2 ms·

Californians don't screw in lightbulbs. They screw in hot tubs. (this joke is dated, I know)

• boogies 6y ago
  All of `fortune -m Californian` is worth reading (and probably mostly dated). (riddles) % Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Five. One to screw in the light bulb and four to share the experience. (Actually, Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.) Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience. % Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to the earlier joke. % (ethnic) % Hear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus? Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe. % To a Californian, a person must prove himself criminally insane before he is allowed to drive a taxi in New York. For New York cabbies, honesty and stopping at red lights are both optional. -- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts % To a Californian, all New Yorkers are cold; even in heat they rarely go above fifty-eight degrees. If you collapse on a street in New York, plan to spend a few days there. -- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts % To a New Yorker, all Californians are blond, even the blacks. There are, in fact, whole neighborhoods that are zoned only for blond people. The only way to tell the difference between California and Sweden is that the Swedes speak better English." -- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts