I don’t believe in free will. It has been a much different experience than shedding my belief in God. When I was young I used to “sense” someone always watching

I don’t believe in free will. It has been a much different experience than shedding my belief in God. When I was young I used to “sense” someone always watching me, to the point of feeling shame in natural situations like bathing. One day the feeling just faded, and it was a palpable change in my perception of life. With the absence of free will, that intuition has been extremely difficult for me to hold onto. It is fleeting, even after hundreds of pages of books reiterating the fact. To approximate the intuition, when I see someone in a morally questionable situation or experiencing sheer bad luck, I try to remember to tell myself “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”