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I disagree with this mindset. Humans are a social species and require some sort of interaction to thrive. Perpetuating this idea of going at it alone is a probl

I disagree with this mindset. Humans are a social species and require some sort of interaction to thrive. Perpetuating this idea of going at it alone is a problem in modern society imo. This is coming from a pretty extreme introvert.

underseacables 6y ago
I reason that filling loneliness should not be the primary focus of a relationship. If you’re lonely, you’re making decisions because you’re lonely. However if you’re not lonely - meaning you’ve found happiness in being alone - then you would seem to be more free to choose partners based on other things than filling your loneliness. I guess in short, loneliness seems to be a really shortsighted reason to date someone.
- bentlloyd1 6y ago
  A person certainly shouldn't choose to have an incompatible relationship to assuage their own loneliness, but the argument that I'm making is that people tend to get lonely when alone regardless of their own self contentment. And it's quite fine for a person who's uncomfortable being alone to start a compatible, healthy relationship. Humans should seek human interaction to some degree regardless of their degree of loneliness.
- pschimi 6y ago
  From someone who used to be content with being alone most their life：Nothing hurts as much as being forced to be alone when you have become used to sharing life with someone else. Consider the opposite though：imagine being trapped in a relationship both sides feel compelled only "for the Kids". If you feel bad for being alone, realize that what you got is the closest a human can be to true freedom. Only in being alone can you be unconstrained by the wants or needs (hell， just the wishes) of another person. Your future self might envy this luxury of yours, so appreciate it while you can.
emerged 6y ago
I went through a few stints in my late 20s when I literally didn't leave the condo for a span of 9 months, and at another point 6 months. It was within a span of a few years of deep social isolation. I had frozen meals delivered and left outside the condo. I mean fully that I didn't interact with a physical human during those months. It was a painful experience at times, although I tried not to wallow in it. Becoming completely accepting of that sort of isolation, and growing to thrive within it, is something I wish everyone could experience.
Jon_Lowtek 6y ago
i think you over-radicalize the opinion you are responding to. "being comfortable with oneself" is not the same thing as "going at it alone". While I agree with you that radical individualism is a troublesome ideology, I also agree that it is wise to be comfortable with oneself, both while alone, and when in company.

underseacables 6y ago

I reason that filling loneliness should not be the primary focus of a relationship. If you’re lonely, you’re making decisions because you’re lonely. However if you’re not lonely - meaning you’ve found happiness in being alone - then you would seem to be more free to choose partners based on other things than filling your loneliness. I guess in short, loneliness seems to be a really shortsighted reason to date someone.

bentlloyd1 6y ago
A person certainly shouldn't choose to have an incompatible relationship to assuage their own loneliness, but the argument that I'm making is that people tend to get lonely when alone regardless of their own self contentment. And it's quite fine for a person who's uncomfortable being alone to start a compatible, healthy relationship. Humans should seek human interaction to some degree regardless of their degree of loneliness.
pschimi 6y ago
From someone who used to be content with being alone most their life：Nothing hurts as much as being forced to be alone when you have become used to sharing life with someone else. Consider the opposite though：imagine being trapped in a relationship both sides feel compelled only "for the Kids". If you feel bad for being alone, realize that what you got is the closest a human can be to true freedom. Only in being alone can you be unconstrained by the wants or needs (hell， just the wishes) of another person. Your future self might envy this luxury of yours, so appreciate it while you can.

emerged 6y ago

I went through a few stints in my late 20s when I literally didn't leave the condo for a span of 9 months, and at another point 6 months. It was within a span of a few years of deep social isolation. I had frozen meals delivered and left outside the condo. I mean fully that I didn't interact with a physical human during those months. It was a painful experience at times, although I tried not to wallow in it. Becoming completely accepting of that sort of isolation, and growing to thrive within it, is something I wish everyone could experience.

Jon_Lowtek 6y ago

i think you over-radicalize the opinion you are responding to. "being comfortable with oneself" is not the same thing as "going at it alone". While I agree with you that radical individualism is a troublesome ideology, I also agree that it is wise to be comfortable with oneself, both while alone, and when in company.