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Wow, if men weren't the target here, there might be accusations that it's sexist. Anyway, you know what? I don't like to shop. That's why I buy my groceries on

by pstack 15y ago

Wow, if men weren't the target here, there might be accusations that it's sexist. Anyway, you know what? I don't like to shop. That's why I buy my groceries online and my local store delivers them the next day. I spend five minutes to do it and someone else goes to the store and brings it to my kitchen, so I can avoid the driving, the parking, the lines, the kids, the checkouts, the bringing the groceries in. Same for as many other things as I can buy online instead of in person. Including (as much as possible) clothes. See, I'm a male. I don't particularly care if I'm wearing the latest fashion or if I've adopted the Bieber haircut. It doesn't matter to me. I buy clothing that doesn't have logos or advertise anything on it. I like black clothing. I also don't like to waste time with hairstyles. I shave my head and have for over a decade. It saves me time and looks fine. Just like pants or slacks and a black shirt looks fine. Because, again, I don't build my entire life and self-esteem around what I look like. As long as I look like I showered and didn't sleep in a gutter overnight, I'm fine. And, believe it or not, I've never had a woman give a damn about my shoes or the label on my clothing or whether my hair was feathered. They always want to know what I do for a living and what kind of car I drive and whether I own my own home and what part of town I live in and what school I went to and (in roundabout ways of asking) how much money I make. None have ever given a god damn about my clothing. And if they have, I didn't know about it and didn't care. And still don't. Now, who's going to write the follow-up article about how Women Shouldn't Shop, because they don't know what they're doing when they're buying a new stereo or computer or television or car or other (insert stereotype).

wccrawford 15y ago
I order a lot from Amazon now, but there's no local store that will do that... I really don't mind waiting a day or 2 for the groceries if I can skip all that other nonsense and code or play games instead during that time. Sadly, the last food I bought on Amazon was about 30% cheaper than the grocery store, too. It's practically forcing my hand at this point.
- pstack 15y ago
  Depending on the size of your city, you may want to check around. In the places I've lived the past decade (Portland, San Francisco, Denver) stores have had online ordering and delivery for over a decade. Safeway, Kroger, and Albertsons and if places like Homeshop, Peapod, and Webvan are still around, they do a similar thing. I suspect those chains only deliver in cities large enough to justify the cost of infrastructure, though.
josefresco 15y ago
Being a "male" has nothing to do with your issues. Maybe the girls who did approach you did so despite the fact that you're dressed and groomed like mental patient (I say that lovingly fellow HNer) Anecdotal evidence is fun and all ("I have a GF so I must know everything about women!") but to think that wardrobe means nothing to the opposite sex is just crazy. As soon as you enter the room your entire presence is scrutinized immediately by every woman (and most likely some men) in the room. Most won't need to even ask you how much you make after they approach you, they will have already deduced it from what you're wearing and your personal grooming (or lack thereof)
- pstack 15y ago
  The gist of my point wasn't that women don't necessarily care about clothes and hairstyles and so on (of course they do) as much as it was that I don't care that they care. You can dress nice and look good without following whatever the latest fashion was dictated to society in this month's GQ and Vogue and unless you're really into primping, you may as well just go with a look that is relatively timeless. Frankly, you have to determine that you're living your own life at some point and stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks to the point that it impacts the way you even clothe yourself (beyond stuff matching, belonging to this century, and being clean). If anyone here, for example, really cared that much, they'd all be race car drivers and pro athletes.
- thomasgerbe 15y ago
  "Anecdotal evidence is fun and all ("I have a GF so I must know everything about women!") but to think that wardrobe means nothing to the opposite sex is just crazy." Precisely. I think having a style does say a lot about a person. This doesn't mean having to dress in luxury brands, it means taking a stance. Women definitely notice a guy who takes the care for their appearance. That doesn't mean she'll instantly be attracted to him because obviously attraction relies on a combination of factors, but it does give him a slight leg up over other guys, not unlike personality, height, facial appearance, etc. Caring about appearances isn't a bad thing. It's not like men don't judge women by comparable metrics.
JoeAltmaier 15y ago
I'm with you. But I do know guys who Do care. They aren't All gay, and some of them look very good. In fact one fellow, Josh, never wore a single company clothing giveaway in the entire time I worked with him. We even got leather jackets after one release, and he gave it away! No logo, stylish, just not his style. I don't think he spent any inordinate amount of time on it, he just had opinions.
- pstack 15y ago
  Oh, I know there are guys who are into clothing and hair and all of that, just as much as there are guys who only wear one color of clothing (so everything always matches!) and usually take a trusted female along to make sure they don't do anything too stupid. But that is a case where someone has chosen to care. If you have an interest in something, it's completely different than someone volunteering their opinion that you suck at it and need someone to do it the right way for you. Especially if it is of no interest to you or you're fine with your own choices, thank-you-very-much. What they're really saying is "let me help you, so that I'll stop judging you".
gyardley 15y ago
I also hate to shop. When I buy clothes, I'm in and out, like a ninja. And if I had my way, I'd wear my jeans / t-shirt / hoodie combo every day for the rest of my life. However, there's times when your clothes matter and your usual garb won't cut it. Want good service at a posh restaurant? Doing a bizdev presentation at an ad agency or media company? Getting deposed in front of a grand jury? You'll want to have a broader sartorial range. It's not about your self-esteem, it's about the (often unfair) reactions of others to your looks. I haven't seen the product, but a dress.me-like service could be useful here. In the past, I debated signing up for hendrickspark.com, an online personal shopping service, but I don't spend enough on clothes to get value out of it. Perhaps dress.me will be better suited for someone who only occasionally buys posh clothes.

