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No. The co-founder is not coming into this negotiation seeking an agreement amenable to all parties, but rather to get their way. They are a hard bargainer (in

No. The co-founder is not coming into this negotiation seeking an agreement amenable to all parties, but rather to get their way. They are a hard bargainer (in the sense that they are attempting to push the needle as much to their side as they can, rather than find something equitable). They are the person coming in to the yard sale, seeing the sign that says "$5", and saying "I'll give you 30 cents for it". You don't move the needle back by being kind and compassionate with those sorts of people. You move it back by using whatever leverage you have. We don't know what leverage the OP has, but his only defense is to use it to either trigger a real buyout, to get the other investor on his side, to risk tanking the company, to say "no" in the belief the co-founder won't tank the company in response, or some other option we're unaware of. In the same way you won't make headway trying to explain to that lowballer at the yard sale why $5 is more than fair, you won't make any headway trying to explain to someone who has come out of the gate with something so starkly unfair as the OP presents why their proposal is unfair. They know.

laurex 6y ago
I think there's a middle ground, and my thinking here is inspired by Chris Voss, that there's a good strategy in being both reasonable, calm, and resolute, as well as helping the other co-founder get to the decision. You don't need to be "aggressive," you need to be "the immovable nice person."
- lostcolony 6y ago
  Nowhere did I say to be unreasonable, aggressive, or rude. Just that being kind and compassionate is not what you need to be. As you say, "an immovable wall", which is hardly kind or compassionate. By "nice", if you mean polite, of course. By "nice", if you mean kind and compassionate (reiterating those adjectives), no, unless you mean "polite" by those as well. "Helping the other co-founder get to the decision" is only going to be achieved with leverage given that it's clear they're not looking to find an equitable (hah!) solution. They're trying to get as much control and equity as possible. It may be the OP has no option but to accept it (keeping 3% and moving on). Or it may be the OP has better options. But the point is that the other party has made their intentions known. They haven't come to the negotiating table saying "This is what I want, how can I get you to agree", they've come to it with "This is what I want; accept it", and when provided what the OP wants in return, turned it down, rather than seeking some middle ground or otherwise budging.

laurex 6y ago

I think there's a middle ground, and my thinking here is inspired by Chris Voss, that there's a good strategy in being both reasonable, calm, and resolute, as well as helping the other co-founder get to the decision. You don't need to be "aggressive," you need to be "the immovable nice person."

lostcolony 6y ago
Nowhere did I say to be unreasonable, aggressive, or rude. Just that being kind and compassionate is not what you need to be. As you say, "an immovable wall", which is hardly kind or compassionate. By "nice", if you mean polite, of course. By "nice", if you mean kind and compassionate (reiterating those adjectives), no, unless you mean "polite" by those as well. "Helping the other co-founder get to the decision" is only going to be achieved with leverage given that it's clear they're not looking to find an equitable (hah!) solution. They're trying to get as much control and equity as possible. It may be the OP has no option but to accept it (keeping 3% and moving on). Or it may be the OP has better options. But the point is that the other party has made their intentions known. They haven't come to the negotiating table saying "This is what I want, how can I get you to agree", they've come to it with "This is what I want; accept it", and when provided what the OP wants in return, turned it down, rather than seeking some middle ground or otherwise budging.