Because that's exactly what you're saying. It's abusive because you're not in control. When you say there is something the victim can do to stop the abuse you'r

Because that's exactly what you're saying. It's abusive because you're not in control. When you say there is something the victim can do to stop the abuse you're saying they're in control therefore it's not abusive. It's not abuse if you can say, "no" and it stops.