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Being misunderstood is a great temporary moat. I could write a book on this, but suffice it to say, I didn't have confidence in my own vision until I took the t
by motohagiography 6y ago
Being misunderstood is a great temporary moat. I could write a book on this, but suffice it to say, I didn't have confidence in my own vision until I took the time to really look at others and realized that the main difference between me and the average idiot was that I had bothered to look at the ideas of other idiots at all. It was like their entire ontology had become an ant farm. It was the moment I realized, I am a super-idiot.
I only half joke, because becoming a super-idiot liberated me from the perfectionism and the addiction to approval that caused a stultifying and primal narcissistic fear of criticism.
If you are struggling with this, take it from someone on the other side of it: It's ok, you're an idiot.
- keeganpoppen 6y agothanks, from this aspiring idiot :)
- eyelidlessness 6y agoThis is a great take. If I may piggyback, one of the things that’s been important in my own development (personal, social, professional) is to recognize where my lack of confidence is inhibiting actions or improvements I want to pursue, and try to get closer to risking failure without hesitating. Mistakes can be embarrassing or even tragic, but they can still be a source of growth. And they can reveal that some anxieties are partly or wholly unwarranted, either because I have more strength in whatever area than I expected or because... it’s really not so bad when I reveal that I don’t.
- hhas01 6y agoI’m the world’s biggest idiot and I approve of this message.
- DoreenMichele 6y agoYou are reminding me of this: https://thesongfoundry.com/i-am-an-idiot/ https://thesongfoundry.com/i-am-an-idiot/ (Comment edited)
- licebmi__at__ 6y agoI have a similar take, but I framed my thought around failure. I realized there are hundreds of ways that my life will get worse by taking some kind of choice, and also hundreds of ways that my life will get worse if I take the opposite choice. So by embracing the fact that is quite likely that I will fail, I got rid of the fear and the paralysis.
- ackbar03 6y agoI can sort of resonate with this. I also realized that once I make it my default assumption that whatever it is I plan to do is most likely going to result in some sort of dumpster fire, and if I'm still ok with it, than the fear, concerns over other people's judgment, everything goes away. But of course it has to be important enough that you are genuinely on with it failing
- idclip 6y agoI feel we should talk. Any book advice?
- motohagiography 6y agoThanks. My general book advice would be to read for pleasure above all, and to find mentors and practice something (anything) instead. Current favourite minds that still bother to write include people like Matthew B. Crawford, Joscha Bach, and Alex Danco, mostly because they talk about the ideas of other people I've read. Be light.
- a4444f 6y agoNeither addiction, perfectionism nor being an idiot is OK. The word OK has an opposite meaning. A different matter is whether it is possible to be without addiction, perfectionism or idiocy.
- AirMax98 6y agoI used to take some yoga classes where the series of beginner poses was the same every class. I was told that this was to keep people feeling as if they themselves were always a beginner — our shared revelation here really reminds me that there is tremendous value in sometimes questioning the “sure things”!