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I hate it. I'm 41. A web dev (laravel / php), but totally burned out, to the point I can't focus on freelancing hardly at all. Depression has been raging in me

I hate it. I'm 41. A web dev (laravel / php), but totally burned out, to the point I can't focus on freelancing hardly at all. Depression has been raging in me all year, and I feel bleak about it ending soon. The only time I come out of my haze is when I work on side projects or think about ways to change the world by creating some sort of dual-power healthcare union co-op that basically is medicare for all without gov't control. However, having been 3 months since my last client, I'm struggling to put food on the table, let alone work on social good projects. if I had 400k, I'd invest that so I could live off dividends, then work with other left-leaning programmers to figure out ways to build non-statist programs for UBI and Healthcare. I had to crowdfund this month's rent and Christmas presents for my two children (under 4). So, financial strain is kind of sucking the life out of me too... i definitely have empathy, in that i've had good months, years, and bad ones. So, I've been at both ends of spectrum, though never earned > 100k before, i've lived comfortable enough for me. I also want to devote the remainder of my life to helping others, and finally start my non-profit/union/co-op endeavor to build a true sharing economy. Where workers and consumers own the companies they work at and buy goods from, and execs do not get compensated above a decent multiplier of the average worker salary. (Voted on by said workers).

Vaslo 6y ago
Living on the dividends from a 400k investment? That’s below poverty!
- elindbe3 6y ago
  The poverty line is a general guideline. It doesn't take into account particular circumstances.
- Lionga 6y ago
  It's acutally above avarage wage in most parts of the world
- yulaow 6y ago
  In my current robomanaged investment fund I get roughly 9% yoy. If I had 400k invested I would get annually 30% more than the average salary in my euw first world country and basically never have to work for the rest of my life.
- gremlinsinc 6y ago
  I'm not sure what it would be exactly, on an average investment. However, living in Utah, I can survive on 4k a month, even 3k. Rent is 1400. Groceries, Internet, etc. Work from home means no commute expenses.
burnthrow 6y ago
You shouldn't be freelancing if you're short on rent a month after losing the big client, per your GoFundMe. Why aren't you seeking a more stable permanent position? You likely have more quality full-remote opportunities available right now than at any other time in your career, even in the down economy. If it's because you believe people aren't hiring, look again, you may be surprised; there's strong demand for LAMP devs right now and your salary demands are quite low. If it's because you prefer freelancing, surely a permanent position is better than asking for donations and taking out loans in the meantime. Applying to jobs, you pay no advertising and in general it is less involved than the dreadful task of finding new freelance clients.
- gremlinsinc 6y ago
  I guess part of it is, I've never worked for an actual company, accept by proxy (through an agency), closest would be working for a large restaurant for about 15 months (via an agency team - the agency's only client with enough work for 10 devs at the time). I also am on the 'spectrum', so interviewing has quite often been rough for me. I can solve problems people give, but I make stupid mistakes and am awkward on white board interviews. I guess, might be easier interviewing online though. Another reason for wanting to do freelance, is I'm hoping to eventually run my own agency, but haven't figured out yet how to get there. Last agency I worked for thought my $40 was basically robbing them, as they mostly pay around $25 for their devs, but since I knew laravel AND vue very well, he went with me. At this point, I'm willing to do wordpress on odesk for $20/hr, til I get something better going. I just don't have a history there, so have to bid low to get clients.

Vaslo 6y ago

Living on the dividends from a 400k investment? That’s below poverty!

elindbe3 6y ago
The poverty line is a general guideline. It doesn't take into account particular circumstances.
Lionga 6y ago
It's acutally above avarage wage in most parts of the world
yulaow 6y ago
In my current robomanaged investment fund I get roughly 9% yoy. If I had 400k invested I would get annually 30% more than the average salary in my euw first world country and basically never have to work for the rest of my life.
gremlinsinc 6y ago
I'm not sure what it would be exactly, on an average investment. However, living in Utah, I can survive on 4k a month, even 3k. Rent is 1400. Groceries, Internet, etc. Work from home means no commute expenses.

burnthrow 6y ago

You shouldn't be freelancing if you're short on rent a month after losing the big client, per your GoFundMe. Why aren't you seeking a more stable permanent position? You likely have more quality full-remote opportunities available right now than at any other time in your career, even in the down economy. If it's because you believe people aren't hiring, look again, you may be surprised; there's strong demand for LAMP devs right now and your salary demands are quite low. If it's because you prefer freelancing, surely a permanent position is better than asking for donations and taking out loans in the meantime. Applying to jobs, you pay no advertising and in general it is less involved than the dreadful task of finding new freelance clients.

gremlinsinc 6y ago
I guess part of it is, I've never worked for an actual company, accept by proxy (through an agency), closest would be working for a large restaurant for about 15 months (via an agency team - the agency's only client with enough work for 10 devs at the time). I also am on the 'spectrum', so interviewing has quite often been rough for me. I can solve problems people give, but I make stupid mistakes and am awkward on white board interviews. I guess, might be easier interviewing online though. Another reason for wanting to do freelance, is I'm hoping to eventually run my own agency, but haven't figured out yet how to get there. Last agency I worked for thought my $40 was basically robbing them, as they mostly pay around $25 for their devs, but since I knew laravel AND vue very well, he went with me. At this point, I'm willing to do wordpress on odesk for $20/hr, til I get something better going. I just don't have a history there, so have to bid low to get clients.