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No, that's exactly it. At the beginning of course I thought it was bad hiring decisions, but after a while it became clear that this is "haunting me", and the o

No, that's exactly it. At the beginning of course I thought it was bad hiring decisions, but after a while it became clear that this is "haunting me", and the only conclusion I can draw is that it has something to do with me. Which is when I started really to experiment with various strategies, none of which worked (probably because I can't run away from myself.) It is a bit sad, since I was quite successful in building networks, outside of my own companies: I am surrounded by a lot of entrepreneur-type people which I consider my friends, I have friendly investors lined up to support my product ideas. And I have at least 20 more "good ideas" that could be worth pursuing, but I am very reluctant to do so. So, two years ago, I extracted myself from everything. I've read what must now be at least two dozen "therapy books", started therapy with external professionals, but it doesn't feel like anything is bringing me closer to "the problem". I've always tried to establish an open culture, flat hierarchies, openly talking about things. But I became careful about it too, since I don't want to push stuff on others if they don't see the need. If it is always only me that wants to talk about such things, and rarely anyone else has anything to say, everybody is just waiting for me to "declare" how to do things, what the priorities should be... In all these years, I can remember only a couple of situations where anyone suggested to do something different from what I suggested. Yes, very likely I am "not a good leader". I recognize this. I don't want to be. I "just" want to have teams where you do stuff together, because it is fun, because it has a purpose, because it makes money, whatever. It works a lot better in situations where everyone has their own agenda and is not hired by "my company". What I always hoped for is to end up with a "real co-founder", but that never happened. I have lots of "co-founder friends", but of course we are all passionate about our own ideas... so lately I've been thinking, I should finally join some existing effort, instead of trying again and again to get my own efforts off the ground.

jkcorrea 6y ago
> Yes, very likely I am "not a good leader". I recognize this. I don't want to be. I "just" want to have teams where you do stuff together, because it is fun, because it has a purpose, because it makes money, whatever. It works a lot better in situations where everyone has their own agenda and is not hired by "my company". Ironically, this is the way the leaders I most admire also talk. Maybe you're putting to much emphasis and pressure on yourself, maybe your employees really did want to belong to "your company" and be on the same agenda as you but that was too stressful a burden to bare? Either way, after 5 lead roles for yourself, taking a supporting cast role sounds like a good idea with little risk, if you hate it well at least you'll know for sure
existencebox 6y ago
I realize this is unsolicited, so I will feel no insult if you don't desire to respond, you've just got me very interested from a "management case study" perspective; so at the risk of a very naive question: Do you have a good understanding re: what your folks are unhappy _about_? Like very specifically, do they feel overworked? Is there reliably political drama in the office? Is it a pay issue? I mention these not to suggest but give examples of how bluntly I mean. Problem here, is that it may be hard for you, given the power dynamic, to get that answer, but as an engineer, I can say it was always _pretty well known_ to the boots on the ground what was making the team unhappy. (and what was fascinating, and why I make this comment, is that it always seemed to run into a real bottleneck percolating up into management) If you've already gone down this route, then again, ignore me entirely, but if you've not, or if you doubt the veracity of the message you got, I wonder if you can get a "spy in the ranks." I don't mean this in a negative way, but an engineer who for whatever reason (Naivete? self-sacrifice? I use these somewhat snide terms largely because I'm somewhat tongue-in-cheek referring to my past self) is willing to go against otherwise better judgement and be truly open with management about the situation (in that sometimes, management _may_ be the problem, and no one wants to fall on that sword), and who has enough trust with their peers to understand what's going down with them as well. This can be hard to find, and isn't always present; but to summarize this ramble: I would emphasize attacking the root of the problem in a very personal fashion, but that to do so requires having (or building) some conduit of trust and rapport; and I wonder if you've run into roadblocks trying to apply this.
- jkcorrea 6y ago
  Would having a "spy in the ranks" not further undermine the trust between founder and employees? Wouldn't it be ideal to lead by example and encourage a culture of open sharing over eavesdropping? I get that there will always be some power dynamic between manager/managee, but I felt encouraged enough with my previous manager's and skips to be open and direct about problems if there were some. That's probably an exception not the rule, though. Having not been in management whatsoever, I'm asking purely out of curiosity
  - existencebox 6y ago
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
javierluraschi 6y ago
If you are interested, I'd be more than happy to chat realtime, you can find me in twitter with my username or jluraschi at gmail. I have a passion for building great work environments, but have seen it over-and-over that at some point, something gets dysfunctional, usually caused by the best intentions and the best decisions which is quite frustrating. I'm starting my own project which might turn into a company, so would love to hear yours perspective, if anything, just to learn form your past experiences. Random thought which is likely to be incorrect from lack of information; I also wonder, could it be possible that you are actually building great teams but your expectations are too high? No company is perfect, so your expectations on what company-growth should look like might not match reality, I myself I'm trying to figure out why culture changes as companies grows. Dunbar's number perhaps?

