7 ms·

One of my sons has Asperger syndrome. He's brilliant, happy, and has one of the sharpest senses of humor I've encountered. I'm not sure if his Asperger syndrome

One of my sons has Asperger syndrome. He's brilliant, happy, and has one of the sharpest senses of humor I've encountered. I'm not sure if his Asperger syndrome is a net positive or negative in his life, but it's certainly not a straight-up disability. Perhaps the author was thinking about a strong form of Autism that pretty unequivocally makes life difficult?

PlugTunin 6y ago
Good point. The author of that article, Baron-Cohen, has previously written (debated?) about whether HFA/AS is a disability OR a difference. Speaking for myself, and many who identify as having Asperger's -- and your son, from what it sounds like (who sounds really cool!) -- it is indeed a difference, and by no means a disability.
- novok 6y ago
  Low end ASD can make dating really hard for men, and their often inflexible nature makes them hard people to live with at times. I think from that perspective alone it's a disability.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
  - PlugTunin 6y ago
    I respect and agree with what you are saying. Even on the "higher-end", my relationships with the opposite sex were often unorthodox, shallow, or outright dysfunctional. And most of them were before my diagnosis. I'm probably guilty of not viewing this as disabling because I'm treating the term too concretely, as if a disability has to be something "physical" that might require special accommodations. But yeah, I suppose my challenges in understanding the game of love are disabling.
    - novok 6y ago
      By low-end ASD I mean mild ASD. I think strong ASD is pretty well recognized to be definitely disabling.
  - pikelet 6y ago
    For a large part of my life I was somewhat jealous of my brother, who had Asperger's, for his natural wit, and his incredible creativity (in art, in music, in writing). So I can't possibly see it as a disability. It certainly makes some aspects of life more difficult for him, but my experience is that he generally figures things out in the end, even if it's many years later than his peers. On the other hand, some things 'normal' people struggle with come very easily to him. Really, I think 'difference' is the best way to put it. Some 'good', some 'bad', but I think they play a very important role in society. As an aside, I'm really disappointed it's all under the umbrella term of ASD now. People are generally more aware of the differences now but no thanks to that.
    - novok 6y ago
      I'm not quite sure if your brothers ASD [0] is responsible for his IQ and his artistic ability. I knew a kid in high school who had aspergers and he tried to be a witty comedian, but it was just bad and grating. He had a hard time dating, a hunchback, bad hygiene and from my impression, average academics and below average physical ability, I really felt sorry for him. ASD does not give you an IQ boost, maybe at most an obsessiveness which can help you have the will to practice more. 0. I like ASD better because aspergers sounds like ass-burgers TBH and once explained it makes people understand immediately that you have various degrees of it.
    - astura 6y ago
      Asperger's does not give one a natural wit, usually it's very much the opposite.
  - ravi-delia 6y ago
    Conversely, that is also true of ugly or inconsiderate people regardless. When the problems are caused entirely by incompatibility with other people, I think its reasonable to say that maybe you aren't working with a disability.
- PlugTunin 6y ago
