5 ms·

Everyone reaches the point where they just want to live in a yurt and milk goats eventually. It's been a fucking rough year or five.

cultus 6y ago
This kind of sounds like depression or anxiety, which most everyone has to some extent now. Loss of interest in normal activities is a key symptom. I've heard that mental health professionals are still trying to figure out how much to pathologize the very bad but mostly normal responses people are having to 2020. Everyone that's having issues should talk to their doctor and/or see a therapist. They know what they are doing.
- Argish 6y ago
  You can also buy a motorcycle. It's cheaper that therapists in the long term.
  - fsloth 6y ago
    I'm fairly sure a motorcycle could have not had the discussions with me I had with my therapist. The whole point of therapy is not that they are superhuman who can fix the world. The point is having another person, whom you trust, and who has experience of how to help people, to take a good look at you. They discuss with they see, and suggest simple things you could do. The thing is - nothing is stopping you doing those things without a therapist. But you likely are not aware what the specific single things to help you are. Otherwise you would be doing those, and not needing a therapist.
  - falcolas 6y ago
    As someone who has motorcycled in the past... Naw. It ain't going to be cheaper. More adrenaline causing perhaps, but not cheaper. Between buying accessories, upgrades, and different styles, you'll be paying them off for awhile. One a more serious note: Riding a motorcycle won't cure depression. Depression, on the other hand, can make you not want to motorcycle anymore.
    - _huayra_ 6y ago
      I think people substitute a lot of these "flow-inducing activities" (require attention and alertness, often adrenaline-inducing too) because it temporarily stops the mental habit loops that fuel depression. It's hard to think about all the "should'ves" while dodging Escalade-driving, phone-distracted people on the highway or struggling on a crux move on some climbing route knowing your last piece of gear is 3-4m below you. It's a nice escape, but I definitely think dealing with these feelings directly by talking them out with a therapist / journaling / meditation is the only way to deal with them effectively (although it's still hard)
  - colecut 6y ago
    This is better advice than most will admit. If it's still too expensive, maybe try a Onewheel =)
  - croh 6y ago
    Riding motorcycle is kinda meditative atleast for me. I can ride hours (with slow speed). I don't plan trips ahead, just start with map and keep exploring green areas. On ride, I love to observe everything without involving also I like to feel my bike and listening its engine. I guess gist is, do something you enjoy for hours without any goals or any pressure. It should make you tired at end of day. And then you will start feeling good. In covid-era, luckily I picked up cooking as hobby and survived. God, they should make a work week of 4 days. I am really jealous of europeans (spicifically scandinavian countries ) where work-life balance is highly prioritized
  - cultus 6y ago
    Most people only need therapy for a few months. Very few need long-term therapy.
- falcolas 6y ago
  > Loss of interest in normal activities The problem with this form of diagnosis is that everything the OP mentioned is in relation to one single activity: programming. It's entirely possible (and should be considered, if the rest of their life is still good) that their interests have simply shifted away from programming without a mental disorder to go along with it. That said, yeah, take it up with a professional, if only to rule depression out.
y-c-o-m-b 6y ago
Thanks for telling it like it is. The advice in this thread is really lacking. Maybe it's because the real answer is there is no advice and we just have to suck it up? "Take a 3 month break and come back to it". I'm back. I don't want to do programming anymore. "Ok you should play video games and not do anything productive, then come back to it". Cool, just finished Days Gone and i'm replaying BioShock. I don't want to do programming anymore. "You're just burned out and depressed, find a therapist, take medicine, etc.". Did that. I'm on Welbutrin and my therapist says I should look into changing fields, maybe going back to school. Easy right? I don't want to do programming anymore. "It's all mental, meditate". I sit outside on my deck every weekend and just enjoy the outdoors. I still don't want to write programs. "Buy a motorcycle". I already have one and I love it, but I still don't want to write programs. After many years of feeling this way and getting the answers like the above, any answer not in the realm of "you can move to X field with relative ease and maintain the same salary/benefits" doesn't feel like it's going to help. It seems my only option is to just accept defeat
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
rabuse 6y ago
I always say this to people when I get stressed out with programming projects. "I'm just gonna quit and go work on a farm."

cultus 6y ago

This kind of sounds like depression or anxiety, which most everyone has to some extent now. Loss of interest in normal activities is a key symptom. I've heard that mental health professionals are still trying to figure out how much to pathologize the very bad but mostly normal responses people are having to 2020. Everyone that's having issues should talk to their doctor and/or see a therapist. They know what they are doing.

