> I think people in many white collar jobs highly underestimate their ability to set boundaries and make their work/life balance healthier. This is something t

> I think people in many white collar jobs highly underestimate their ability to set boundaries and make their work/life balance healthier. This is something that took me 1.5-2 decades to figure out. My first "worst project" was around 2007 and it was hell. It cost me a lot (health, it became a large factor in losing a good relationship). I couldn't see the forest from the trees. I couldn't say no to the sleazy sales manager who would ignore me all week only to become my best friend for a 60 second conversation every Thursday: "Maaaate! Can you work Saturday?" The wounds were very expensive but after some time to heal became something to laugh at, lightly. When someone in a room full of developers at 9 PM snaps and says, "This is the worst project I've ever been on!" half the room will immediately agree, only for the the other half to grin politely and disagree. "Really?!" At best sharing these stories can be a bonding exercise. Some of the anecdotes are now quite funny jokes. Then a decade past my worst ever project and it was happening all over again! Only this time I was cognisant of the machinations around me. While being older might mean more capable, it also means we can't do the same long hours any more. The absolute worst thing was I saw it coming. I gave my manager (who had all the authority) unambiguous advice to avoid this project. After it went bad they needed me. I said no, but then they weren't asking and suddenly I was involved. Deeply. Drinking after work was no longer 2 beers on a Friday, but 2-4 every day at our desks (but after 8 PM when the place was mostly abandoned). Other negatives I was putting up with for the $$$ also broke the threshold (mostly the insane daily travel, but the place was generally a crap client site all round). I'd work hard to the deadline then be done with it. January became February, March, then April. I was burnt out. I quit before it was done and became the bad guy. I didn't care. I never wanted to see any of these clowns ever again. I went overseas for a year without working. Didn't work for another year after returning, and very casually waited for the right, quite different, role to come through my jokingly tiny social network.