4 ms·

Do you have children? If yes, how on earth is this doable?

mattbee 6y ago
This reply works for a lot of self-improvement advice I read on HN.
forgotmypw17 6y ago
No, of course this would be somewhat different with children. However, this is how I would also raise a child, letting them sleep as much and whenever they want. When I was a child myself, my parents were in disagreement. My dad's opinion that I should be "broken in" so that I am better able to integrate into society. My mom thought more along the lines of what I describe. Seeing that my dad had a societal job while my mom raised me, she largely won out. I think I have her defense and sheltering of me to thank for being blessed with rarely having problems in this department.
- lqet 6y ago
  > However, this is how I would also raise a child, letting them sleep as much and whenever they want. With small kids, the problem is usually not you trying to force a schedule on the kid, but the kid forcing a schedule on you.
  - forgotmypw17 6y ago
    Yes, of course, their schedule takes priority. We can't always sleep as much as we want to, even without kids. But I've certainly made it a high priority.
hndamien 6y ago
Let them sleep when they are tired and wake when they want.
- treeman79 6y ago
  My kids are at 3am. School routine starts 6am. They absolutely will stay up late every night if given a choice.
- lqet 6y ago
  It takes considerable effort to "allow yourself to sleep until you are "fully slept"" if you are woken up by a 2 year old sitting on your head and trying to get you to look at a book with him.
  - forgotmypw17 6y ago
    Having kids changes many things. Certainly, your opportunity to sleep fully will be hampered. However, if the responsibilities are shared between multiple adults, you can still get it done some of the time, and be well-rested and comfortable for when it's your turn to watch the kids and let other adults do their sleeping.
    - doitLP 6y ago
      No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.
  - sleepfailure 6y ago
    It is clear that their advice is not suitable for someone who has a family and so on... single and living alone, maybe
  - ufoolme 6y ago
    “Fully slept....” That’s the dream. My daughter will try to open up my eye lids whilst I’m asleep and then start yelling “it’s morning time” at the top of her lungs. She has done this before at 4am and now I jolt awake at the sound of her entering our bedroom. Sadly it has been very effective at waking me up, and it’s hard to train her out of it when it works so well. To be honest I think I’m also sort of hard impressed by the brutality of it all.
novok 6y ago
You have a village / extended family that helps you raise your children. Also have your kids younger so you don't need sleep as much. Just accept that the first 5 years wont be as sleepful ;) Also small kids tend to sleep a lot, just not on your schedule :D
- Ma8ee 6y ago
  This is actually the only way that COVID has affected me negatively. We bought a house close to my parents so they could help with the kids, but now they have been self isolating since March.
hutzlibu 6y ago
I have small children and I try to live and sleep the same style. Which is of course now much harder, but it still somewhat works with taking shifts with the mother. I still lack sleep though, but I heard this is normal with small kids...
- hermitmaster 6y ago
  While I can’t categorically say it gets better with time, it has for me. I have an 18 month old and an almost three year old. I’m back to quasi-normal sleep now. I do wish we had kids when we were younger (I’m 37), but we weren’t planning on having any.
  - forgotmypw17 6y ago
    Thank you for sharing, encouraging to hear.
  - hutzlibu 6y ago
    Well my toddler is 16 months and things did really already improved a lot in terms of sleep, but the new baby is coming any minute now ... so I expect less of it in the next time ;)
    - hermitmaster 6y ago
      We’re expecting number three in August. FWIW, number two was a lot easier for us.
      - hutzlibu 6y ago
        Thanks. I hope so, too. Good luck to you .. we are already in the clinic by now.
quickthrower2 6y ago
If you have kids probably ignore this advice and just sleep once they are asleep. It depends on the age but from about 2 they are probably sleeping through the night most of the time so should be OK. WFH for your day nap!
- mathattack 6y ago
  I’m the opposite. I go to sleep when I give up on them going to bed. :-)

This reply works for a lot of self-improvement advice I read on HN.

No, of course this would be somewhat different with children. However, this is how I would also raise a child, letting them sleep as much and whenever they want. When I was a child myself, my parents were in disagreement. My dad's opinion that I should be "broken in" so that I am better able to integrate into society. My mom thought more along the lines of what I describe. Seeing that my dad had a societal job while my mom raised me, she largely won out. I think I have her defense and sheltering of me to thank for being blessed with rarely having problems in this department.

lqet 6y ago
> However, this is how I would also raise a child, letting them sleep as much and whenever they want. With small kids, the problem is usually not you trying to force a schedule on the kid, but the kid forcing a schedule on you.
- forgotmypw17 6y ago
  Yes, of course, their schedule takes priority. We can't always sleep as much as we want to, even without kids. But I've certainly made it a high priority.

hndamien 6y ago

Let them sleep when they are tired and wake when they want.

treeman79 6y ago
My kids are at 3am. School routine starts 6am. They absolutely will stay up late every night if given a choice.
lqet 6y ago
It takes considerable effort to "allow yourself to sleep until you are "fully slept"" if you are woken up by a 2 year old sitting on your head and trying to get you to look at a book with him.
- forgotmypw17 6y ago
  Having kids changes many things. Certainly, your opportunity to sleep fully will be hampered. However, if the responsibilities are shared between multiple adults, you can still get it done some of the time, and be well-rested and comfortable for when it's your turn to watch the kids and let other adults do their sleeping.
  - doitLP 6y ago
    No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.
- sleepfailure 6y ago
  It is clear that their advice is not suitable for someone who has a family and so on... single and living alone, maybe
- ufoolme 6y ago
  “Fully slept....” That’s the dream. My daughter will try to open up my eye lids whilst I’m asleep and then start yelling “it’s morning time” at the top of her lungs. She has done this before at 4am and now I jolt awake at the sound of her entering our bedroom. Sadly it has been very effective at waking me up, and it’s hard to train her out of it when it works so well. To be honest I think I’m also sort of hard impressed by the brutality of it all.

novok 6y ago

You have a village / extended family that helps you raise your children. Also have your kids younger so you don't need sleep as much. Just accept that the first 5 years wont be as sleepful ;) Also small kids tend to sleep a lot, just not on your schedule :D

Ma8ee 6y ago
This is actually the only way that COVID has affected me negatively. We bought a house close to my parents so they could help with the kids, but now they have been self isolating since March.

hutzlibu 6y ago

I have small children and I try to live and sleep the same style. Which is of course now much harder, but it still somewhat works with taking shifts with the mother. I still lack sleep though, but I heard this is normal with small kids...

hermitmaster 6y ago
While I can’t categorically say it gets better with time, it has for me. I have an 18 month old and an almost three year old. I’m back to quasi-normal sleep now. I do wish we had kids when we were younger (I’m 37), but we weren’t planning on having any.
- forgotmypw17 6y ago
  Thank you for sharing, encouraging to hear.
- hutzlibu 6y ago
  Well my toddler is 16 months and things did really already improved a lot in terms of sleep, but the new baby is coming any minute now ... so I expect less of it in the next time ;)
  - hermitmaster 6y ago
    We’re expecting number three in August. FWIW, number two was a lot easier for us.
    - hutzlibu 6y ago
      Thanks. I hope so, too. Good luck to you .. we are already in the clinic by now.

quickthrower2 6y ago

If you have kids probably ignore this advice and just sleep once they are asleep. It depends on the age but from about 2 they are probably sleeping through the night most of the time so should be OK. WFH for your day nap!

mathattack 6y ago
I’m the opposite. I go to sleep when I give up on them going to bed. :-)