> absolutely not true Only the Sith deal in absolutes. > I feel obstructive amounts of shame, but I fought that and asked for a lower rent on my lease, and I

> absolutely not true Only the Sith deal in absolutes. > I feel obstructive amounts of shame, but I fought that and asked for a lower rent on my lease, and I got it. Genuinely: congrats. Self-advocation is extremely rewarding, and something that I personally love to see in others. > But I am not going to cut in line at the grocery store even though, according to you, my feeling shame in that case is just stopping me from doing what I want. If someone has a genuine need to cut in line and demonstrates that to the people they are cutting in line, I don't see any issue here. I would take no issue being cut in line, in this situation and just think, "They've got somewhere important to be". But still, if they did it dickishly, I wouldn't shame them. I might confront them, or just...cut back. But for me to shame them, is such a drain of my energy... And whether they feel shame for an action on their own, is beyond what I care to spend my time thinking about. I'm not their mom.