4 ms·

That sex should look more like porn is quite a dystopian future for women. I think expanding our definitions of sex is a good thing, but that doesn't mean there

by eloff 6y ago

That sex should look more like porn is quite a dystopian future for women. I think expanding our definitions of sex is a good thing, but that doesn't mean there should be no restraints either.

standardUser 6y ago
You should meet some of the women I hang out with. And obviously no one is calling for "no restraints".
- alacombe 6y ago
  > And obviously no one is calling for "no restraints". I've been with a couple of women I couldn't find limits of, and it's not for the lack of attempts at otherwise considered disgusting practices... and I know for a fact that I'm sexually pretty mild compared to what's out there.
- eloff 6y ago
  What I'm saying is reevaluating bedroom norms and moors is fine, but let's also not make the mistake of thinking our prudish ancestors had it all wrong. I think porn has both good and bad influences - but it is definitely not benign.
  - standardUser 6y ago
    I couldn't disagree more. Our prudish ancestors had it all wrong. Ask the uncountable millions and millions of gay men and women who suffered their whole lives at the hands of those prudes. And what did the prudes gain in return? Bad sex and shame. There is nothing redeeming in an anti-sex perspective.
    - eloff 6y ago
      Whenever you find yourself saying someone is totally wrong, is a good indication you don't understand them. I'm not going to argue with someone who can't see the other side. Presumably you can find some value in some of the values and traditions from the past? You have to acknowledge that our current values are merely an incremental change on what came before. You can't say they were all wrong without saying you're also wrong then.
alacombe 6y ago
> That sex should look more like porn is quite a dystopian future for women Oh believe me, women have wicked fantasies you wouldn't consider being "good things".
- eloff 6y ago
  None of that is a problem. Porn can be quite degrading to women and young women should not feel pressured that they have accept that because it's now more normalized because of porn.
  - alacombe 6y ago
    > [...] should not feel pressured that they have accept that because it's now more normalized Would you say the same thing about homosexuality or transgenderism ?
    - eloff 6y ago
      Can you phrase your question completely? I don't want to guess at it.
      - alacombe 6y ago
        Should people feel pressured to accept normalized behavior which used to be seen, or are still seen, negatively ?
        eloff 6y ago
        > Should people feel pressured to accept normalized behaviour which used to be seen, or are still seen, negatively - such as homosexuality or trans? I find that a bit of an odd question. I think people do currently feel societal pressure to be accepting of LGBTQ people. I don't think that's necessarily good or bad by itself - it just reflects the changes in society. Should parents feel pressure to be accepting of their children's lifestyle if they come out as LGBTQ? Yes. Should parents feel pressure to be accepting of their children's desire to transition if they identify as a different gender? No, because that's permanent, there's a good chance they'll later come to view that as a mistake. If they still want to do that as an adult - then that's when they can do it. To try and get back to what I think you're digging at - should girls be pressured into sex acts in porn which used to be seen, or are still seen, negatively because they're more normalized now thanks to porn? - No. I don't think people should be pressured into sex acts.

by eloff 6y ago

That sex should look more like porn is quite a dystopian future for women. I think expanding our definitions of sex is a good thing, but that doesn't mean there should be no restraints either.

standardUser 6y ago

You should meet some of the women I hang out with. And obviously no one is calling for "no restraints".

alacombe 6y ago
> And obviously no one is calling for "no restraints". I've been with a couple of women I couldn't find limits of, and it's not for the lack of attempts at otherwise considered disgusting practices... and I know for a fact that I'm sexually pretty mild compared to what's out there.
eloff 6y ago
What I'm saying is reevaluating bedroom norms and moors is fine, but let's also not make the mistake of thinking our prudish ancestors had it all wrong. I think porn has both good and bad influences - but it is definitely not benign.
- standardUser 6y ago
  I couldn't disagree more. Our prudish ancestors had it all wrong. Ask the uncountable millions and millions of gay men and women who suffered their whole lives at the hands of those prudes. And what did the prudes gain in return? Bad sex and shame. There is nothing redeeming in an anti-sex perspective.
  - eloff 6y ago
    Whenever you find yourself saying someone is totally wrong, is a good indication you don't understand them. I'm not going to argue with someone who can't see the other side. Presumably you can find some value in some of the values and traditions from the past? You have to acknowledge that our current values are merely an incremental change on what came before. You can't say they were all wrong without saying you're also wrong then.

alacombe 6y ago

> That sex should look more like porn is quite a dystopian future for women Oh believe me, women have wicked fantasies you wouldn't consider being "good things".

eloff 6y ago
None of that is a problem. Porn can be quite degrading to women and young women should not feel pressured that they have accept that because it's now more normalized because of porn.
- alacombe 6y ago
  > [...] should not feel pressured that they have accept that because it's now more normalized Would you say the same thing about homosexuality or transgenderism ?
  - eloff 6y ago
    Can you phrase your question completely? I don't want to guess at it.
    - alacombe 6y ago
      Should people feel pressured to accept normalized behavior which used to be seen, or are still seen, negatively ?
      - eloff 6y ago
        > Should people feel pressured to accept normalized behaviour which used to be seen, or are still seen, negatively - such as homosexuality or trans? I find that a bit of an odd question. I think people do currently feel societal pressure to be accepting of LGBTQ people. I don't think that's necessarily good or bad by itself - it just reflects the changes in society. Should parents feel pressure to be accepting of their children's lifestyle if they come out as LGBTQ? Yes. Should parents feel pressure to be accepting of their children's desire to transition if they identify as a different gender? No, because that's permanent, there's a good chance they'll later come to view that as a mistake. If they still want to do that as an adult - then that's when they can do it. To try and get back to what I think you're digging at - should girls be pressured into sex acts in porn which used to be seen, or are still seen, negatively because they're more normalized now thanks to porn? - No. I don't think people should be pressured into sex acts.