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I envy all of you people who "choose" how many hours of sleep they will have (or not have). After you have kids, especially if their sleep pattern is very incon

I envy all of you people who "choose" how many hours of sleep they will have (or not have). After you have kids, especially if their sleep pattern is very inconsistent for no apparent reason, you just take whatever you can get. Unfortunately, you may not be ready to sleep at 10pm that night that your child will decide to wake up at 1am ready to go about her day... Don't pay attention to me. Just another rant from a sleep-deprived parent... ;)

guygurari 15y ago
We had a lot of sleep-related problems with our kid. We recently sought professional help and started a program that gives children good sleep habits. We are three weeks in, and the results so far are nothing short of amazing. To put it simply, the kid is sleeping much better, and we got our lives back. One thing we learned the hard way is that following a method from a book is not enough -- you need a professional to guide you through this. There are many pitfalls you don't know about that will lead to failure, and you wont even realize what it is you're doing wrong. Good luck!
- wizard_2 15y ago
  Can you explain in a bit more depth?
  - edoloughlin 15y ago
    "you need a professional to guide you through this" - I think that's probably enough depth?
    - w1ntermute 15y ago
      No, it's not. He's asking for more detail than that. Otherwise, he wouldn't have responded to a comment saying "you need a professional to guide you through this" with "Can you explain in a bit more depth?".
  - guygurari 15y ago
    Sure. The main goal of the program we're in is to teach the child how to fall asleep by themselves. You start by helping the child fall asleep in their bed with patting and soothing voices. Then you gradually push them toward independence until you can put them in their bed, say good night, leave the room, and have them simply go to sleep. One important observation is that children who depend on external aids for falling asleep -- like cradling, or falling asleep while drinking from a bottle -- can become resistant to these aids after some time. When this happens it suddenly becomes much harder to get them to sleep, because they never had proper sleep habits to begin with. When a child can go to sleep on their own, they can also go back to sleep by themselves when they wake up in the middle of the night (we're actually seeing this happening). And this independence also has other benefits, like boosting self-confidence. Then there are a lot of little rules about how to actually accomplish this goal. For example, if the child falls asleep but wakes up just 10-20 minutes later, you must insist that they go back to sleep, because otherwise they didn't really fall asleep properly. And the parent who does this must be the same parent who put them in bed in the first place -- you can't switch. Then there are instructions on how to deal with crying (basically never let a child cry without addressing them, but also don't give up on going to sleep), etc. As I said there are a lot of details, and it's also quite different for every child. And of course this is all specific to the program we're in; I'm sure there are other good programs out there. My main point is that there are methods that work and have a proven track record -- you just have to find them.
- jamesbkel 15y ago
  Did the advice apply to just your child or did it also include parental sleep habit advice?
  - guygurari 15y ago
    Just the child.
- smackay 15y ago
  I'd agree with getting professional help for the simple reason is that they probably have greater experience and know a wide range of tricks and techniques you can try and when to try them. Books can be a one size fits all approach that is more of a recipe approach so it is difficult to judge what advice to follow and more especially if the first few ideas fail to generate any results. Also having someone around who is not also sleep-deprived (hopefully) and so thinking clearly is only a good thing.

guygurari 15y ago

We had a lot of sleep-related problems with our kid. We recently sought professional help and started a program that gives children good sleep habits. We are three weeks in, and the results so far are nothing short of amazing. To put it simply, the kid is sleeping much better, and we got our lives back. One thing we learned the hard way is that following a method from a book is not enough -- you need a professional to guide you through this. There are many pitfalls you don't know about that will lead to failure, and you wont even realize what it is you're doing wrong. Good luck!

wizard_2 15y ago
Can you explain in a bit more depth?
- edoloughlin 15y ago
  "you need a professional to guide you through this" - I think that's probably enough depth?
  - w1ntermute 15y ago
    No, it's not. He's asking for more detail than that. Otherwise, he wouldn't have responded to a comment saying "you need a professional to guide you through this" with "Can you explain in a bit more depth?".
- guygurari 15y ago
  Sure. The main goal of the program we're in is to teach the child how to fall asleep by themselves. You start by helping the child fall asleep in their bed with patting and soothing voices. Then you gradually push them toward independence until you can put them in their bed, say good night, leave the room, and have them simply go to sleep. One important observation is that children who depend on external aids for falling asleep -- like cradling, or falling asleep while drinking from a bottle -- can become resistant to these aids after some time. When this happens it suddenly becomes much harder to get them to sleep, because they never had proper sleep habits to begin with. When a child can go to sleep on their own, they can also go back to sleep by themselves when they wake up in the middle of the night (we're actually seeing this happening). And this independence also has other benefits, like boosting self-confidence. Then there are a lot of little rules about how to actually accomplish this goal. For example, if the child falls asleep but wakes up just 10-20 minutes later, you must insist that they go back to sleep, because otherwise they didn't really fall asleep properly. And the parent who does this must be the same parent who put them in bed in the first place -- you can't switch. Then there are instructions on how to deal with crying (basically never let a child cry without addressing them, but also don't give up on going to sleep), etc. As I said there are a lot of details, and it's also quite different for every child. And of course this is all specific to the program we're in; I'm sure there are other good programs out there. My main point is that there are methods that work and have a proven track record -- you just have to find them.
jamesbkel 15y ago
Did the advice apply to just your child or did it also include parental sleep habit advice?
- guygurari 15y ago
  Just the child.
smackay 15y ago
I'd agree with getting professional help for the simple reason is that they probably have greater experience and know a wide range of tricks and techniques you can try and when to try them. Books can be a one size fits all approach that is more of a recipe approach so it is difficult to judge what advice to follow and more especially if the first few ideas fail to generate any results. Also having someone around who is not also sleep-deprived (hopefully) and so thinking clearly is only a good thing.