Frank self-expression -- what a lot of people think they mean by honesty -- isn't a virtue. One can be frankly horrible as easily as one can be forthright. Wh

Frank self-expression -- what a lot of people think they mean by honesty -- isn't a virtue. One can be frankly horrible as easily as one can be forthright. What most people actually value is probably better referred to by terms like "fidelity" or even "trust." We care most how accurate and forthcoming people's statements are when we're putting together agreements on how to behave and cooperate. On some occasions (like, say, court proceedings) we need to gather a picture of reality and we ask people for fidelity as witnesses. None of these situations are about frank self-expression. FSE does matter in some situations, usually involving personal relationships, though even there most people eventually learn that has its limits too. For example, unless you have an unusual relationship with your SO, you might be cautious about frankly expressing any passing attraction you have to other people. Most people should be cautious about FSE. And that caution, as it turns out, is a productive systemic warning. You have in your head a model of other people. It's not perfectly accurate any more than your probably not particularly well-formed opinions are, but both may have some merit, and the former tells you something about the problems of the latter that you should probably listen to. There are people who don't have to listen to that as much. You can probably think of examples you've observed. They seem to have certain privileges in certain contexts relative to you which enable them to get away with behavior you find distasteful or even wrong. It's likely enough that could be you with only minimal social checks on FSE. If "afraid to express yourself honestly" means "fear of violent retribution", it's possible things have gone off the rails. If "afraid to express yourself honestly" means "I feel like there might be consequences to my social standing if I frankly express my thoughts and feelings without polite moderation", then it might be that what you value is the privilege of indulgent expression without challenge.