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I'm not a female, but I feel that asking only females is making this question only artificially "irrelevant to 98% of HN." Me not being from the UK is probably
by larrik 15y ago
I'm not a female, but I feel that asking only females is making this question only artificially "irrelevant to 98% of HN." Me not being from the UK is probably a bigger barrier.
Still, I don't understand. Instead of your child being in a place where they can socialize with other kids and be watched by adults, you want to let them spend all day playing quietly by themselves or being babysat by the TV while you are working on your computer all day with your back turned? And this is your unrealistic, ideal best-case?!
If you don't mean full time, that may work (you can probably squeeze in a couple of hours a day, at the expense of the house growing messier and messier). This is much more reasonable when you aren't paying for daycare.
I'd also like to ask if you really think you could handle being alone all day, constantly juggling 2 stressful jobs at once, every day. A full time mom can leave the house with the kid(s) and socialize, but if you are working that would just be something else to stress over while you try to "squeeze it in".
If you can afford full-time daycare, are you SURE you can't afford to just stay home? (At least you OR your partner)
P.S. I actually am not a big fan of daycare, and my wife is likely going to go back to being a full-time mom after half a year of working part time specifically to let both mommy and baby socialize outside of the house (separately, in this case). Gas prices, tuition hikes, and the loss of alternative care have made it too costly (she was working 3 days just to pay for 2 days of daycare. Seriously).
(Edited to add a couple of sentences, didn't notice Jem's reply until afterwards)
- Jem 15y agoMy little girl is not big on socialising with other kids she doesn't know - and even after nearly 6 months at nursery she's still struggling to fit in. I would prefer to have her in an environment where I can focus on her current emotional needs and worry about socialising with people we know before forcing her into the big wide world. (We don't watch TV.) I definitely would be aiming to do it part time. Earning enough to keep things ticking over, not to have some sort of luxury lifestyle. Childcare currently costs over half my monthly income so I hear you there.
- hopeless 15y agoIf childcare costs over half your salary (totally believe it, that's why my wife had to give up work), then even part-time work is going to break-even for you. So really you only need to get 4hrs work done each day (assuming same hourly rate - although, as a freelancer, you should be changing much more). I have 2 kids^: the 18mo still sleeps for 2-3hours in the middle of the day and even the 3.5yo will have a 1hour nap/quiet time most days. Assuming you've got that routine, perhaps your husband would like some quality time with the child for an hour after work? And that still leaves all the evenings and weekends totally free. ^ disclosure: male, married father-of-two, employed Edit: formatting
- tom_b 15y agoMy daughter was exactly the same at age 2 and has completely flip-flopped at daycare. She was initially very reserved around kids (and still is around new adults), but is very social with the other kids in her daycare classes. It took a couple of years, but her personality and openness to other children is now commented on by her teachers and other adults. She actively attaches herself to new kids in class and integrates them into the class. She's still not a very aggressive socializer with new kids in new environments, but she is much more open than I would have ever imagined. Good luck - I don't have any advice other than to continue to trust your instincts, but wanted to let you the "fitting in" thing might change in unexpected ways.
- hugh3 15y agoMy little girl is not big on socialising with other kids she doesn't know - and even after nearly 6 months at nursery she's still struggling to fit in. If she's having difficulty developing those social skills surely this makes it more important to throw her into social situations rather than protecting her from them?
- Jem 15y agoI disagree, but I didn't write this to debate parenting methods so will leave it there.
- araneae 15y agoFYI there's evidence that early daycare leads to behavioral problems later on. One hypothesis is that it's because kids model their behavior off of other kids... instead of adults, which are the model of what we want kids to become.