  I should be clear in stating that my life hasn't been a bowl of cherries. Asperger's is at the core of a looooong list of problems I've had with interpersonal relationships, whether it's family, friends, co-workers, roommates, etc. I'm sort of intolerant of being treated unjustly or being taken advantage of, and I react rather nastily to those who cross me. (And before you judge me, know that people with Asperger's have a knack for finding these situations. Exploited by coworkers? It really happens. Undesirable roommates who've physically threatened me? Been there more than once. Physical altercations as a kid, refusing to back down from bullies? Too many times to count. Screwed up relatives? I have many.) But I don't care to use the word disabled in describing myself. Being unable to keep my mouth shut in the face of something I don't agree with doesn't qualify as a disability. My sensory issues aren't anything I ask for accommodations for. That I prefer to spend more time away from people than the average bear is not a disability. And in the context of autism, it's hard to use the word disabled and not have people place limitations on what one can/can't do. So, I don't use the word. And just consider myself different. I recognize that there are people deeply offended by people like me, who are at the higher-functioning end of the spectrum and refuse to consider themselves disabled. (They see us as impostors.) There are also many people who take offense to the term lower/lesser functioning, and resent the use of terms like "severe autism". They consider this language to be demeaning. Autistic twitter is quite the landmine for semantic wars of this sort.
  - bryanmgreen 6y ago
    Disabled against the context of "normality". You can function obviously, but not as society expects you to or even in way they can understand. For that reason, you receive the label of "has a disability". The term "disability" is unfortunately as much a reflection of societal norms as it is genuine medical diagnosis.
    - pikelet 6y ago
      Exactly. Luckily society seems to be slowly becoming more accommodating and understanding, but there is a long was to go before society truly understands how to value the contribution of people who are different. Seeing 'disability' in this way, it can even apply to traits like introversion (depending on the culture you live in).
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
verisimilidude 6y ago
Yep. I was diagnosed with Asperger's later in life. I received this diagnosis after I already had a successful career, happy marriage, and house full of kids. Not much of a hindrance, right? On the other hand, my brother suffers a much more severe form of autism. He does hold a profession job in finance. But he otherwise requires a full-time caretaker, tons of medication and understanding, etc. No friends. He's not self-sufficient. It's a huge spectrum.
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
- DoofusOfDeath 6y ago
  I too received a probable-diagnosis later in life. (It was part of neuro-psych testing to look for ADD, so they didn't run the specific test battery used for Asperger.) In many ways my life has been just fine: steady well-paying employment, wonderful wife and kids, etc. So as with you, being (probably) somewhere on the spectrum isn't correlated with a crappy life. But... I've also had some unusual personality traits for my whole life, and I've really beaten myself up regarding them. Once I had a probably Asperger diagnosis, I felt like a tremendous weight was lifted. I no longer felt like I was uniquely messed up in those way. And maybe the subconscious logic is that if I'm part of a cluster of people with these idiosynchronies, maybe there's an underlying physiological cause that's somewhat out of my control, and therefore I'm less morally culpable for my atypical social failures.
  - the_cat_kittles 6y ago
    can you go into a little more detail about what results allowed them to conclude you were probably aspergers, and what the personality traits that you previously felt guilty for were?
    - novok 6y ago
      ADHD and mild ASD can sometimes look like one or the other. TBH a good neuropsych will do both if they have any suspicion of ASD if they are also doing ADHD testing.

