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> I often wondered if it's just because these folks want free lunch and some socialization. In over 50% of the careers I have had in the US I can honestly say

> I often wondered if it's just because these folks want free lunch and some socialization. In over 50% of the careers I have had in the US I can honestly say that it was more about the ceremony of "work" that it was ever about the work. So much of this is the middle-management dilemma where as a producer/IC I find myself more worried about the outward appearance of my work vs. the actual substance of it. > I don't spend my workdays socializing I'd advise against this in most places. I've done the whole "work not socialize" thing and it comes up in 1:1's as anti-social behavior. I'm not saying I disagree with you _at all_ but I've learned to go through the motions and begrudgingly participate in "dev beers" at 2:30pm on a Friday, or Go-karting, or the lavish meals... I've had to go to dance clubs for my job, I've been pressured to go to strip clubs (never went), I've been pushed to perform for talent shows... It infuriates me. It makes me mad enough to punch a wall. I am here to work. My culture is work. Let me work. I am a god-damned engineer - let me perform the work I am paid to do, then let me go home afterward... Socializing is largely the new American work culture. It's pathetic, and it's a bubble that will pop. We didn't get to the god-damned moon knocking off at 2:30pm on a Friday for "dev beers"... =| --- Also, as a drop-out I totally feel you. Self-learning was the only way to getting a successful career after a very toxic "education" experience I went through in the middle-of-nowhere Iowa. I legitimately do not know if I would be OK if it wasn't for the internet. It allowed me to self-learn whenever I could, and allowed me a platform/audience to hone skills.

kodah 6y ago
> I'd advise against this in most places. I've done the whole "work not socialize" thing and it comes up in 1:1's as anti-social behavior. Same. I've had managers in the past express this in different ways. Eventually I learned to just be present, smile, and crack some jokes. Usually that affords me the ability to say my dog needs me, or something. > Self-learning was the only way to getting a successful career after a very toxic "education" experience I went through in the middle-of-nowhere Iowa. Mine was a private school. Interestingly the content was great. The methodology for teaching was not so much. > I legitimately do not know if I would be OK if it wasn't for the internet. It allowed me to self-learn whenever I could, and allowed me a platform/audience to hone skills. I thank my lucky stars the internet and IRC knew what to do with me. Thanks for sharing, we should definitely get weekend-citizen-beers sometime.

kodah 6y ago

> I'd advise against this in most places. I've done the whole "work not socialize" thing and it comes up in 1:1's as anti-social behavior. Same. I've had managers in the past express this in different ways. Eventually I learned to just be present, smile, and crack some jokes. Usually that affords me the ability to say my dog needs me, or something. > Self-learning was the only way to getting a successful career after a very toxic "education" experience I went through in the middle-of-nowhere Iowa. Mine was a private school. Interestingly the content was great. The methodology for teaching was not so much. > I legitimately do not know if I would be OK if it wasn't for the internet. It allowed me to self-learn whenever I could, and allowed me a platform/audience to hone skills. I thank my lucky stars the internet and IRC knew what to do with me. Thanks for sharing, we should definitely get weekend-citizen-beers sometime.