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I'm Christian and have very deep beliefs in life after this. They bring some comfort to me on this topic. However in reading your words I suspect such a belief

by xupybd 6y ago

I'm Christian and have very deep beliefs in life after this. They bring some comfort to me on this topic. However in reading your words I suspect such a belief would not bring much comfort. I think you may have some anxiety issues that could be worth addressing. Regardless of your personal beliefs there is next to nothing you can do to preserve this life beyond the brief existence you're currently enjoying. That's a hard pill to swallow but it's also a very freeing one. There is very little value in worrying about things totally out of your control. If you have the means it might pay to talk to a therapist about this. You don't have to be unwell to see one. They can help guide you into developing new tools to deal with the anxiety and perhaps find some peace. At the very least talking to close friends or family might help. Edit: just read the follow on in the comments. It looks like you have tried these suggestions. Sorry I don't have much else to suggest. Only this, if you worry to much about your end you could miss out on your now. Good luck figuring this out.

anonymouse71 6y ago
Thank you. Yeah HN didn’t let me put everything I wrote in the post so I see a lot of people are seeing only the third that made it into the post and not the main parts. Definitely anxiety. Definitely need to address that regardless. Unlikely that I’ll go back to religion as to me it rings false. Not trying to invalidate anyone else, just have enough experience with my brain to know that I can spend my life believing in a god just to question it at the very end in a very uncomfortable way. Plus, sinners have more fun when they aren’t anxious messes is what I was told by my local satanists :)
- p0d 6y ago
  I am also a christian and went through a phase similar to yourself. If not shorter and possibly less intense. A cloud would come over my head for a time and I worried that one day it would stay. I think my fear of death stemmed from being part of a loving family for the first time in my life. This churned up emotions inside of me that I had never had before. The fear of being separated from people who loved me was new. It took some time and discussion for me to realise that these feelings were entirely normal. It became a matter of what I chose to do with these thoughts and feelings. As the response above suggests you should speak to an expert. Hopefully they will help you break out of the rut you are getting yourself into. The common sense part of me recommends you focus on today, then tomorrow, then the day after. At 50 I focus on Jesus's teaching of not unnecessarily worrying about tomorrow. My prayer is often, "God give me the wisdom I need for today". This prayer follows years of trying to anticipate the future and being confused by much of the "be awesome" tat we read online.

by xupybd 6y ago

anonymouse71 6y ago

Thank you. Yeah HN didn’t let me put everything I wrote in the post so I see a lot of people are seeing only the third that made it into the post and not the main parts. Definitely anxiety. Definitely need to address that regardless. Unlikely that I’ll go back to religion as to me it rings false. Not trying to invalidate anyone else, just have enough experience with my brain to know that I can spend my life believing in a god just to question it at the very end in a very uncomfortable way. Plus, sinners have more fun when they aren’t anxious messes is what I was told by my local satanists :)

p0d 6y ago
I am also a christian and went through a phase similar to yourself. If not shorter and possibly less intense. A cloud would come over my head for a time and I worried that one day it would stay. I think my fear of death stemmed from being part of a loving family for the first time in my life. This churned up emotions inside of me that I had never had before. The fear of being separated from people who loved me was new. It took some time and discussion for me to realise that these feelings were entirely normal. It became a matter of what I chose to do with these thoughts and feelings. As the response above suggests you should speak to an expert. Hopefully they will help you break out of the rut you are getting yourself into. The common sense part of me recommends you focus on today, then tomorrow, then the day after. At 50 I focus on Jesus's teaching of not unnecessarily worrying about tomorrow. My prayer is often, "God give me the wisdom I need for today". This prayer follows years of trying to anticipate the future and being confused by much of the "be awesome" tat we read online.