PlugTunin 6y ago

Good point. The author of that article, Baron-Cohen, has previously written (debated?) about whether HFA/AS is a disability OR a difference. Speaking for myself, and many who identify as having Asperger's -- and your son, from what it sounds like (who sounds really cool!) -- it is indeed a difference, and by no means a disability.

novok 6y ago
Low end ASD can make dating really hard for men, and their often inflexible nature makes them hard people to live with at times. I think from that perspective alone it's a disability.
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
- PlugTunin 6y ago
  I respect and agree with what you are saying. Even on the "higher-end", my relationships with the opposite sex were often unorthodox, shallow, or outright dysfunctional. And most of them were before my diagnosis. I'm probably guilty of not viewing this as disabling because I'm treating the term too concretely, as if a disability has to be something "physical" that might require special accommodations. But yeah, I suppose my challenges in understanding the game of love are disabling.
  - novok 6y ago
    By low-end ASD I mean mild ASD. I think strong ASD is pretty well recognized to be definitely disabling.
- pikelet 6y ago
  For a large part of my life I was somewhat jealous of my brother, who had Asperger's, for his natural wit, and his incredible creativity (in art, in music, in writing). So I can't possibly see it as a disability. It certainly makes some aspects of life more difficult for him, but my experience is that he generally figures things out in the end, even if it's many years later than his peers. On the other hand, some things 'normal' people struggle with come very easily to him. Really, I think 'difference' is the best way to put it. Some 'good', some 'bad', but I think they play a very important role in society. As an aside, I'm really disappointed it's all under the umbrella term of ASD now. People are generally more aware of the differences now but no thanks to that.
  - novok 6y ago
    I'm not quite sure if your brothers ASD [0] is responsible for his IQ and his artistic ability. I knew a kid in high school who had aspergers and he tried to be a witty comedian, but it was just bad and grating. He had a hard time dating, a hunchback, bad hygiene and from my impression, average academics and below average physical ability, I really felt sorry for him. ASD does not give you an IQ boost, maybe at most an obsessiveness which can help you have the will to practice more. 0. I like ASD better because aspergers sounds like ass-burgers TBH and once explained it makes people understand immediately that you have various degrees of it.
  - astura 6y ago
    Asperger's does not give one a natural wit, usually it's very much the opposite.
- ravi-delia 6y ago
  Conversely, that is also true of ugly or inconsiderate people regardless. When the problems are caused entirely by incompatibility with other people, I think its reasonable to say that maybe you aren't working with a disability.
PlugTunin 6y ago
I should be clear in stating that my life hasn't been a bowl of cherries. Asperger's is at the core of a looooong list of problems I've had with interpersonal relationships, whether it's family, friends, co-workers, roommates, etc. I'm sort of intolerant of being treated unjustly or being taken advantage of, and I react rather nastily to those who cross me. (And before you judge me, know that people with Asperger's have a knack for finding these situations. Exploited by coworkers? It really happens. Undesirable roommates who've physically threatened me? Been there more than once. Physical altercations as a kid, refusing to back down from bullies? Too many times to count. Screwed up relatives? I have many.) But I don't care to use the word disabled in describing myself. Being unable to keep my mouth shut in the face of something I don't agree with doesn't qualify as a disability. My sensory issues aren't anything I ask for accommodations for. That I prefer to spend more time away from people than the average bear is not a disability. And in the context of autism, it's hard to use the word disabled and not have people place limitations on what one can/can't do. So, I don't use the word. And just consider myself different. I recognize that there are people deeply offended by people like me, who are at the higher-functioning end of the spectrum and refuse to consider themselves disabled. (They see us as impostors.) There are also many people who take offense to the term lower/lesser functioning, and resent the use of terms like "severe autism". They consider this language to be demeaning. Autistic twitter is quite the landmine for semantic wars of this sort.
- bryanmgreen 6y ago
  Disabled against the context of "normality". You can function obviously, but not as society expects you to or even in way they can understand. For that reason, you receive the label of "has a disability". The term "disability" is unfortunately as much a reflection of societal norms as it is genuine medical diagnosis.
  - pikelet 6y ago
    Exactly. Luckily society seems to be slowly becoming more accommodating and understanding, but there is a long was to go before society truly understands how to value the contribution of people who are different. Seeing 'disability' in this way, it can even apply to traits like introversion (depending on the culture you live in).

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

verisimilidude 6y ago

Yep. I was diagnosed with Asperger's later in life. I received this diagnosis after I already had a successful career, happy marriage, and house full of kids. Not much of a hindrance, right? On the other hand, my brother suffers a much more severe form of autism. He does hold a profession job in finance. But he otherwise requires a full-time caretaker, tons of medication and understanding, etc. No friends. He's not self-sufficient. It's a huge spectrum.

deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
DoofusOfDeath 6y ago
I too received a probable-diagnosis later in life. (It was part of neuro-psych testing to look for ADD, so they didn't run the specific test battery used for Asperger.) In many ways my life has been just fine: steady well-paying employment, wonderful wife and kids, etc. So as with you, being (probably) somewhere on the spectrum isn't correlated with a crappy life. But... I've also had some unusual personality traits for my whole life, and I've really beaten myself up regarding them. Once I had a probably Asperger diagnosis, I felt like a tremendous weight was lifted. I no longer felt like I was uniquely messed up in those way. And maybe the subconscious logic is that if I'm part of a cluster of people with these idiosynchronies, maybe there's an underlying physiological cause that's somewhat out of my control, and therefore I'm less morally culpable for my atypical social failures.
- the_cat_kittles 6y ago
  can you go into a little more detail about what results allowed them to conclude you were probably aspergers, and what the personality traits that you previously felt guilty for were?
  - novok 6y ago
    ADHD and mild ASD can sometimes look like one or the other. TBH a good neuropsych will do both if they have any suspicion of ASD if they are also doing ADHD testing.