English really lacks when it comes to the vernacular of interpersonal relations. We give the same name "friend", to relationships varying from the person we buy

English really lacks when it comes to the vernacular of interpersonal relations. We give the same name "friend", to relationships varying from the person we buy beer from to people we help in our community to people we might be very intimate with. Friendship though can fill many human needs. Casual friends like those in business or work allow us a shortcut for finding reliable service and goods. Communities are built out of friendships that may not be particularly close but which allow us to do things we couldn't on our own. Moving house, caring for children, help in an emergency, planning a celebration or acquiring a hard to find item. Perhaps a lot of HNers won't understand how important this is because of their financial situation. But these are services people often cannot pay for and only acquire through community. I grew up in such a community and had never heard of paid movers until I moved to the West Coast. In many a family emergency my siblings and I stayed with such friends. Intimate friendships can be wonderfully fulfilling in a way you can only know if you've been in one. Though you must be very careful of who you invest them in. Something I really struggled with was finding that a lot of people are not good intimate friends and that's ok. You should just maintain those friendships at a distance. The main thing I've found though is that if you are anxious and I am very prone to anxiety around unfamiliar people, you will not bond. To make friends, you must find a way to be comfortable around people. I think this is why families are often people's only major friend group. Because they have been forced into contact in situations where eventually their guard is down. Same as to why sports and games are so good for meeting friends. You get focused on the activity and lose some anxiety. Probably also why drugs and alcohol allow people to bond.