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It's only meddling if you're way too stressed out by trying to keep up with capitalism. If you live a simple life without too much stress then it's not really
by burade 6y ago
It's only meddling if you're way too stressed out by trying to keep up with capitalism.
If you live a simple life without too much stress then it's not really meddling.
- Swizec 6y agoNo it’s definitely meddling when you’re 30+ and your mom waltzes into your kitchen and says “Mmmmm are you sure that knife goes in that drawer? And when’s the last time you did the dishes anyway look at this mess”
- polka_haunts_us 6y agoAnd then heaven forbid if you have different political views from them, especially in 2020. My mom treats me very weirdly, not because I actually voted for Trump, but because I don't spend my days ranting about how he's Satan incarnate like she does. My sister aligns politically with my mom and she moved to MONGOLIA to get away from her. I'm glad for people who truly like their families, but not all of us won that particular genetic lottery.
- BurningFrog 6y agoPolitical tribes are taking over the role of family, even within families.
- natchy 6y agoi'd say political tribes are taking over the role of the church or spiritual leaders. Work is taking over the role of the family.
- BurningFrog 6y agoThe Blue Tribe is an alternative religion is many ways. The Red Tribe still has Christianity, so they don't need another one.
- smileysteve 6y agoDisagree vehemently
- BurningFrog 6y agoWhich is the typical religious response :)
- burner831234 6y agoI agree with most of this One thing I've learned in my 30s is its not a genetic lottery. There are definitely very irrevocable dynamics but many can be molded with a level of concern, effort and boundary setting that we usually associate with work added with a dash of true sincerity and deep care.
- cgriswald 6y ago> There are definitely very irrevocable dynamics but many can be molded with a level of concern, effort and boundary setting that we usually associate with work added with a dash of true sincerity and deep care. I think this largely depends on factors outside our individual control—specifically, the other person. Sometimes setting boundaries, doing the work, can help the other person see the way their behavior is impacting you. Other times, it won't, so if you want the relationship to continue you have to be willing to always and repeatedly do all the work to maintain the relationship. Without the other person being capable and willing to recognize their own issues (and maybe get some therapy), no amount of your own effort can effect a permanent change.
- rootusrootus 6y agoIt is both fascinating and sad to watch. My family has split along political lines, with half despising Trump and half worshipping him. Each side hates the other sufficiently that we just avoid talking anymore, so it's like having two distinct families. I don't know the solution other than everyone agreeing not to talk politics, ever. And even better, actually deciding that politics is pretty insignificant and only something to think about on election day.
- Fnoord 6y agoPolitics is the opposite of insignificant, and everything is related to politics, so you're sitting on a ticking time bomb if you're as a group trying to ignore it. Ignoring the pink elephant in the room doesn't make it go away.
- natchy 6y agopolitics is governing. most people don't govern. We have other jobs and roles. My influence on politics is insignificant vs my influence on other things that will impact my quality of life and those around me. In fact, politics and political news are a huge time suck for lots of people. Might as well be playing video games or watching sports.
- Fnoord 6y ago> politics is governing. most people don't govern. We have other jobs and roles. That depends on the definition being used [1]. IMO, using this definition of governing [2], governing is taking responsibility, we do it all the time, and it is tough at times. An example of governing is deciding when to change your baby's diaper. You take responsibility to put in the time and effort (which boils down to money) to keep the baby healthy, proper, and happy. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics#Extensive_and_limited https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics#Extensive_and_limited [2] https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/govern https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/govern
- tubularhells 6y ago
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- celim307 6y agoSounds like mom needs a hobby and her own friends
- Viliam1234 6y agoSounds like she needs a different hobby.
- lhorie 6y agoAnd it's a surprisingly common thing. Some women in my family have had huge fights with their moms because of stuff like this.
- alashley 6y agoYeah being told "it's time to go to bed now" as a 27 year old man is a special kind of silent death.
- felipemnoa 6y agoA lot of people won't admit it but I'm sure it has happened to lots of them here. The thing is, some parents hate to admit that their kids have grown up. Some narcissistic parents hate to think their kids have surpassed them, and as a result they try find every single flaw on their kids' life to use as proof that that is not the case.
- jelliclesfarm 6y agoI almost teared up when I read this. I miss my mum!!
- viridian 6y agoWhat does this have to do with capitalism? Some people just don't want to have to deal with their grandmother criticizing their garden productivity on the daily, or their dad picking the mail up from their mailbox and bringing it to his home.
- astura 6y agoWhat? This makes no sense. Capitalism isn't the problem, lack of boundaries is. My best friend lived upstairs from her parents for years. It was her own apartment but the arrangement was hell on earth. Multiple times a day every day her mom would come barging in (and I do mean barging) to insert herself into whatever was going on in my friend's apartment, make nasty comments, or borrow/take something. Her mom eventually just stopped buying her own stuff because she just would take whatever my friend had if she needed it, plus it gave her more reason to bother my friend more often, which seemed to be her favorite activity in the world. Her mom even stopped driving her own car and just took my friend's whenever she wanted to go somewhere. The constant stress of the situation was so bad for my friend, it legitimately was ruining her health.
- DamnYuppie 6y agoThat is almost a form of abuse to be honest. I hope your friend has learned to set boundaries and enforce them. People like her mom are very good at manipulating their children and seeing absolutely nothing wrong with it.
- felipemnoa 6y agoI imagine that the only way to truly set boundaries would be for the daughter to move away.
- cgriswald 6y agoThe underlying problem is the lack of boundaries. Moving away does not solve that problem. Only setting and enforcing the boundaries will solve the problem.
- dredmorbius 6y agoBoundaries are a function of respect, assertion, community support, physical barriers, and distance. Distance and cutting off contact (restraining order if necessary) are profoundly effective boundaries.
- ch4s3 6y agoI have a childhood friend who helps his father run a family business and lives on the corner of the family farm. His wife left him about a year ago, because his mother wouldn't give them a moment alone and was constantly letting herself into their house. These folks had a fairly traditional life and multi-generational family structure, but his mother suffocated their marriage. Had nothing to do with their engagement with markets.
- mwfunk 6y agoNo it's boundary issues and meddling and it's not remotely OK.
- ekianjo 6y ago> It's only meddling if you're way too stressed out by trying to keep up with capitalism. Funny you bring up capitalism where the story is about parent-children relations.