I started thinking like this pretty early, and even further than that, refusing myself to "absorb"/think about positive feedback at all. I saw that as pure self

I started thinking like this pretty early, and even further than that, refusing myself to "absorb"/think about positive feedback at all. I saw that as pure self-indulgence, with no actionable content whatsoever. I was very stubborn about it too, and I remember talking about it with people whenever someone called me smart or something similar... In my view, it is the first step towards Stoicism.