from high school and daddy is still in school! You might want to take a look at: http://phdcomics.com http://phdcomics.com - it is truer to life than it might appear.
    - garmaine 6y ago
      I am not working towards tenure or any kind of academic career. It’s just something I want to do, and my partner is supportive. Thanks for your concern though!
      - GianFabien 6y ago
        Thanks for engaging in the dialogue. With the clarifications you have given, I empathise even more with where you are coming from. Yes, in your specific circumstances the P/T PhD does look appealing and achievable. I made the mistake thinking that a F/T PhD was doable with some P/T consulting on the side. It wasn't. The expectation and requirement to have several papers accepted and published was probably the biggest challenge. Wishing you lots of success and enlightening research.
        garmaine 6y ago
        Thanks, same to you!
    - garmaine 6y ago
      Edit window has elapsed on my other comment, sibling to this, so I'll add to it here. I've been through a very tough, life-consuming job before. I founded and ran a startup that would take nearly $200m in funding and grow to around 80 employees. During the ~5 years I was involved in that my kids were born, bought and maintained a house, and other such life epochs were passed. It was insane... working 80 hour weeks, traveling every other week, and working equally long hours when away, always feeling like I wasn't doing enough. I only realized how messed up this was when I was packing to leave again, and my 4yo asked "Why is Daddy leaving? Does he not like me?" On the plus side, being a startup founder is why I'm now financially independent. But I wouldn't want to put my family through that again. So I've heard that getting a PhD can be a brutal experience... but I wonder how bad it is in comparison to the hustle of a startup. Still I imagine that it is a different kind of work and will take some getting adjusted to. And it is usually not something that can be restricted to the usual 9-5. So that's part of why I'm looking at doing a "part-time" PhD program, although I won't actually be doing another job on the side.

GianFabien 6y ago

Once you commit to your PhD work, you won't have time to play with your kids. Believe me, I've gone down that path. It was an 8 year journey with lots and lots of roadblocks, challenges, mental and physical health issues, etc. For your own and your family's sake, read up (a lot) about other people's experiences with a PhD. It almost never is plain sailing, no matter how optimistic you are about it at the outset.

garmaine 6y ago
There’s a part-time PhD program I am looking at which would take a little longer but not compromise work/life balance. Lucky that it just happens to be the program I’m interested in anyway. My kids are in school from 9am-3pm every day anyway (or at least will be again when the pandemic is over), so I look at that as my work time anyway. Time outside of those bounds is sacred though.
- GianFabien 6y ago
  I can relate to your optimistic view. I was there once. By all means do the PhD if it is in an area that you are passionate about. You should remember that getting tenure is extremely difficult, so a career in academia is a very long shot. Like many others, I have found that having a PhD has had a negative impact upon my career. So if you do decide to go ahead. Agree with your partner under what circumstances you will unconditionally abandon the programme. Without that you run the risk of falling into the sunk cost fallacy. A part-time PhD will easily take 10 years of your life. Your kids might be graduating from high school and daddy is still in school! You might want to take a look at: http://phdcomics.com http://phdcomics.com - it is truer to life than it might appear.
  - garmaine 6y ago
    I am not working towards tenure or any kind of academic career. It’s just something I want to do, and my partner is supportive. Thanks for your concern though!
    - GianFabien 6y ago
      Thanks for engaging in the dialogue. With the clarifications you have given, I empathise even more with where you are coming from. Yes, in your specific circumstances the P/T PhD does look appealing and achievable. I made the mistake thinking that a F/T PhD was doable with some P/T consulting on the side. It wasn't. The expectation and requirement to have several papers accepted and published was probably the biggest challenge. Wishing you lots of success and enlightening research.
      - garmaine 6y ago
        Thanks, same to you!
  - garmaine 6y ago
    Edit window has elapsed on my other comment, sibling to this, so I'll add to it here. I've been through a very tough, life-consuming job before. I founded and ran a startup that would take nearly $200m in funding and grow to around 80 employees. During the ~5 years I was involved in that my kids were born, bought and maintained a house, and other such life epochs were passed. It was insane... working 80 hour weeks, traveling every other week, and working equally long hours when away, always feeling like I wasn't doing enough. I only realized how messed up this was when I was packing to leave again, and my 4yo asked "Why is Daddy leaving? Does he not like me?" On the plus side, being a startup founder is why I'm now financially independent. But I wouldn't want to put my family through that again. So I've heard that getting a PhD can be a brutal experience... but I wonder how bad it is in comparison to the hustle of a startup. Still I imagine that it is a different kind of work and will take some getting adjusted to. And it is usually not something that can be restricted to the usual 9-5. So that's part of why I'm looking at doing a "part-time" PhD program, although I won't actually be doing another job on the side.