Argish 6y ago
You can also buy a motorcycle. It's cheaper that therapists in the long term.
- fsloth 6y ago
  I'm fairly sure a motorcycle could have not had the discussions with me I had with my therapist. The whole point of therapy is not that they are superhuman who can fix the world. The point is having another person, whom you trust, and who has experience of how to help people, to take a good look at you. They discuss with they see, and suggest simple things you could do. The thing is - nothing is stopping you doing those things without a therapist. But you likely are not aware what the specific single things to help you are. Otherwise you would be doing those, and not needing a therapist.
- falcolas 6y ago
  As someone who has motorcycled in the past... Naw. It ain't going to be cheaper. More adrenaline causing perhaps, but not cheaper. Between buying accessories, upgrades, and different styles, you'll be paying them off for awhile. One a more serious note: Riding a motorcycle won't cure depression. Depression, on the other hand, can make you not want to motorcycle anymore.
  - _huayra_ 6y ago
    I think people substitute a lot of these "flow-inducing activities" (require attention and alertness, often adrenaline-inducing too) because it temporarily stops the mental habit loops that fuel depression. It's hard to think about all the "should'ves" while dodging Escalade-driving, phone-distracted people on the highway or struggling on a crux move on some climbing route knowing your last piece of gear is 3-4m below you. It's a nice escape, but I definitely think dealing with these feelings directly by talking them out with a therapist / journaling / meditation is the only way to deal with them effectively (although it's still hard)
- colecut 6y ago
  This is better advice than most will admit. If it's still too expensive, maybe try a Onewheel =)
- croh 6y ago
  Riding motorcycle is kinda meditative atleast for me. I can ride hours (with slow speed). I don't plan trips ahead, just start with map and keep exploring green areas. On ride, I love to observe everything without involving also I like to feel my bike and listening its engine. I guess gist is, do something you enjoy for hours without any goals or any pressure. It should make you tired at end of day. And then you will start feeling good. In covid-era, luckily I picked up cooking as hobby and survived. God, they should make a work week of 4 days. I am really jealous of europeans (spicifically scandinavian countries ) where work-life balance is highly prioritized
- cultus 6y ago
  Most people only need therapy for a few months. Very few need long-term therapy.
falcolas 6y ago
> Loss of interest in normal activities The problem with this form of diagnosis is that everything the OP mentioned is in relation to one single activity: programming. It's entirely possible (and should be considered, if the rest of their life is still good) that their interests have simply shifted away from programming without a mental disorder to go along with it. That said, yeah, take it up with a professional, if only to rule depression out.

y-c-o-m-b 6y ago

Thanks for telling it like it is. The advice in this thread is really lacking. Maybe it's because the real answer is there is no advice and we just have to suck it up? "Take a 3 month break and come back to it". I'm back. I don't want to do programming anymore. "Ok you should play video games and not do anything productive, then come back to it". Cool, just finished Days Gone and i'm replaying BioShock. I don't want to do programming anymore. "You're just burned out and depressed, find a therapist, take medicine, etc.". Did that. I'm on Welbutrin and my therapist says I should look into changing fields, maybe going back to school. Easy right? I don't want to do programming anymore. "It's all mental, meditate". I sit outside on my deck every weekend and just enjoy the outdoors. I still don't want to write programs. "Buy a motorcycle". I already have one and I love it, but I still don't want to write programs. After many years of feeling this way and getting the answers like the above, any answer not in the realm of "you can move to X field with relative ease and maintain the same salary/benefits" doesn't feel like it's going to help. It seems my only option is to just accept defeat

deleted 6y ago
[deleted]

rabuse 6y ago

I always say this to people when I get stressed out with programming projects. "I'm just gonna quit and go work on a farm."