4 ms·

It's difficult to not act desperate when you actually are in a somewhat desperate situation (for example it's x weeks/months until you won't be able to pay your

by st1x7 6y ago

It's difficult to not act desperate when you actually are in a somewhat desperate situation (for example it's x weeks/months until you won't be able to pay your bills).

daodedickinson 6y ago
Best CS job offer I got was $500 for three months and I was 2nd in my class It's all a cruel real shithorrorshow rapejape
austincheney 6y ago
True, but it’s still irrelevant to attaining a new job. Ultimately it’s a conversation about adding value and distractions that detract from value are a net negative on both sides of the table.
- st1x7 6y ago
  It's more than just the value conversation. The best interviewees are relaxed and act like they have other good employment options (and they often do). If you've been laid off and don't know how to make next month's rent, acting like you have better options is both an act and a gamble on your part. It's understandably difficult to pull off.
  - austincheney 6y ago
    Relaxed doesn’t mean hopelessly stringing along a bunch of equivocation nonsense fishing for sympathy. I understand that temporary financial pressures are stressful but that isn’t a concern of the hiring company. Attempts to make it a concern are distractions that end in failure. As unfair as this sounds it looks like weakness. Instead, focus. Calm down. Think about writing software and building cool products. Redirect your energy into enthusiasm and try to have a conversation about adding value to your potential future employer.
nexus2045 6y ago
I had the same problem when it came to “getting a girlfriend” (quoted because it might sound too trivial compared to this current issue, and also because I wanted one for the wrong reasons, which was to seem “normal” to others and stop being “forever alone”). I was told I was acting too desperate and lacked confidence, to which I countered... how can I not act desperate when I’ve been lonely for so long? (Of course the answer to that is to enjoy being alone/single first, but I was getting huge FOMO and envy during college-age years when everyone else seemed to be in a relationship and I wasn’t). In hindsight, breaking out of a negative feedback loop requires a lot of conscious effort, or else reality becomes a nonstop fulfilling prophecy.

by st1x7 6y ago

It's difficult to not act desperate when you actually are in a somewhat desperate situation (for example it's x weeks/months until you won't be able to pay your bills).

daodedickinson 6y ago

Best CS job offer I got was $500 for three months and I was 2nd in my class It's all a cruel real shithorrorshow rapejape

austincheney 6y ago

True, but it’s still irrelevant to attaining a new job. Ultimately it’s a conversation about adding value and distractions that detract from value are a net negative on both sides of the table.

st1x7 6y ago
It's more than just the value conversation. The best interviewees are relaxed and act like they have other good employment options (and they often do). If you've been laid off and don't know how to make next month's rent, acting like you have better options is both an act and a gamble on your part. It's understandably difficult to pull off.
- austincheney 6y ago
  Relaxed doesn’t mean hopelessly stringing along a bunch of equivocation nonsense fishing for sympathy. I understand that temporary financial pressures are stressful but that isn’t a concern of the hiring company. Attempts to make it a concern are distractions that end in failure. As unfair as this sounds it looks like weakness. Instead, focus. Calm down. Think about writing software and building cool products. Redirect your energy into enthusiasm and try to have a conversation about adding value to your potential future employer.

nexus2045 6y ago

I had the same problem when it came to “getting a girlfriend” (quoted because it might sound too trivial compared to this current issue, and also because I wanted one for the wrong reasons, which was to seem “normal” to others and stop being “forever alone”). I was told I was acting too desperate and lacked confidence, to which I countered... how can I not act desperate when I’ve been lonely for so long? (Of course the answer to that is to enjoy being alone/single first, but I was getting huge FOMO and envy during college-age years when everyone else seemed to be in a relationship and I wasn’t). In hindsight, breaking out of a negative feedback loop requires a lot of conscious effort, or else reality becomes a nonstop fulfilling prophecy.