I think people form stronger ethical boundaries when it is self-motivated - i.e. your 4 year old learns how to be sincerely empathetic because you allowed them

I think people form stronger ethical boundaries when it is self-motivated - i.e. your 4 year old learns how to be sincerely empathetic because you allowed them to deal with the emotions from rough play, rather than forcing them to play nicely. I used to teach kids for many years, and I noticed the "helicopter parents" tended to have more mischievous children, presumably because these kids rarely feel intrinsically motivated to do anything (it's always coming from the parents).