this is a bit of conventional wisdom that I have always questioned. the default expectation that you would spend a few years with someone and then cut them out

this is a bit of conventional wisdom that I have always questioned. the default expectation that you would spend a few years with someone and then cut them out of your life entirely if things don't work out strikes me as kind of tragic. that person was likely one of your best friends. there are exceptions of course. if the relationship ended because of very different levels of interest, it might take some time before a healthy friendship is possible. if the relationship became codependent or ended due to some sort of betrayal, it's probably best to make a clean break.