6 ms·

And then heaven forbid if you have different political views from them, especially in 2020. My mom treats me very weirdly, not because I actually voted for Trum

And then heaven forbid if you have different political views from them, especially in 2020. My mom treats me very weirdly, not because I actually voted for Trump, but because I don't spend my days ranting about how he's Satan incarnate like she does. My sister aligns politically with my mom and she moved to MONGOLIA to get away from her. I'm glad for people who truly like their families, but not all of us won that particular genetic lottery.

BurningFrog 6y ago
Political tribes are taking over the role of family, even within families.
- natchy 6y ago
  i'd say political tribes are taking over the role of the church or spiritual leaders. Work is taking over the role of the family.
  - BurningFrog 6y ago
    The Blue Tribe is an alternative religion is many ways. The Red Tribe still has Christianity, so they don't need another one.
    - smileysteve 6y ago
      Disagree vehemently
      - BurningFrog 6y ago
        Which is the typical religious response :)
burner831234 6y ago
I agree with most of this One thing I've learned in my 30s is its not a genetic lottery. There are definitely very irrevocable dynamics but many can be molded with a level of concern, effort and boundary setting that we usually associate with work added with a dash of true sincerity and deep care.
- cgriswald 6y ago
  > There are definitely very irrevocable dynamics but many can be molded with a level of concern, effort and boundary setting that we usually associate with work added with a dash of true sincerity and deep care. I think this largely depends on factors outside our individual control—specifically, the other person. Sometimes setting boundaries, doing the work, can help the other person see the way their behavior is impacting you. Other times, it won't, so if you want the relationship to continue you have to be willing to always and repeatedly do all the work to maintain the relationship. Without the other person being capable and willing to recognize their own issues (and maybe get some therapy), no amount of your own effort can effect a permanent change.
rootusrootus 6y ago
It is both fascinating and sad to watch. My family has split along political lines, with half despising Trump and half worshipping him. Each side hates the other sufficiently that we just avoid talking anymore, so it's like having two distinct families. I don't know the solution other than everyone agreeing not to talk politics, ever. And even better, actually deciding that politics is pretty insignificant and only something to think about on election day.
- Fnoord 6y ago
  Politics is the opposite of insignificant, and everything is related to politics, so you're sitting on a ticking time bomb if you're as a group trying to ignore it. Ignoring the pink elephant in the room doesn't make it go away.
  - natchy 6y ago
    politics is governing. most people don't govern. We have other jobs and roles. My influence on politics is insignificant vs my influence on other things that will impact my quality of life and those around me. In fact, politics and political news are a huge time suck for lots of people. Might as well be playing video games or watching sports.
    - Fnoord 6y ago
      > politics is governing. most people don't govern. We have other jobs and roles. That depends on the definition being used [1]. IMO, using this definition of governing [2], governing is taking responsibility, we do it all the time, and it is tough at times. An example of governing is deciding when to change your baby's diaper. You take responsibility to put in the time and effort (which boils down to money) to keep the baby healthy, proper, and happy. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics#Extensive_and_limited https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics#Extensive_and_limited [2] https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/govern https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/govern
      - tubularhells 6y ago
deleted 6y ago
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BurningFrog 6y ago

Political tribes are taking over the role of family, even within families.

natchy 6y ago
i'd say political tribes are taking over the role of the church or spiritual leaders. Work is taking over the role of the family.
- BurningFrog 6y ago
  The Blue Tribe is an alternative religion is many ways. The Red Tribe still has Christianity, so they don't need another one.
  - smileysteve 6y ago
    Disagree vehemently
    - BurningFrog 6y ago
      Which is the typical religious response :)

burner831234 6y ago

I agree with most of this One thing I've learned in my 30s is its not a genetic lottery. There are definitely very irrevocable dynamics but many can be molded with a level of concern, effort and boundary setting that we usually associate with work added with a dash of true sincerity and deep care.

cgriswald 6y ago
> There are definitely very irrevocable dynamics but many can be molded with a level of concern, effort and boundary setting that we usually associate with work added with a dash of true sincerity and deep care. I think this largely depends on factors outside our individual control—specifically, the other person. Sometimes setting boundaries, doing the work, can help the other person see the way their behavior is impacting you. Other times, it won't, so if you want the relationship to continue you have to be willing to always and repeatedly do all the work to maintain the relationship. Without the other person being capable and willing to recognize their own issues (and maybe get some therapy), no amount of your own effort can effect a permanent change.

rootusrootus 6y ago

It is both fascinating and sad to watch. My family has split along political lines, with half despising Trump and half worshipping him. Each side hates the other sufficiently that we just avoid talking anymore, so it's like having two distinct families. I don't know the solution other than everyone agreeing not to talk politics, ever. And even better, actually deciding that politics is pretty insignificant and only something to think about on election day.

Fnoord 6y ago
Politics is the opposite of insignificant, and everything is related to politics, so you're sitting on a ticking time bomb if you're as a group trying to ignore it. Ignoring the pink elephant in the room doesn't make it go away.
- natchy 6y ago
  politics is governing. most people don't govern. We have other jobs and roles. My influence on politics is insignificant vs my influence on other things that will impact my quality of life and those around me. In fact, politics and political news are a huge time suck for lots of people. Might as well be playing video games or watching sports.
  - Fnoord 6y ago
    > politics is governing. most people don't govern. We have other jobs and roles. That depends on the definition being used [1]. IMO, using this definition of governing [2], governing is taking responsibility, we do it all the time, and it is tough at times. An example of governing is deciding when to change your baby's diaper. You take responsibility to put in the time and effort (which boils down to money) to keep the baby healthy, proper, and happy. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics#Extensive_and_limited https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics#Extensive_and_limited [2] https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/govern https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/govern
    - tubularhells 6y ago

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]