4 ms·

It's important to realize, all you non-child-having people out there, that before you actually have a child, there is no freaking way you can estimate the amoun

by Vivtek 15y ago

It's important to realize, all you non-child-having people out there, that before you actually have a child, there is no freaking way you can estimate the amount of time and dedication an infant will require of you. Honestly, I would hesitate to start a startup with anyone about to have their first child, man or woman, because they cannot possibly know what a cratering impact it is going to have on every aspect of their lives. Now, a woman who is already at home with her children and has a couple of years of experience with it, her I'd trust to juggle. But starting a startup is already a gigantic change in lifestyle, and so is child care. Starting both at once is probably not a good idea. My own two bits as work-at-home father of two.

HedgeMage 15y ago
This is definitely the most sensible response so far. I was the mom who coded while breastfeeding and had her son at his first LUG meeting before he was two months old. Being a mom and being a hacker have always melded pretty well for me, despite the fact that I'm now a single mom: my now-8yo likes tech conferences and has even spoken at one, he comes home from school and does his homework in my office while I do my work, he's even made dinner on one or two evenings when I was really swamped (okay, it was chicken nuggets and macaroni or reheated leftovers -- but I didn't have to cook it!). He's my mini-hacker, and he says he wants to grow up to be an inventor. I highly doubt I'd have pulled all that off if I were like a "normal" first-time mom. Luckily, I grew up in the sort of family where older cousins look after younger cousins -- as a teen I even moved in with relatives to be nanny to their kids for a while when their work schedules had them away from home too much. Juggling a start-up and a young child is quite possible, but it helps to have some experience under your belt, and to include your kid in your working life a bit. Instead of having two lives competing for your energy, you get a kid who understands what you are doing and why, and feels part of it rather than left out.
richcollins 15y ago
I get more done now that I have a child. Parenthood forces you focus on actually productive work and eliminate everything else.
- Vivtek 15y ago
  Well, OK, that is true. When our first was born, we both started grad school, so DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO! I used to laugh at how much we got done in comparison with the childless people we were going to school with, and doing a cognitive science study on my daughter's acquisition of motor skills was also informative. I still wouldn't want to bet on that...
martinkallstrom 15y ago
I started my first company, a web consultancy firm, seven years ago. I also have a daughter who is seven years old, Linn. I started out of my home office, which allowed me to spend time with my family while being at work. It was great but became stressful after 6-12 months because I felt I was at work all the time except when I left my home. I then moved into a proper office. I started my second company five years ago. I also have a second daughter who is five years old, Julia. This company was a much more serious venture. I was appointed CEO, we were four founders and raised 1M€. We all worked long hours and had a great time from the start. Now we are ten employees and I'm still the CEO. Here are the immediate effects I have seen from starting a new company simultaneously with getting a kid, twice: - You focus on the business model and sales, sales, sales rather than just cool tech, which is beneficial for everybody involved. However, there is always room for cool tech as well. - You have to push yourself to get to work, and do good stuff everyday. Because your family depends on it. You don't settle for mediocrity. - You get a counter-balance that keeps you in check. Especially when you are successful with doing something fun it is very easy to burn out. Out of four founders, two of us have kids while the other two didn't at the time. I'm sorry to say that those two burned out and left the company, while me and my other child-bearing co-founder remained. - You raise kids that get an entrepreneurial outlook on life. They think it is natural to have your own company, to be the boss of your own life. - If you are blessed with healthy kids, having them is hardest work in the beginning. Everything gets easier and easier from day one. At least so far. All in all, I don't regret for a second my choices the past years. Because what are the alternatives? Not having these awesome kids that now rock my world? Not having started these awesome companies that have defined a lot of who I am today? No way. If you get the opportunity to start a family with someone you love and who supports you, don't hesitate for a second. If you get the opportunity to start a company with people you'd love to work with, don't hesitate for a second. If those two happen to you at the same time? Wow, you are truly blessed with good fortune! Go kick some major ass!
- junklight 15y ago
  We started our company just after the birth of my second child and then my daughter was born as we were in the early days. We are pretty much self funded (we've had some seed funding but not a lot) and it's been a long hard slog but all that work is now paying off. I have to agree strongly with: "You have to push yourself to get to work, and do good stuff everyday. Because your family depends on it. You don't settle for mediocrity. - You get a counter-balance that keeps you in check. Especially when you are successful with doing something fun it is very easy to burn out. " and "You raise kids that get an entrepreneurial outlook on life. They think it is natural to have your own company, to be the boss of your own life" made me smile. My daughter, now 5, was trying to sell me her drawings the other day. My children are my counterbalance and my drive - there is nothing better than kicking back and talking nonsense with them or getting involved in their stuff. There is nothing more important than making sure they are fed and have a secure future (in which to make their own choices) I noticed in a recent interview that when Tony Blair was the british PM his wife expected him to get up in the night to feed the baby still. One of my girlfriends relatives says "if you want something doing ask a busy person." and I reckon that is spot on
Tyrannosaurs 15y ago
Yep, as a rough estimate children take all of your time and for the first few months at least it's 24 x 7 because it takes a while to get sleeping sorted. I've got a four week old daughter at home (and another two year old daughter) and on top of my regular (non-demanding) working day, commute and all the stuff around the house, last night I managed to skim read about two thirds of a graphic novel (while feeding my youngest). That was the sum total of my achievements above and beyond the basics.
bad_user 15y ago
The first few months are hard, it gets a lot easier afterwards. Right now I'm only enjoying the better parts of being a dad - as our mother-in-law is staying with us and helping my wife a lot with taking care of it. Besides routine chores around the house and taking my kid for long walks in the park (which I greatly enjoy), I don't have much to worry about and can concentrate on my work. Besides the extra responsibilities, you know what else a child gives you? Strength and the motivation to carry on. Nothing motivates you better when you're at your lowest.
- Vivtek 15y ago
  I dunno, I'm at 200 months and counting. (I kid, I kid, especially if she's reading this.)

