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I think this might be common in people who are generally socially anxious. TBH, this helps me in my social conversations too as I think of jokes the day before

I think this might be common in people who are generally socially anxious. TBH, this helps me in my social conversations too as I think of jokes the day before I have a talk with my friends. But this has increased in the recent weeks and I am concerned whether it is "normal" or not.

vorpalhex 6y ago
Another poster pointed this out and they were quite correct, despite downvotes - "normality" isn't a goal. Normal is a section of the bellcurve and fitting into that curve isn't supposed to be a goal, it's just descriptive of a larger group. The question should really be "does X behavior cause any problems in my life?" If it doesn't cause you problems then you're good, and if it does, then you should look to alleviate those problems (whether that's modifying the behavior or the situation). If playing out social situations does alleviate the anxiety and your only downside is sometimes the people in your house give you funny looks - well that's probably a worthwhile tradeoff. On the other hand, if the behavior is aggravating social anxiety, then it's worth talking to someone about. Social anxiety falls under the generalized anxiety tree, and most people do feel some anxiety in social situations - but if it's disruptive to your life then it may be worth chatting with a therapist with. Most therapists are going to try and identify the specific causes and then give you tools to alleviate those feelings.
- Flex247A 6y ago
  Thanks for the detailed reply! I am thinking of contacting the university mental health counsellor :)
voisin 6y ago
I concur with this comment about social anxiety. After incorporating some mindfulness meditation into my daily routine, I have noticed a stark decline in how much I replay conversations (as per another comment here) and how much I rehearse potential future conversations (which never go the way you rehearse! Off topic: Mike Tyson’s quote is good here: “Everyone’s got a plan until they get punched in the face.”). I think both of these acts (past rumination and future rehearsal) are big parts of social anxiety that lessen with mindfulness. As for having imaginary conversations with real people I know that are neither repeats of past conversations nor rehearsals of future conversations, I think there may have been a slight decline but I didn’t do a ton of this prior. TL;DR: I think mindfulness meditation helps with this.
- Flex247A 6y ago
  Thanks for the detailed reply! Will check up on mindfulness meditation.
tome 6y ago
Churchill famously prepared his quips "Although these might have seemed off the cuff and spontaneous, they were generally carefully rehearsed, words carefully selected for punning potential, stored in his prodigious memory and then released on their unsuspecting recipient at the right moment" https://winstonchurchill.org/the-life-of-churchill/life/man-of-words/churchill-the-wit/ https://winstonchurchill.org/the-life-of-churchill/life/man-...

vorpalhex 6y ago

Another poster pointed this out and they were quite correct, despite downvotes - "normality" isn't a goal. Normal is a section of the bellcurve and fitting into that curve isn't supposed to be a goal, it's just descriptive of a larger group. The question should really be "does X behavior cause any problems in my life?" If it doesn't cause you problems then you're good, and if it does, then you should look to alleviate those problems (whether that's modifying the behavior or the situation). If playing out social situations does alleviate the anxiety and your only downside is sometimes the people in your house give you funny looks - well that's probably a worthwhile tradeoff. On the other hand, if the behavior is aggravating social anxiety, then it's worth talking to someone about. Social anxiety falls under the generalized anxiety tree, and most people do feel some anxiety in social situations - but if it's disruptive to your life then it may be worth chatting with a therapist with. Most therapists are going to try and identify the specific causes and then give you tools to alleviate those feelings.

Flex247A 6y ago
Thanks for the detailed reply! I am thinking of contacting the university mental health counsellor :)

voisin 6y ago

I concur with this comment about social anxiety. After incorporating some mindfulness meditation into my daily routine, I have noticed a stark decline in how much I replay conversations (as per another comment here) and how much I rehearse potential future conversations (which never go the way you rehearse! Off topic: Mike Tyson’s quote is good here: “Everyone’s got a plan until they get punched in the face.”). I think both of these acts (past rumination and future rehearsal) are big parts of social anxiety that lessen with mindfulness. As for having imaginary conversations with real people I know that are neither repeats of past conversations nor rehearsals of future conversations, I think there may have been a slight decline but I didn’t do a ton of this prior. TL;DR: I think mindfulness meditation helps with this.

Flex247A 6y ago
Thanks for the detailed reply! Will check up on mindfulness meditation.

tome 6y ago

Churchill famously prepared his quips "Although these might have seemed off the cuff and spontaneous, they were generally carefully rehearsed, words carefully selected for punning potential, stored in his prodigious memory and then released on their unsuspecting recipient at the right moment" https://winstonchurchill.org/the-life-of-churchill/life/man-of-words/churchill-the-wit/ https://winstonchurchill.org/the-life-of-churchill/life/man-...