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I know this is highly subjective but what is a "good personal reason" for having kids?

yboris 6y ago
On the moral side, there may be good reasons to be an anti-natalist ("Better Never to Have Been"). I think it depends on the quality of life ahead. If the earth was a utopia, I'd be more interested in having a child. A good personal reason to have a child, I think, is having an intense desire to have a child, and an intense desire to nurture and help your child grow into a good human being. I give at least 10% of my income to cost-effective charities (see GiveWell.org for recommendations; see GivingWhatWeCan.org for a community of others doing the same). I think that's a better use of my money than taking care of one human being. I get more time for myself (no need to take care of my own children). I help in cost-effective ways to help the next generation live a better life; it's a good balance for me. Needless to say, having a child wouldn't conflict with giving to charity, but it's easier.
- friendlybus 6y ago
  Most people in the past had kids because life sucked. We gained from having extra hands on the farm. More kids were better in a world with a relatively high mortality rate. Your kid doesn't have to live in a utopia to be worth making.
- tyrust 6y ago
  We've been going through this decision making process, as well. All of your points are good, there was just one I wanted to follow up on. >I think that's a better use of my money than taking care of one human being. I don't think this is necessarily true. Your child(ren) (and their child(ren) and their's, etc.) also have the potential to earn and donate money to effective causes. Those donations might end up greater than the ones you can accomplish in your own lifetime. Of course, "net good to current and future humanity" is only one part of the equation.
  - yboris 6y ago
    Just sounds like passing the buck further. I'm more altruistic than average. Regression to the mean says my kids will be less altruistic. And it would be rude to manipulate them into doing anything. I would surely do my best to instill the values I think are good, but in the end, it would be their individual choice.
    - tyrust 6y ago
      Fair interpretation. As you point out, the installation of your values would, perhaps, push them above the mean. But it's ultimately a dice roll.

On the moral side, there may be good reasons to be an anti-natalist ("Better Never to Have Been"). I think it depends on the quality of life ahead. If the earth was a utopia, I'd be more interested in having a child. A good personal reason to have a child, I think, is having an intense desire to have a child, and an intense desire to nurture and help your child grow into a good human being. I give at least 10% of my income to cost-effective charities (see GiveWell.org for recommendations; see GivingWhatWeCan.org for a community of others doing the same). I think that's a better use of my money than taking care of one human being. I get more time for myself (no need to take care of my own children). I help in cost-effective ways to help the next generation live a better life; it's a good balance for me. Needless to say, having a child wouldn't conflict with giving to charity, but it's easier.

friendlybus 6y ago
Most people in the past had kids because life sucked. We gained from having extra hands on the farm. More kids were better in a world with a relatively high mortality rate. Your kid doesn't have to live in a utopia to be worth making.
tyrust 6y ago
We've been going through this decision making process, as well. All of your points are good, there was just one I wanted to follow up on. >I think that's a better use of my money than taking care of one human being. I don't think this is necessarily true. Your child(ren) (and their child(ren) and their's, etc.) also have the potential to earn and donate money to effective causes. Those donations might end up greater than the ones you can accomplish in your own lifetime. Of course, "net good to current and future humanity" is only one part of the equation.
- yboris 6y ago
  Just sounds like passing the buck further. I'm more altruistic than average. Regression to the mean says my kids will be less altruistic. And it would be rude to manipulate them into doing anything. I would surely do my best to instill the values I think are good, but in the end, it would be their individual choice.
  - tyrust 6y ago
    Fair interpretation. As you point out, the installation of your values would, perhaps, push them above the mean. But it's ultimately a dice roll.