by Vivtek 15y ago

HedgeMage 15y ago

This is definitely the most sensible response so far. I was the mom who coded while breastfeeding and had her son at his first LUG meeting before he was two months old. Being a mom and being a hacker have always melded pretty well for me, despite the fact that I'm now a single mom: my now-8yo likes tech conferences and has even spoken at one, he comes home from school and does his homework in my office while I do my work, he's even made dinner on one or two evenings when I was really swamped (okay, it was chicken nuggets and macaroni or reheated leftovers -- but I didn't have to cook it!). He's my mini-hacker, and he says he wants to grow up to be an inventor. I highly doubt I'd have pulled all that off if I were like a "normal" first-time mom. Luckily, I grew up in the sort of family where older cousins look after younger cousins -- as a teen I even moved in with relatives to be nanny to their kids for a while when their work schedules had them away from home too much. Juggling a start-up and a young child is quite possible, but it helps to have some experience under your belt, and to include your kid in your working life a bit. Instead of having two lives competing for your energy, you get a kid who understands what you are doing and why, and feels part of it rather than left out.

richcollins 15y ago

I get more done now that I have a child. Parenthood forces you focus on actually productive work and eliminate everything else.

Vivtek 15y ago
Well, OK, that is true. When our first was born, we both started grad school, so DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO! I used to laugh at how much we got done in comparison with the childless people we were going to school with, and doing a cognitive science study on my daughter's acquisition of motor skills was also informative. I still wouldn't want to bet on that...

martinkallstrom 15y ago

I started my first company, a web consultancy firm, seven years ago. I also have a daughter who is seven years old, Linn. I started out of my home office, which allowed me to spend time with my family while being at work. It was great but became stressful after 6-12 months because I felt I was at work all the time except when I left my home. I then moved into a proper office. I started my second company five years ago. I also have a second daughter who is five years old, Julia. This company was a much more serious venture. I was appointed CEO, we were four founders and raised 1M€. We all worked long hours and had a great time from the start. Now we are ten employees and I'm still the CEO. Here are the immediate effects I have seen from starting a new company simultaneously with getting a kid, twice: - You focus on the business model and sales, sales, sales rather than just cool tech, which is beneficial for everybody involved. However, there is always room for cool tech as well. - You have to push yourself to get to work, and do good stuff everyday. Because your family depends on it. You don't settle for mediocrity. - You get a counter-balance that keeps you in check. Especially when you are successful with doing something fun it is very easy to burn out. Out of four founders, two of us have kids while the other two didn't at the time. I'm sorry to say that those two burned out and left the company, while me and my other child-bearing co-founder remained. - You raise kids that get an entrepreneurial outlook on life. They think it is natural to have your own company, to be the boss of your own life. - If you are blessed with healthy kids, having them is hardest work in the beginning. Everything gets easier and easier from day one. At least so far. All in all, I don't regret for a second my choices the past years. Because what are the alternatives? Not having these awesome kids that now rock my world? Not having started these awesome companies that have defined a lot of who I am today? No way. If you get the opportunity to start a family with someone you love and who supports you, don't hesitate for a second. If you get the opportunity to start a company with people you'd love to work with, don't hesitate for a second. If those two happen to you at the same time? Wow, you are truly blessed with good fortune! Go kick some major ass!

junklight 15y ago
We started our company just after the birth of my second child and then my daughter was born as we were in the early days. We are pretty much self funded (we've had some seed funding but not a lot) and it's been a long hard slog but all that work is now paying off. I have to agree strongly with: "You have to push yourself to get to work, and do good stuff everyday. Because your family depends on it. You don't settle for mediocrity. - You get a counter-balance that keeps you in check. Especially when you are successful with doing something fun it is very easy to burn out. " and "You raise kids that get an entrepreneurial outlook on life. They think it is natural to have your own company, to be the boss of your own life" made me smile. My daughter, now 5, was trying to sell me her drawings the other day. My children are my counterbalance and my drive - there is nothing better than kicking back and talking nonsense with them or getting involved in their stuff. There is nothing more important than making sure they are fed and have a secure future (in which to make their own choices) I noticed in a recent interview that when Tony Blair was the british PM his wife expected him to get up in the night to feed the baby still. One of my girlfriends relatives says "if you want something doing ask a busy person." and I reckon that is spot on

Tyrannosaurs 15y ago

Yep, as a rough estimate children take all of your time and for the first few months at least it's 24 x 7 because it takes a while to get sleeping sorted. I've got a four week old daughter at home (and another two year old daughter) and on top of my regular (non-demanding) working day, commute and all the stuff around the house, last night I managed to skim read about two thirds of a graphic novel (while feeding my youngest). That was the sum total of my achievements above and beyond the basics.

bad_user 15y ago

The first few months are hard, it gets a lot easier afterwards. Right now I'm only enjoying the better parts of being a dad - as our mother-in-law is staying with us and helping my wife a lot with taking care of it. Besides routine chores around the house and taking my kid for long walks in the park (which I greatly enjoy), I don't have much to worry about and can concentrate on my work. Besides the extra responsibilities, you know what else a child gives you? Strength and the motivation to carry on. Nothing motivates you better when you're at your lowest.

Vivtek 15y ago
I dunno, I'm at 200 months and counting. (I kid, I kid, especially if she's reading this.)