by pstack 15y ago

wccrawford 15y ago

I order a lot from Amazon now, but there's no local store that will do that... I really don't mind waiting a day or 2 for the groceries if I can skip all that other nonsense and code or play games instead during that time. Sadly, the last food I bought on Amazon was about 30% cheaper than the grocery store, too. It's practically forcing my hand at this point.

pstack 15y ago
Depending on the size of your city, you may want to check around. In the places I've lived the past decade (Portland, San Francisco, Denver) stores have had online ordering and delivery for over a decade. Safeway, Kroger, and Albertsons and if places like Homeshop, Peapod, and Webvan are still around, they do a similar thing. I suspect those chains only deliver in cities large enough to justify the cost of infrastructure, though.

josefresco 15y ago

Being a "male" has nothing to do with your issues. Maybe the girls who did approach you did so despite the fact that you're dressed and groomed like mental patient (I say that lovingly fellow HNer) Anecdotal evidence is fun and all ("I have a GF so I must know everything about women!") but to think that wardrobe means nothing to the opposite sex is just crazy. As soon as you enter the room your entire presence is scrutinized immediately by every woman (and most likely some men) in the room. Most won't need to even ask you how much you make after they approach you, they will have already deduced it from what you're wearing and your personal grooming (or lack thereof)

pstack 15y ago
The gist of my point wasn't that women don't necessarily care about clothes and hairstyles and so on (of course they do) as much as it was that I don't care that they care. You can dress nice and look good without following whatever the latest fashion was dictated to society in this month's GQ and Vogue and unless you're really into primping, you may as well just go with a look that is relatively timeless. Frankly, you have to determine that you're living your own life at some point and stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks to the point that it impacts the way you even clothe yourself (beyond stuff matching, belonging to this century, and being clean). If anyone here, for example, really cared that much, they'd all be race car drivers and pro athletes.
thomasgerbe 15y ago
"Anecdotal evidence is fun and all ("I have a GF so I must know everything about women!") but to think that wardrobe means nothing to the opposite sex is just crazy." Precisely. I think having a style does say a lot about a person. This doesn't mean having to dress in luxury brands, it means taking a stance. Women definitely notice a guy who takes the care for their appearance. That doesn't mean she'll instantly be attracted to him because obviously attraction relies on a combination of factors, but it does give him a slight leg up over other guys, not unlike personality, height, facial appearance, etc. Caring about appearances isn't a bad thing. It's not like men don't judge women by comparable metrics.

JoeAltmaier 15y ago

I'm with you. But I do know guys who Do care. They aren't All gay, and some of them look very good. In fact one fellow, Josh, never wore a single company clothing giveaway in the entire time I worked with him. We even got leather jackets after one release, and he gave it away! No logo, stylish, just not his style. I don't think he spent any inordinate amount of time on it, he just had opinions.

pstack 15y ago
Oh, I know there are guys who are into clothing and hair and all of that, just as much as there are guys who only wear one color of clothing (so everything always matches!) and usually take a trusted female along to make sure they don't do anything too stupid. But that is a case where someone has chosen to care. If you have an interest in something, it's completely different than someone volunteering their opinion that you suck at it and need someone to do it the right way for you. Especially if it is of no interest to you or you're fine with your own choices, thank-you-very-much. What they're really saying is "let me help you, so that I'll stop judging you".

gyardley 15y ago

I also hate to shop. When I buy clothes, I'm in and out, like a ninja. And if I had my way, I'd wear my jeans / t-shirt / hoodie combo every day for the rest of my life. However, there's times when your clothes matter and your usual garb won't cut it. Want good service at a posh restaurant? Doing a bizdev presentation at an ad agency or media company? Getting deposed in front of a grand jury? You'll want to have a broader sartorial range. It's not about your self-esteem, it's about the (often unfair) reactions of others to your looks. I haven't seen the product, but a dress.me-like service could be useful here. In the past, I debated signing up for hendrickspark.com, an online personal shopping service, but I don't spend enough on clothes to get value out of it. Perhaps dress.me will be better suited for someone who only occasionally buys posh clothes.