That's elegant dungtional programming but it's not really relevant here as you are supposed to check if new crap matches any of the enumerated fecal matter; how

That's elegant dungtional programming but it's not really relevant here as you are supposed to check if new crap matches any of the enumerated fecal matter; how would you do that against an infinite stream of diarrhea? I'd leave this to the type system if possible. And of course use a colon-delimited list for the occasion.