jkcorrea 6y ago

> Yes, very likely I am "not a good leader". I recognize this. I don't want to be. I "just" want to have teams where you do stuff together, because it is fun, because it has a purpose, because it makes money, whatever. It works a lot better in situations where everyone has their own agenda and is not hired by "my company". Ironically, this is the way the leaders I most admire also talk. Maybe you're putting to much emphasis and pressure on yourself, maybe your employees really did want to belong to "your company" and be on the same agenda as you but that was too stressful a burden to bare? Either way, after 5 lead roles for yourself, taking a supporting cast role sounds like a good idea with little risk, if you hate it well at least you'll know for sure

existencebox 6y ago

I realize this is unsolicited, so I will feel no insult if you don't desire to respond, you've just got me very interested from a "management case study" perspective; so at the risk of a very naive question: Do you have a good understanding re: what your folks are unhappy _about_? Like very specifically, do they feel overworked? Is there reliably political drama in the office? Is it a pay issue? I mention these not to suggest but give examples of how bluntly I mean. Problem here, is that it may be hard for you, given the power dynamic, to get that answer, but as an engineer, I can say it was always _pretty well known_ to the boots on the ground what was making the team unhappy. (and what was fascinating, and why I make this comment, is that it always seemed to run into a real bottleneck percolating up into management) If you've already gone down this route, then again, ignore me entirely, but if you've not, or if you doubt the veracity of the message you got, I wonder if you can get a "spy in the ranks." I don't mean this in a negative way, but an engineer who for whatever reason (Naivete? self-sacrifice? I use these somewhat snide terms largely because I'm somewhat tongue-in-cheek referring to my past self) is willing to go against otherwise better judgement and be truly open with management about the situation (in that sometimes, management _may_ be the problem, and no one wants to fall on that sword), and who has enough trust with their peers to understand what's going down with them as well. This can be hard to find, and isn't always present; but to summarize this ramble: I would emphasize attacking the root of the problem in a very personal fashion, but that to do so requires having (or building) some conduit of trust and rapport; and I wonder if you've run into roadblocks trying to apply this.

jkcorrea 6y ago
Would having a "spy in the ranks" not further undermine the trust between founder and employees? Wouldn't it be ideal to lead by example and encourage a culture of open sharing over eavesdropping? I get that there will always be some power dynamic between manager/managee, but I felt encouraged enough with my previous manager's and skips to be open and direct about problems if there were some. That's probably an exception not the rule, though. Having not been in management whatsoever, I'm asking purely out of curiosity
- existencebox 6y ago

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

javierluraschi 6y ago

If you are interested, I'd be more than happy to chat realtime, you can find me in twitter with my username or jluraschi at gmail. I have a passion for building great work environments, but have seen it over-and-over that at some point, something gets dysfunctional, usually caused by the best intentions and the best decisions which is quite frustrating. I'm starting my own project which might turn into a company, so would love to hear yours perspective, if anything, just to learn form your past experiences. Random thought which is likely to be incorrect from lack of information; I also wonder, could it be possible that you are actually building great teams but your expectations are too high? No company is perfect, so your expectations on what company-growth should look like might not match reality, I myself I'm trying to figure out why culture changes as companies grows. Dunbar's number perhaps?