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I think a lot of discussion here is conflating kindness with vulnerability. Kindness can sometimes mean vulnerability, but saying “no” is not inherently unkind

I think a lot of discussion here is conflating kindness with vulnerability. Kindness can sometimes mean vulnerability, but saying “no” is not inherently unkind. Kindness is also not necessarily self-sacrificing. You can have firm boundaries but be incredibly kind. Working out the differences to me has opened up a new level of relationships.

the_arun 6y ago
The key is practically selfless. For eg. You are buying food from restaurant - you see a homeless person standing there with a board asking for food. But you have money only to buy one sandwich. What do you do? 1. Say "no", because you too are hungry 2. Share half of the sandwich? 3. Giving whole sandwich & walk away as a saint? (3) is super kindness, but that needs different level of thinking & practice. Kindness we are talking here is (2). Your "no" point comes for the remaining half in (2).